Quotes

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather!

Thinking about a year ago feels like it was just yesterday. Thinking about a year from today feels an eternity away.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

PROPTIP: Think of it less like "walking," and more like "repeatedly stabbing the Earth with your feet.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

I always advocate never creating monsters when there are none. Primarily, of course, because there are none. Boo!