A letter to a friend
@donjaime23, I have no idea what that means.
@filipek, It seems he took it the way it was intended.
It is mostly, if not almost exclusively, a matter of social conditioning. But on the other hand, of course society does not create anything at all on its own, it just amplifies what people feed into it, so human nature is behind it all.
This is the approach that I use in real life as well.
Sure there are some people who think they can see this stuff through text on a forum, but they’re merely projecting their own imagination onto other people. Strawman syndrome, as we saw such a prime example of earlier in this thread.
That, and, people aren’t assuming that everyone’s a dickhead in real life. On the internet people usually do, because a lot of people become total fucktards when they communicate on the web, and many people respond by assuming that anyone who gets a bit “offensive” is one of those fucktards.
That’s not the case in real life. I get great rapport from most people, a lot of people open up really well. And there’s very little drama.
That may also be partially due to culture, as I’m not in the US where it seems the national sport is taking offense.
The web is a whole nother game.
@manimal, Please reformat for the love of god. I have no idea who is saying what in your original wall o’ text.
edit: I realize it’s all your letter to him.
You are very good at berating your friends! I can see why people pay you a premium for it. :P
How is your motivational speaking stuff coming along? When you talk about “bringing him on,” was he trying to become involved with the philosophy/how to live your life courses that you are developing?
@tine, I don’t necessarily think it was helpful, but he has already done it. Besides he isn’t asking us if what he did was right, he is asking for our discussion on the topics he brought up. I agree with you that for the most part you shouldn’t tell those things to a friend, that is why I have held my tongue a lot, but I don’t think we are in the position to judge whether or not Manimal is helping his friend or not because we don’t know the circumstances.
@manimal, Great post. I used to fall into the trap a lot of blaming external sources for my shortcomings and failures, if not consciously, then subconsciously. But it’s really how I interpret those situations that determines how I act and what happens. Blaming is really just not believing you have any control over your life. It takes away all personal power. In a way, I think you could say anxiety is a form of blame. Depression is a form of blame. I don’t think I could firmly state everything in your OP with conviction at this point though. If I may ask, what exactly is Manimal (as in the group)?
it has everything to do with the thread, you are trying to paint the illusion that what you said to him was for his benefit, that you were ‘so-in-the-right’, the truth though, based on what you actually did, said, your actions, is the opposite.
the end does not justify the mean — you are lying to yourself if you believe this is true, this is a dangerous path to traverse my friend, you will find yourself neck deep at some-point
also, i feel the need to point one last thing out, i’m sry, i am going to use an expression that is often used over the internet, i understand that such slang is probably beneath you, but i feel it encompasses how i feel perfectly,
(( — yumadbro? — ))
hhrrmm? remember what you said to me in the ego thread? well, you said a lot, so here is a refresher,
—- WHY would I want to learn from some random schmo on the internet ….. That’s why you cannot teach me anything, just like the dojo master doesn’t learn from the beginners. I am already a couple steps ahead….. People who just want to think they’re smart/right. People like you. —-
remember, i am just some ‘random schmo on the internet’, you are ahead of me, i only think i am smart/right
so, if you truly feel like i am without wisdom, i have nothing to say, that everything i say is ridiculous, — why then do your actions say otherwise? –
why paragraphs of communication? why the need to pick apart everything i say?
remember, i am just some internet schmo who knows nothing,
why not ignore me like you do a lot of people? why not dismiss me like you do with other people?
(( it is a contradiction that you still feel the need to comment despite me being nothing ))
if what you claim about me is true, this is what you would do,
– you would ignore me –
and you would let
– everyone see for themselves how ridiculous i am –
(( — yumadbro? — ))
i only offer an opinion, like he does with everyone else, if he can’t handle a differing opinion then he shouldn’t offer his own all the time, he can take or leave what i say,
as for the post, it pained me to see him taking credit for something he didn’t do, he acted like all those things he said to his friend were for his friend’s benefit, he justified attacking and tearing his friend to shreds,
and everyone is here saying, “O, good job manimal, way to tell him”…. no, he shouldnt have told him that, him telling him that reveals he isn’t his friend in the first place, manimal had to ego lash back instead of giving his hurting friend some grace
fuck that, that’s such bullshit, it’s so slimy and disgusting to try and disguise his behavior like he was doing something good
@birdflyinghigh, It’s my speciality haha.
I’m no longer on that project, I had too much to do for a while, a friend of mine took over and he does it better.
@mikeyw829, Just a group of guys doing the “human potential” stuff, empowerment, liberation, illumination, all that jazz.
@tine, I don’t deal in justifications and such bullshit. The ends are the means, the goal is the starting blocks.
I love that expression, but it’s not appropriate here. Anger is for suckers, making sure to get a point across is not anger, it’s a logical decision.
Why I reply to you? Because I want to help you, like I’ve already explained a shitload of times. How daft can you get?
If you think I was being mean to the dude you’re fucked up. Others see what was going on, but you’re too obsessed with giving the ego some “grace.”
Not a stupid fucking socially conditioned weakling needy egomaniac brainghost.
–Why I reply to you? Because I want to help you–
lol, this is always your excuse, here, let me clear something up so you are no longer confused, i do not want your help, i do not need your help, how you respond to reality shows nothing but selfish interest, i am not into this approach, i accept that this makes me inferior in your eyes
so now that it is known your help is not wanted, you can leave me to my ignorance,
“If you think I was being mean to the dude you’re fucked up. Others see what was going on, but you’re too obsessed with giving the ego some “grace.”
this is completely mind blowing, you truly think that by tearing someone apart, viscously, is the best approach? you think grace is weak? you think a kind but firm approach is inferior?
(( can you not see what this says about who you are? ))
mind blowing, simply mind blowing
you are excusing your initial reaction to someone attacking you and making it appear like you said it for his benefit, if you believe what you said was out of friendship or his betterment, then you have bought into your own ego illusion
and remember, i do not need nor desire your help, therefore you should have no automatic need to respond to someone so confused and ignorant
@tine, I can’t say whether or not it was done out of anger or what Manimals true intentions were. But that is besides the point, we should focus on what he was saying and if we do there is a lot we can take in and apply in our own lives.
Everyone falls into the trap of blaming others for their problems and sometimes you need a wake up call to realize that it is our problem, not theirs. In my life the times that I have really looked at myself and realized that I was being a bitch and blaming my circumstances on others was when someone had the courage to tell me.
So for that reason I like the post that @manimal, created.
–No, I’m not here to ask for advice on how to deal with it or anything like that. It’s actually about my reply to it–
is what he stated at the beginning, just because what i decided to talk about in his reply was not what he wanted everyone to focus on, does not mean i am off topic
“In my life the times that I have really looked at myself and realized that I was being a bitch and blaming my circumstances on others was when someone had the courage to tell me.”
indeed, did they belittle you, talk down to you, hate on you in every possible way, to help you out?
this is a horrible example manimal provided, i agree that we should not make excuses, i disagree with manimal thinking this is an example that shows how good he did, can you not see the real reason he posted this? he wanted everyone to see it, plain and simple, he wanted everyone to see how good he ‘got’ that guy,
this is proven by, ” I’m not here to ask for advice on how to deal with it or anything like that”, he is not here for any other reason,
his excuse reason was the justification he said, he was helping his friend, i am arguing the core, that he was not helping his friend, that in fact, what he said hurt his friend and how this reveals manimal in the circumstances
no one talks to a friend that way, thats how you talk to an enemy, i don’t care what illusions manimal tries to create to cover this
@tine, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small people discuss other people” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Why are you turning everything into a personal drama when the rest of us are discussing the topic?
Hungry for attention or something?
You want no help? Fine, your loss.
I wasn’t tearing anyone apart, what I was tearing apart was his ludicrous claims and beliefs. That’s all I do.
What’s up with all these misplaced words and crazy grammatical contradictions?
I am very kind. Just not YOUR kind.
Not everyone is as selfish as you, keep that in mind.
All you’re saying is off topic nonsense, it has nothing to do with the letter or the subjects of disccusion, it’s all personal accusations. Get a grip.
If I wanted to show someone “how good I got that guy,” I would take a case where I did in fact “pwn” someone, reveal names, show pictures, etc. Not just show an informative email.
Ripping off a bandaid hurts, pulling bullets out of your body HURTS, shitting out your constipated turd FUCKING HURTS.
When you build yourself into a fortress of shit, the only way out is to dig through the fucking shit. When you build a fortress of nettles, the only way out is through the nettles.
All great things are paid for with pain.
I wouldn’t talk to an enemy like that. If I have an enemy, I will break him down, lock him in his head, feed his self-destruction, add more shit to that fortress, more nettles, more sweet sweet comfort. Then I’d strike when he least expects it.
What I’m doing here is the exact opposite.
And I know it works. I have the experience, the knowledge, the facts.
You have only your projections. Tragic little boy.
lol—- see, you can’t help but respond,
(( my previous ((– yumadbro –)) point has been proven ))
thank you sir for being as predictable as i expected
@tine, Troll HARDER.
You know, flooding and trolling are the kind of things that define an idiot, and also gets them banned from forums.
You may want to rethink this.
Or someone will step in and do it for you.
you are not even addressing my point, your words are the typical smoke and mirror illusions you usually lay out, like calling me a TROLL when the only crime i have committed is dare disagree with you
so funny, i am glad everyone gets to see you exposed like this, so they can start to see through the deception that is you
–You know, flooding and trolling are the kind of things that define an idiot, and also gets them banned from forums.–
ooo cool, you are threatening me, i’ll tell you what, lets have Jordan look at our conversation and let him decide, in fact, i’ll let him know there is an issue, thanks for this
So, now that the TROLL seems to have calmed down, I’ll go ahead and bump this.
@manimal, I have a feeling that the fact that you had to write this letter in the first place probably means that none of this will get through to the guy. I know the type, it’s just going to piss him off to the point that none of it will get through to him.
But you are my friend, and I wish the best for you. I want to help you, but I can’t help you if you won’t let me.
This seemed out of place to me. If the man (I’m assuming he is grown) really is all of the things you say he is, why not just cut the cord? Why offer anything? I hate to sound negative, but people that are like this, and already adults will almost never change. But out of curiosity, how old is he?
@cadeus333, It got through, we met yesterday to talk this shit over, and he’s in.
Why not cut the cord? Because he’s a friend, and because I don’t just give up on people.
@manimal, Age has a lot to do with a lot dude, I don’t want to get hung up on that. He is still young, and still has a chance to start taking responsibility for himself and his actions.
I don’t normally give up on people either, but it has happened and I’m sure it will again. You really made the guy out to be completely worthless, irresponsible and on top of all that, a real dick. I can only go on the letter that you shared and I sure didn’t see many redeeming qualities, hence why I said “why not cut the cord?”. I know you’re not me, but I wouldn’t waste my energy on someone like that.
Apparently he isn’t a complete ass though, and you guys have worked things out. That’s really great man, and I wish you both the best of luck, especially you, because you could very well be the guide your friend needs to really grow up and start taking responsibility for himself and his actions.
@cadeus333, It’s never too late to change.
As for no redeeming qualities, I wouldn’t say so. The message was focused on errors, of course it doesn’t give a full representation of who he is.
I appreciate the support, man.
@manimal, so basically… you dont post the original letter your friend sent you, rather just saying it was “very aggressive and condescending”. The original letter could have said anything, but of course we arent allowed to view it and make our own judgement on it, just take your word for it. Then you proceed to say you dont want advice, just want to show off how you can insult someone. Then you proceed to write a letter that allows you to brag about yourself while put the other down at the same time. Then, to top it off, you post your reply online so you can show the rest of the world how cool you are(in your own words). Take any opportunity to stroke that ego, eh?
I’m really worried about myself now. I feel like I am that person in your letter. Basically all those things you apologized for, I feel like I did too. The bad things I mean. Except I don’t really blame anyone else but me. I’ve been lazy and stupid and I know it. I just don’t seem to be able to fix it, and it sucks. Oh well, here’s to ignorance!
@yoinkie, Why would I spend that time translating a message that has no value, and make the post more that twice as long?
Where did I brag or say that I’m cool?
Take any opportunity to spew hatred on internet strangers, eh?
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