5 grams of shrooms.

1 year, 11 months ago

Last night I consumed 5 grams of shrooms. 2 weeks ago I did the same thing. Same batch. This time though, was incredibly scary. I came face to face with my self. For the first part of my peak I was bursting with excitement and happiness. I could see patterns everywhere. I could feel the importance of all around me.

Then, the patterns started shifting into what I can describe as unwelcoming images. This is where things got scary. I had to be alone. I had no words to say, because I quickly was consumed with thouhts of dread. Dread not for the world, but for myself. I sat in my car, curled up in the passenger seat. My mind was showing me how big of a mess I am. That’s not was I was thinking. I was thinking though, trying to force positive thought. My mind would’t allow it. I NEEDED to feel that way. I was trying so hard to shift this whole trip, but I couldn’t. I was face to face with my burdens. My burden has been myself. I have created my lifestyle. I am the cause to my parents worries, to their disappointment. I have made them feel like bad parents because of my lack of ambition. Still trying to force positive thought, I realize I don’t believe it. My mind is not done teaching me this lesson. My face and arms become numb but not numb. A better way to put it is I felt like I was vibrating. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure if everything would be ok. My friends were tripping, having a good time in their house when I finally came inside. They were worried. They could see it in me. They said I looked extrememly uncomfortable, and I was.

Eventually of course I did start coming way down, so I drove home and went to bed. Now I’m here 13 hours later putting the pieces together. One thing I decided is to not do shrooms again until I make some positive changes in my life. The first change which i actually decided before the trip, is to quit smoking cigs. The second is to quit smoking weed. Third, spend more time with family. Fourth is to make a solid plan for the next year consisting of what I want to do with my life and actually follow through with it.

I thank you for reading this, Wish me luck!

May 14, 2013 at 8:10 pm

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of ELizard ELizard (@heavydreamz) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, good luck. i wouldnt take yourself so seriously. i think your experience was a half-breakthrough because you took the same dose 2 weeks ago. the ego strengthened itself the first time so the second time it was able to fight back against the trip. i say the ‘ego’ because this is your sense of self judging yourself. if you had a full breakthrough you would realize that there is never a reason to stress or worry, it doesnt help anything. you will eventually have to let go of this bad journey to free yourself from negative contraints. take it as a lesson that your mind can go to infinitely dark places if you let the first negative thought in. the secret is to not care, then instantly you will break the cycle and be liberated and empowered so you can make the changes that you want to make.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Eric Eric M (@blankey) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, Yup. Bad trips are not “bad”. In fact, sometimes they are better than “good” trips. They help us enormously.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, That’s what they are for, improvement.

If you have a bad trip, and act like nothing ever happened – that’s a bad trip.
If you have a bad trip, and change for the better because of it – that’s a good experience.

Did you find out what a guitar sounds like on the moon?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of YHVH YHVH (@spaceghost) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@heavydreamz, Well, the trip 2 weeks ago was the opposite. It was very uplifting the entire time. It happened backwards, but I consider it a breakthrough. I don’t need to stress or worry, but I need to be accountable. I think I could be in a better spot in my life so I need to get there, instead of sitting around getting high and not being productive. It was very much a full breakthrough, as I confronted the darkness inside me I’ve ignored for so long. I just feel alot guilt for having such great parents, who see my potential, yet I’m somehow ungrateful to them. I wont go into detail about that but my point is, this experience was a huge wake up call, and an even bigger kick in the ass. I really beat myself up mentally last night.

@blankey, @ijesuschrist, I don’t think of it as a bad trip. I’ve always said bad trips don’t happen. I do however understand what people mean by a bad trip. I needed this to happen. I’m 25 and it’s time quit fucking around. I have to. Most of all, I WANT TO.

@ijesuschrist, I was told you wouldn’t be able to hear a guitar on the moon, then accused of trolling because I wanted proof haha.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of TheSkaFish TheSkaFish M (@theskafish) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, out of curiosity how much is 5 grams? I’m bad with conversions. Is that an less than an eight, equivalent, or greater? This sounds almost exactly like a trip i had a while ago. I was confronted with the fact that I’d done nothing with my life, that I was a loser and the source of not only my own pain and frustration but all of those around me as well. I pretty much imploded. I felt such guilt, that I was just like the crowd I thought I despised, not doing anything exciting or meaningful with my life. I tried to draw, but could not. I tried to reach for inspiration for a story or anything creative, but my hands came back empty. I felt decadent, in the worst way. Just another party kid getting wasted.

Like you, I resolved that the lesson was to not trip again until I have both some achievement under my belt and some higher-consciousness ideas to think about next time. I want to feel like a true wizard!

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of YHVH YHVH (@spaceghost) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@theskafish, It’s an intense way to learn isn’t it? I’m not that surprised it happened, I always learn lessons the hardest way. Guilts a good word to describe it. Have you made progress? If so, what have you done?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of YHVH YHVH (@spaceghost) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@theskafish, an eighth and a half, btw

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, I thought you were trolling. I thought everyone learned that – there is no sound in a vacuum.

You should call it an extreme slap-in-the-face motivational confrontation trip.
mucho betta than ‘bad’ trip. :)

And just to put things in perspective I’ve never had a ‘good’ trip on LSD or Shrooms. Even mescaline was a teeter totter of negativity and positivity.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Matt Matt (@zentripper) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, good luck man, 5 gs is a heroic fucking dose. Only time I tried it I had complete ego death for about 2 or 3 hours, I can’t remember much of it but pretty much time stopped having any meaning whatsoever and all I could do is lay back and listen to the music and every once in a while interject into the conversation with bits of nonsense or singing, lol. Experiencing what goes on behind your conscious filters is never what you expect. Now the hard part is trying to actually apply the feelings that you felt during your trip into your life.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of YHVH YHVH (@spaceghost) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, extreme slap-in-the-face motivational confrontation trip. Indeed. I feel great today.

Is the negativity ever unwarranted for you? I see it as duality. Light and dark. Good and bad. Can’t have one without the other. The positivity I experienced was short but equally as intense as the negativity. All I can do is use the experience as a tool.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of YHVH YHVH (@spaceghost) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@zentripper, I took Terence Mckennas advice in a video. He said 5g was a good number haha. What is ego death?

Applying it starts with just being active. I can’t do it all at once, I have to remember that.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Matt Matt (@zentripper) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, Right on Terrence McKenna’s my shit. I normally go with 3.5 gs lemontekked, but 5 gs was something I wanted to experience. The way I understand ego death is that as the shrooms or whatever psychedelic get stronger and more and more barriers in your mind are getting knocked down, the information flow just becomes too much for “you” to handle. By “you”, I mean your ego, the you that you portray to all your family and friends, the you that you have convinced yourself that you really are, if that makes any sense. When the ego is overwhelmed, is tries to fight back, to make sense of all the madness that is going on in its normally organized world. This is the cause of my bad trips, I think, not being able to accept that the way my ego presented me the world was not the only way it could be perceived or not being able to relinquish control to i guess what I’d call my “true self”, like the inner you that all emotions flow from. So now your ego is fighting the changes, trying to deny them by throwing all these things it considers really important in your face to bring you back to its reality, in your case the stuff about your parents. Eventually, the ego is going to lose and you are going to sink into a blissful nirvana like state where you are simply part of the everything and no longer “you”, this is what I call ego death. It can be pretty scary, but an awesome experience. Then once you’re done tripping and you reunite with your ego, you still remember all the things that your ego threw at you in the death process, and you’re like shit, I guess I do really feel like that.
Sorry for the rambling, I’m pretty baked haha. Hope that explained it.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, This thread makes me happy. I wish you the best of luck…it sounds like you’re about to get awesome :D

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 1 year, 11 months ago ago

@spaceghost, “Is the negativity ever unwarranted for you?”
All negativity shows a weakness to be overcome, I do believe, so no its never ‘unwarranted’.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of YHVH YHVH (@spaceghost) 10 months, 2 weeks ago ago

To be honest the only thing I’ve done is quit smoking cigarettes. That is something.

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic
What can you accomplish in 30 days? Join our site-wide challenge. Challenge Yourself

More Posts Like This

3

Profile photo of LVX The KABALAH!

Since all the threads I have found on this subject are old, I felt the need to make a fresh one dedicated to this most awesome system of ‘Life’ study. Those who wonder what it is, please ask, and those who...

92
141

Profile photo of optimystic You Are That Person

Whom someone else dreams of during the night. You are that person someone longs for to be at their side, at all times, caressing their soul with your sincere affection. You are that person whose laughter elicits a...

75
14

Profile photo of LVX The Darkness

The Darkness Are you tired of this shit? Tired of your safe and mundane existence? Tired of pretending to care? What if you just gave up? What if you just did not give a fuck anymore? How liberating would that feel?...

51
1

Profile photo of LVX H.A.A.R.P. ?

Does this look natural to you? If it is natural then it is still pretty awesome. If it was somehow created by man I think it is kind of scary to ponder what we are playing with. At the moment I have no opinion as to what...

12
1

Profile photo of shi spiritual/intellectual compatibility

So.. it’s been 3 years i am with my boyfriend, he’s very very kind, positive, funny.. and i know he loves me. But recently, i feel like i have changed maybe grown up, because i feel i have spiritually...

0
1

Profile photo of Mikey W Wouldn't you want to live in the matrix?

Why wouldn’t I want to live in the matrix? Please persuade me.

6
5

Profile photo of Mikey W The secret of a beautiful life

Embrace pain with all of your might, seek it frantically with the same intensity with which you seek pleasure. When you find it, be excited about finding it because sooner or later you realize that the power of all pain...

5
2

Profile photo of Greg Flighty Love

Recently I met a girl on a flight. I was flying from Malaysia to Turkey on my way back home to the U.S. I boarded the plane in Kuala Lumpur and from the aisle I saw her sitting next to my seat. I thought it was too good...

0
24

Profile photo of JayHendrix If Enlightenment came with a warning label…

If Enlightenment Came with a Warning Label… So when you heard about spiritual awakening or enlightenment, what was the prize that you wanted in the end? What was the story that got you hooked? Perhaps it was something...

30
3

Profile photo of JayHendrix Memory VS Reality

Reality seems to be structured by intense, unchanging physical principles with the capability of cause & effect, but is it really? Each event seems to remember itself, if you put a comb on a counter, it will...

1
4

Profile photo of jigsaw52 ”He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.”

I find it impossible to follow through with anything but finding and using drugs and alcohol, masterbation and sex. In essence I’m a pleasure seeking animal no better than my cats. The only difference is i’m...

29
2

Profile photo of smbiplob Nature is complicated

Nature is complicated. Its far more complicated than a meager human brain can fathom. I hope you all understand this. It is one thing to say “Things are not black and white.” But it is another to say...

12
1

Profile photo of Mac B. The Intergration of Technology and Nature.

I am like many of you on here, always thinking. Just the other night while on a hit of LSD, i started a vision quest. I started thinking about the future of humanity and how we are starting to live in a time where many...

0
21

Profile photo of Gare [HE 30 Day Challenge] April 2015 – Project or Skill

Hello good people! This month’s challenge is going to be different from the others in two ways: The nature of this challenge will allow you to actually show your progress throughout the month, making it more useful...

79
45

Profile photo of epidemic HOW TO NOT GIVE A FUCK

This post is in deliberate contrast to my JUST CHOOSE LOVE post. I believe in both of these statements. I believe that most people you know couldn’t give a shit whether you are dead or alive & everyone is...

63