Accept what you are never going to be or keep hope?
I have come to somewhat of a contradiction in my thoughts of life and ways of living. On one hand there is the idea to "find peace with yourself by accepting not only what you are, but what you are never going to be" which I really like and think is true. However to me that somewhat goes against having hope and striving to make it against the odds.
So where do you draw the line?
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Life is telling me to just give up, that I’m going to be just another mediocre guy who works a shitty job, comes home, eats, gets drunk, and repeats. There are times it seems almost predetermined but I have to escape, I just can’t take that for an answer.
Whatever it is you want to do, keep aiming high!
Thanks for the words nospoon. Seems that you are more for accepting your life and who you are. I think it is harder when you are not in such a great situation “spoiled with richness” as you say to be happy with everything and not strive for something better.
Your very welcome. One thing I have been thinking about is going to live in a poor part of India where there is a total change of your life and see if can be as glad as I am today without all the stimulus around me. To be there and see if the feeling is real. See if it is independent or if it is based on the life here.
To know if it is my attitude or if it is this world that makes me happy. We will see, I am far away from doign it now. As the thought grows we will see. One thing is that the life here will always be here so I would still have this safety and that I think is less good part of it. Right now I feel that I am quite bounded. Now this is getting off topic.
A great thread and I am happy to share my thoughts!
Uhhhh I think you’re question isn’t asked properly I mean you can paraphrase as false hope or true denial? of course you draw the line where you can accept with relative confidence that a dream is unobtainable. Since when the heck is it healthy to try be something you possibly can’t be but perhaps pursueing it to the best you can should be good enough ;) I think both is required of course to be content with yourself as well continue to develop as a person!
It’s a hard line to draw. Obviously you should give up hope of being in the NBA if you are 4’11″ and can’t shoot, but there are some things you make think are impossible that actually are.
I am not an expert in this subject. What I tend to do is: I have goals and things i want to develop with myself. As in not being present in more being in the future. Then I try to accept life and live to the fullest in the movement. For me it is about finding your own balance in developing yourself and living for the moment. This is my thoughts right now.
@nospoon – I understand and I think that is what most people would say but I think this can be hard sometimes and it would prevent you from acheiving complete happiness as you will never be fully satisfied.
If you keep striving to be the best and having that goal of a life that would be so much better than what you have now it can be hard to truly enjoy what you currently have. I am very appreciative of what I have but because of the possibilities, I can have up and down emotions about it on occasion.
Hm. interesting question. I think there are things that one THINKS they will never be able to achieve but can, for instance losing weight/bulking up. I used to think i would never be the “athletic type” until something just switched in my head.
But if it IS something that you really will never be, for example a different ethnicity or height, I think you should ask yourself WHY you want to be that in the first place and where that unhappiness comes from. Ask yourself why the you isn’t good enough as is.
@breathe, as you learn yourself better you won’t need to ask this question. Being the best version of yourself means not trying to follow a path that you have chosen, but one that was chosen for you. You have only one trajectory; it’s unique to you. Don’t worry about anything else but finding it and staying true to it. Keep banging away at here-and-now opportunities as more of the puzzle will be slowly revealed. The rest of life is bullshit anyway. Trust me on that. Trust yourself with knowing yourself. Trust God for the trajectory. Trust no one with your car.
@Andy – I don’t think life is that black and white that you can simply decide if something is realistic or not. The examples you gave are but endless amounts of things are not. You can’t simply know what you will never acheive and what you will.
“Everybody’s a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein.
What does that tell us? It tells us that you can’t do everything. There are things you’re meant to do, you’ve been designed to do. And there are the things that you’re not meant to do. Try to find out what it is that you’re meant to do. What do you want to do? What makes you happy? How’d you rather be? What’d you rather be?
Difficult questions? Start off with simpler ones. Look around your room. Is it clean or messy? Which way would YOU want to have it? Then make it that way.
Juice or cold drink or cigarettes? Study in the daytime or study at night? Go out or stay home? Have a shower or go to sleep or talk to someone? Eat with family or eat alone? Watch a movie or read a book? Lie down and listen to music or get up and dance to it?
Ask yourself simple, double/ multiple-choice questions throughout the day. In this way, you’re practising how to draw the line. You’re deciding what it is that you want and then acting upon the decision. This will help you in sorting out bigger and more important priorities. Once you’ve determined what it is that you want or want to do or want to be, try to do or be it. It is useless having no hope. Do strive in achieving the goals you set for yourself. Think about what it is that you’re meant to do and then go do it. The sky really is the limit. If you achieve your goal, you’re successful. If you don’t, you’re wiser. You now have one thing, on the list of things that you think you’re meant to do, crossed out. Try another. Make lists. Plan stuff. Weigh pros and cons.
Don’t forget: ‘It is pardonable to aim high and not able to achieve, but it is not pardonable to aim low.’
I agree full happiness I am not sure from where it comes. It might be you are not attached to anything and just having the extraordinary feeling that makes you feel so full of the incredible lightness of being.
Then I am so interested in learning new things and to be a part of this world meet all those different people. Being here every great day of this life. Have all those things around me. I don’t think that this is some sort of ultimate happiness. I do know that I am so fascinated by this world and to make a change in other peoples life around is such an experience I would miss.
I wouldn’t say I am striving to be the best in anything, at least not now. I have been there. Today I am more of to learn new things to enjoy it. I do think I tend to be more focused on “doing” things instead of “being”. That I seem to go too far in developing myself instead of finding joy around me.
I don’t have a definite set of goals, found my bliss(haven’t searched that much though). Then if I am fully satisfied why should I do things or more likely why do we do all these “unnecessary” things at all.
One things I remember as Dan Millman wrote in his book “The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination ” and “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” John Lennon
I don’t know what life is about more than that I am full of thankfulness of being here. (I live in a western country and would call myself spoiled with all the richness I got here.)