a goodbye i never got to say

3 years, 5 months ago

sorry if this is more for me than the HE community, but i’ve gotta get this off my chest i think in order to move on.. thanks for being there all of you, anyways.

We never really got to say goodbye. / Of all of 28 years of my life / you were the single most fascinating thing. // I’ve never seen anyone dance / like you / and i’ve seen a few. // My own friends (an’I like to be with the good folks) / would almost enjoy / discovering you more than they did me. // A good deal younger than me / you were grown up when / I’s still an immature fool. // When and whatever you painted and drew / a paradise shone through / too true to be true. // That peace and warmness and humanity and gentleness and kindness and soul / of a few brushstrokes from you / I swear are truer than all in even this world’s best moments. // I’ve never seen such again / anywhere. Not in van Gogh, Picasso, not in your eyes, not in my soul. // Old ladies would stop on the street / to tell you they could feel / you, the stranger, were a healer. // You’d furiously battle 20 mean college chicks / to defend a single loner from a small insult / and then come home to cry in my arms for an hour or two. // Jung called Joyce’s daughter a singularity / well, she was not the only one. // When you’d dance in a hall / they’d form a circle for you // and when you’d lay with me / I got to share a dance with you.

I’d later meet people who told me / they’d, in your class of 200, / never respected anyone as you / and that they never let it show. // And that you’d shown them how / truthful this life could be lived / as you showed this to me. // My grandmas would call me to say / they couldn’t help being sadder for their own sake than for mine / because they’d lost a very special friend, too. // You’d be crazily quirky ’bout not being forgotten / I found little notes in most peculiar places / on which you’d note your affection / so as to not be forgotten. // You saved so many of your friends / some thanked you, some ran off / but who could’ve managed to save you? // We’ve both been betrayed, abused and abandoned / and it would seem strange / I should be the one to make it through / ’cause, what am I compared to you? // You’d teach me so much I know / I’d like to once hear you say / what I did teach you. // I feel exalted to have known / one could carry one’s spirit, heart and soul like this, / as truthful and warm-hearted as this. // I used to feel sorry that people did not know the good / of my soul, and now i feel sorry my soul / will never be as pure as yours / and will fail to uphold your memory / and do your legacy justice, // although I can’t stand the thought of this treasure getting lost. // You stole 20 pounds of chocalate with me / you went through court trial for me / you fought a war with me / i wrote your theses for you.

And despite all this, / and why, I wonder, / you never managed to believe // that someone or I / could love you for who you were. // You’d be stricken by self-doubt and fear / could never let go of your parents sad legacy. // We listened to Lindgren’s biography / and like the tension between her and her son / begot miracles / that tension between you and yourself / did the same // and I was blessed to share it all. // I just hope / I can manage to do / your memory and lessons justice. // I really do. These were wonderful years, / and I feel sad / not everyone could share them with you // cause I’ve never seen the like again, / and more than heaven on earth / is much more than rare. // Whom or what do I have to beat up / to make you return / and a little more stable? // Thank you for everything, may you be free

August 7, 2011 at 7:21 am

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Wow that’s so beautiful. Really. And sad, but not in a bad way. Life huh, it really is weird and hard at times.

Peace

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Silvia Silvia (@silvia) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

This was amazing to read, I truly appreciate you sharing this. Cheers.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of paul_g paul_g (@paulg) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

thank you all

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Jyrenne E. Jyrenne E. (@usernamher) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

this is beautiful and well-thought and written. thanks for sharing.:-)

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Nikola Atanasovski Nikola Atanasovski (@nikola) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

Truly beautiful. Amazing that something from almost a year ago still pops up and blows me away with its beauty and profoundness

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic

More Posts Like This

1

Paying for college is for the experience not the classes.

Hey everyone. So my name is Chris and I actually found this website yesterday. I have been on it non-stop today in between my crazy college schedule. I have found a lot of people who are posting about how bad college is!...

14

Suggestions for a site-wide HE 30 day challenge?

Starting in February, we’re going to have monthly 30-day challenges! We had a very successful challenge years back when the discussions were first added to HE. It’s time to revive them! Which challenge should...

3

Hey People. I Love You

Hey People. I just hit my head kind of hard in a totally embarrassing way that involves my dog, a laptop, general clumsiness, a coffee table, and a bit of gravity. I’m going to be fine, I’ve had worse than this. Just...

1

Not sure what to do next?

I am 21 years old and recently extremely depressed with my existence. I’m not sure where I am going, or why I have ended up where I am in life.. I’ve always had a close group of friends who mean the world to...

1

General Grammar, Logic, and Rhetoric. (The trivium)

Is there anyone here who are interested in these topics as a means of self development? The reason i am asking is that it would be interesting to make a group of people to cooperate in order to excel at these subjects....

1

Stomach pain when smoking marijuana

I was just wondering, if anyone of you is also experiencing strong stomach pain when smoking weed. It usually happens to me on a peak and the pain usually goes through my whole upper and lower and even lower sides...

22

What single change would have the MOST positive impact on the world?

Could be societal, political, economical, etc. In other words, if we could only change ONE thing about the world to better our lives, what should it be?

1

Buddhism alongside Christianity

I am interested in practicing Buddhism. I believe in God and always will, I also believe Jesus is the son of God. I just want to take the path less traveled. Is it possible to practice Buddhism and still have Christian...

1

Band Names

So my friend is obsessed with trying to find a name for his band, they just finished doing all their recordings, but still can’t settle on a title. Here’s how he describes their sound: A lighter style...

1

Embrace Your Surroundings

So a couple months ago I read this beautiful and amazing book titled Ishmael. A very special friend suggested I read it, and it completely changed my outlook on Western culture and our modern civilization. I recommend...

1

Yoga-Meditation music

Hello everyone, I need your help, The last month I find good music in HE. This is the link: http://www.highexistence.com/links/view/above-beyond-burning-man-2014/page/71/ I really love this song, but I’m horrible...

1

How to Suck at Life and Totally Waste Everyone's Time.

step 1:Argue with everyone Step2: Always argue Step3: Be an ass hole for fun Step4: Post videos and links to prove a point Step5: Do all of the above while on this website

3

Sleep paralysis , OBE, lucid dream

I just had my first sleep paralysis, obe, ld. it happened out of nowhere and on a sober mind. I wanted to achieve lucid dreaming for so long and it finally happened! Im super excited! Even tho the sleep paralysis wasnt...

1

Red Rover Red Rover is education over?

To begin I would like to forewarn you that this is not a rant about the current education system (which I believe most people here view as flawed), rather a niche topic not really discussed. People earn an education to...