The Fastest Way to Change Something About Yourself
Do you have some personality trait, quirk or habit that you would like to change but have yet to succeed? Well I know the easiest and fastest way to change anything about yourself. That sounds way too good to be true, but I guess you’ll have to keep reading if you want to know for sure.
Step 1: Decide what you want to change
Examples include confidence-level, speech impediments, ability to converse with the opposite sex and other sources of insecurity.
Step 2: Lie to yourself
I know this sounds stupid at first, but hear me out. You need to tell yourself that you are exactly what you currently are not.
If you are very shy, then tell yourself that you are considered by most to be “the life of the party” and that you love addressing entire groups of people. You are a magician with words and have a special knack for social interaction that others admire. Yadayadayada.. you get the idea.
Step 3: Imagine the change in yourself
Create a minute-long movie in your head of yourself after the change has been made. Get as detailed as possible and remember to also feel the emotions of that moment while you imagine it.
It’s almost like you’re planting a false memory in your head. So just as with any other memory, you should be able to be somewhat transported back to that moment when you think about it. Just ignore that voice in your head that says this never happened. Logic isn’t important in this exercise!
Step 4: Become a method actor
You need to emulate the person you want to be as if you already are him/her. Keep telling yourself that you ARE that person and continue to act like him/her as often as possible. Play the character at the grocery store, at work or with friends.
Body language, diction and actions should all reflect how that changed version of you would act. But remember, you are actually being the person, not just acting like him/her. In your head, your thoughts should read “I am confident!”, not “I’m acting confident!”
A really effective option is to choose a character from a movie, TV show or someone you know well that has the trait you wish to attain. This way you have a visual example of how you should be acting instead of having to make it up. My go-to characters are James Bond and Tyler Durdin from Fight Club.
Step 5: Believe
All of the previous exercises are meant to get you believing that you are already that changed version of yourself. Heck you already act like this person on the daily anyways, so what’s to stop you from believing you are him/her?
If you’re still not buying that you ARE the changed version already, go back and practice steps 2-4 more until you do. I guarantee that this will heed faster and more satisfying results than anything else you read about.
But remember, it’s like Peter Pan: you have to believe.
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Magen said on 05.17.2010
Very nicely done, sir! It reminds me of principles posited in the book Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. Very interesting stuff!
Magen said on 05.17.2010
-Oh, that’s how I improved my memory, by the way. I used to say all the time, “I have a terrible memory,” and decided to stop saying that one day. Instead, I started firmly thinking and saying “I have a great memory,” and now I get compliments on my memory quite frequently. : D
Jordan said on 05.19.2010
I know, it’s insane how well this technique works. And it can be applied to literally anything :) You just have to get yourself in the right mindset and stay there long enough for it to take root
mane said on 07.31.2010
@jordan – I must say your web is very interesting, very refresing info :)
@megan – can you be more specific on improving your memory?
Howard L said on 05.18.2010
I really agree with you on the idea that self-improvement can only start with a conscious decision to do so. Wanting to change yourself for the better requires the right mindset and willingness to devote yourself.
And just wondering, but what’ve you been up to since you dropped out of USC? pretty curious as to what such an independent/unconventional life path is like. I wish I could just drop everything and explore the world… unfortunately I’m still stuck in high school with a year left to go, haha. I go to Troy too, by the way.
Jordan said on 05.19.2010
Yup, most people read these types of articles but never have the will or consistency to make the change a reality. It’s really cool that you’re already into self-improvement as a junior; I didn’t even know about it until my freshman year in college.
Well I’ve been doing a LOT of working and a LOT of playing. Unfortunately I’m still here in California, but only because I’ve been so busy building several websites (specifically this one and iphonemerchants.com) that will make traveling almost work-free. That, and my decision to pay off college loans before I go.
I’m happy to report that while I’m staying here for the Summer for family reasons, I’m off to Brazil right after that (August). It’s been a tough year of money problems and businesses failing but I finally have the means to travel the world without financial worry. Considering how much shit I got for dropping out, I’m pretty stoked that it only took one year. So in summation: Life is good, man.
I truly apologize for you still having a year of Troy to go. Academia at that school was so hellacious and, at least for me, not worth it in the slightest. College is for people that want to get jobs and work 9-5. And if that’s not what you want to do, you’ll learn more and in less time by throwing yourself into the real world. It definitely worked for me and I’ve grown a lot from it.
Fee free to email me at [email protected] if you have any more questions — Jordan
SchwerBear said on 05.20.2010
Dude, your blog is like a dream that I’ve had doing for a long time. You have some awesome info. How do you usually finds these things, interest and investigation alone? Im assuming you’ve read the 4HWW havent you?
Anyways, the great info on here has always been entertaining and has brought me out of a dark place. a lil while ago. Good luck with the poly-phasic sleep, Im starting in 2 weeks after schools out. Just one thing I noticed, I read a book about it and actually, most people on Dymaxion take 30 min naps, I actually haven’t heard of people taking 20 mins in Dymaxion. I can send you a book that has a whole buncha suggestions, tactics and facts about polyphasic sleep if your interested.
Peace
Matthew Schwer
Jordan said on 05.20.2010
Thanks man, I really appreciate it. Well I’m on the internet a LOT and I read a lot. Though I must attribute the majority of my findings to StumbleUpon. Since I use it so much, it’s very targeted towards my interests. And yes, I’ve read the 4HWW, but I’m not that big of a fan of Ferris.
Actually I was just reading this other guy’s report on his transition to Dymaxion and he made the distinction between 20 and 30 as well. Though it sounds like eventually my body will decide the exact amount of sleep I need per nap. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d love to read that book; anything to learn more about polyphasic sleep. Shoot me an email at [email protected] and we’ll talk more about it.
- Jordan
Madagascar said on 07.29.2010
Hey, I’ve read some of your articles and I find them very interesting and helpful. I can see that you’re interested in my type of topics. Have you read some of these writers? Eckhart Tolle, Joseph Murphy, Brian Tracy, Dale Carnegie, Sigmund Freud?
Jordan said on 07.30.2010
I’ve read Freud & Carnegie and touched on some Tracy just through a podcast. Any specific recommendations? I’m always looking for a good read :)
Madagascar said on 08.02.2010
Well, you could try Joseph Murphy, ‘The power of your subconcious mind’, Eckhart Tolle ‘The power of now’ and by Tracy ‘Principles of success’ but also many others like ‘Eat that frog’, ’21 laws of money’, ‘Turbo strategy’ etc. Tracy it’s all about effectiveness, a domain that I see you’re interested in.
Jakk said on 07.19.2010
This method has helped me with others issues like talking to the opposite sex & standing up for my self to my friends, and even ended a heavy drug addiction that was destroying my entire life…but for what ever reason I can’t seem to stop biting my fingernails which I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember and do without thinking about it.
Beth said on 08.17.2010
In ancient mystery school studies, there is a 6-word summary for your method: “Act as if until it is.” In today’s vernacular: “Fake it ’til you make it.”
Nothing new under the sun!
JR said on 08.18.2010
Psychological studies have shown repeatedly that visualisation of your desired self does in fact make you more happy, but does not help you achieve that goal. I highly doubt the effect of numerous self-help advices that focus on visualisation and/or believe as a tool to change personality trais.
Your advice may help to change the perspective of one’s self, if it changes the ways of the person itself is highly improbable in my opinion.
Sebastian said on 05.23.2011
Typo on Tyler’s name, it’s Durden, not Durdin. Just saying.
Also, Hello! Just joined this community and I’m very happy to have done so, extremely interesting articles that await further reading and a huge future interest for what’s about to be shared here.
All the best!
Sebastian
gianbest said on 05.31.2011
I have been using these technics in the last years (this one and others from other posts), and they really work!! But unfortunately the working span of time in wich you can be whatever you want to be is limited, mostly by two factors:
1 – Some traits you can’t fake forever! The more the trait you are trying to print in your persona is distant from who you really are, the less time you’ll be able to impersonate that. After an average period, or after some encounter with the same person, your true traits will start to “leak” in moments of unawereness.
2 – It’s happiness-deconstructive to act as a person you don’t really are, for a long period, or during many encouters with the same people. You start to feel less happy and more unconfortable being someone you don’t really are. You can continue to do your impersonation, but it will start to lose purpose.
I few words, IT IS possible to act like a badass, or like the owner of the party, or like the persona you always wanted to be, but it is not rewarding if you try to BECOME that persona all the time.
To improve yourself permanently, you HAVE to stay true to your inner self. Look inside and discover what lies within, THEN work on that. Try to stay more aware of the present, and everything will be ok.