So, there is a reason I am up this late on HE when I have to be up for work at the crack of dawn. About six months ago I decided to go back to school to get my bachelors degree. I noticed I was having trouble with my concentration and energy level almost immediately, and I know what you might be thinking, “suck it up bro”. I was saying the same thing for about three months and I dealt with it the best I could while trying to juggle work (60-80hrs a week) and a newborn that rarely sleeps through the night. As you can imagine it wasn’t long before my grades, work and mood started to deteriorate.
Back when I was in middle school I was diagnosed with ADD and prescribed adderal, it helped me immensely, I did very well all through high school until I graduated. I decided that I was not going to go to college right away but pursue my passion which was music. I got off the adderal without any ill effects and pursued music for the next five years lol (I only intended it to be one). Long story short living my dream turned into a nightmare (non lucrative music carrier & drug addiction. After I had enough and got my act together I went back to school and got my associates and got a decent job (without the assistance of adderal).
Now I am back in school and have been taking Adderal for the past three months and the difference has been undeniable, my grades and work productivity have improved greatly. The only problem has been my sleep, on most nights I’m extremely lucky to get 5 hours. My wife has taken a lot of responsibility as far as caring for our daughter in the middle of the night but I still have a lot of trouble sleeping.
I went back to the doctor and now she has put me on sleeping meds, this shit is just getting crazy, I feel as if I am a drug addict again just with legal drugs. I need a drug to focus and stay awake and I need a drug to counteract that so that I can get decent sleep and not feel insane. Now the doctor wants to put me on anti anxiety and anti depression med. What the fuck? I am freaking out, I don’t want to be anymore medication, I don’t want to be on any medication period but I also don’t want my grades or work life to suffer.
I’m in a real pickle and I have no fucking clue what to do about it, it’s driving me crazy. I could really use some advise, I know there may not be a clear solution but I would really like to get some other peoples opinions on this. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I’m sorry it was so long.
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Damn. Can’t say I’m in a similar situation, but I will concur that adderal works miracles.
Also, I am no doctor, but I do NOT think relying on drugs to make you awake/sleep is a good idea. I actually thought about a future man in a hundred years having a normal life like that, and how that would be just absurd. Crazy.
Sounds like you have your plate full. The semester should be almost over, so I would find the time and energy to finish strong with that, and then reassess the situation. You know why you need sleeping and anxiety pills. Make it through this semester and then adjust your schedule so you don’t rely on drugs.
It’s good to stay busy, but you need to take a little off your plate. Academics, your job and your family are important, but your health and sanity should come as a priority. Otherwise, you can’t handle any other responsibilities.
“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there within me lay an invincible summer.”
Best of luck to you.
6 mg melatonin @ijesuschrist, I totally agree with. Just as long as it takes to get back into a regular sleeping pattern. Otherwise your brain stops producing precious melatonin on its own! XD
@cadeus333, Well do you plan on decreasing your dose or not? There is no reason to take it every day. Take it when you need to study, before an exam and maybe during and that is about it.
Taking it daily is dangerous and damaging to the receptors in your brain, and that isn’t a joke. You don’t want to be part of the generation that finds out it completely fucks you when you’re 50, do you?
Be smart, evaluate yourself.
@cadeus333, I cannot completely relate to your situation but I too was diagnosed with ADHD and am prescribed Adderall. However, I hate the shit. I will admit it does wonder for concentrating and my grades totally are better when I am taking it consistently. But I find it suppresses my personality, my appetite, and makes it impossible for me to sleep. I now only use it when I am in a bind and try to use more natural ways to help my focus. By doing things like eating healthy, exercising, drinking a lot of water, and getting enough sleep and for the most part it works plus I feel a lot better about myself and life.
@ijesuschrist, what do you mean by “don’t fry your brain”?
When I use it to study a lot I find my brain is fried afterwards, but I always thought it was just information overload, considering that happens to me off the drug.
@ijesuschrist, When I posted this I was taking 20mg once in the morning and once in the afternoon (as I was prescribed). Since then, I have cut it to 10 in the morning and 10 in the afternoon. I can definitely feel the difference, I don’t get the same boost as before but I am still getting the benefits. I initially wasn’t too happy about the decrease but my body has adjusted pretty well, my appetite is much better and I don’t have as much trouble sleeping. My daughter still doesn’t sleep through the night and that affects me but as I said, my wife has been wonderful with picking up the slack in that area. Overall, decreasing the dose has been nothing but an improvement especially with my mood.
I have decided to put the my next semester off until things are a bit more stable with my daughter. When the semester is done I will drop the Adderall altogether and My hope is that when I do go back I won’t have the need for it, as I will have much less on my plate.
I really want to thank everyone for all of the concern and feedback I have received, these past few months have been hell for me and I am grateful to have a place to come and get positive feedback and advise. There are a great deal that I do not feel comfortable talking about with my family and/or friends from work. So, thank you all again. I cannot tell you you all how much I appreciate everything.
@mcr513, I had planned on going right back to school next semester but I think you are right, I have way too much on my plate. When my wife and I found out that we were going to have a child, I knew I would have to go back to school so that I could advance in my carrier and provide a more comfortable life for my child but I did not foresee any of this happening.
I like to be busy and productive but this is too much. My health is definitely deteriorating and it is showing, people at work have noticed that I have lost weight and have been asking If I am feeling ok because I don’t look well. My mood is terrible, I have been very volatile towards people that I supervise at work and especially my poor wife. I feel terrible no one deserves the attitude that I’ve been dishing out especially not her, she is an absolute angel and I have been absolutely terrible towards her.
I really pride myself on accomplishing the goals I set for myself in the time frame I set for myself but something has got to give. None of it will mean shit if I have a nervous breakdown or fall asleep behind the wheel and kill myself.
I really appreciate the advise and kind words, I am having a really tough time and I’m glad I have an outlet like HE where I can feel comfortable sharing this kind of stuff because I really don’t like to talk about it with too many people.
@mcr513, More adderall you use, the less your brain functions normally without it. The synapses die, hence why people end up “losing the effects” after prolonged use.
Small quantities is key with amphetamines. Or one and done.
@totempole, My health is really suffering, I have been very good about taking care of myself up until the last few months because I literally have NO time anymore. On top of the sleep issue, I am not eating enough and I am not eating right. All of it is definitely taking a toll.
@yoinkie, See, Adderall is the salt of amphetamines, Adderall is highly addictive, but more mentally than physically, you begin to depend on it. It can also fuck up your mesolimbic pathway, which can make you REALLY depressed. The thing is, it just kills your fatigue in a way weed cannot.
@cadeus333, My advice to you is to eat, Adderall really kills your appetite, that means you aren’t getting your main source of energy from food, you’re getting it from drugs, my advice is to try to eat more and wean yourself off of adderall, and as for the sleeping, I wouldn’t mix adderall with sleeping pills EVER, sleeping pills are depressants and adderall is a stimulant, so you’re going to be having an irregular heart beat all throughout the night, which means you’ll never go into R.E.M. sleep, which means you’re mental health will start rapidly deteriorating. My advice to you is to eat more, try to stop using Adderall and sleeping pills, and get sleep whenever you can, I know it’s going to be hard, but if you truely can’t live without adderall for the time being, try cutting your dose in half and eating breakfast lunch and dinner every day.
@cadeus333, WOW. Your situation is waaay too familiar. And yes, it is really scary when you feel like you might, or about to, spiral out of control.
Like you, I was put on Adderal in high school, got off it in Uni, school suffered, transferred/kicked out three times, felt completely lost, went to rehab. After rehab, I took a year travelling and found myself, went back to school… had to get on Adderal again. And just like you, was evenutally put on Lunesta – which Lunests in particular I found out is a big no no for people with history of drug addiction, which made me switch doctors.
The new doc, kept me on Adderal but was SUPER strict with my intake and I really had to trust her and myself to follow directions and not take more than needed when needed. Was put on Rozerem for sleep but we had a concrete gradual plan to get off it until I only had to take melatonin for when I really needed it. My doctor worked with me in all areas – got me in a program – meditation (this really helps me deal with day to day stress) and yoga and got me really involved in sports. Basically, she had to retrain me as a whole. By the way, I’ve been off Adderal for over a year (occasionally I’ll take it, big presentation that needs to be finished, etc). Anyway…. I find it that on days I don’t meditate or do yoga, I am not able to sleep well. And on days I don’t run or swim or bike I can not focus. Also my diet seems to affect my day to day mood too. I know you’re super busy and barely have time but all you really need is 10-20min to meditate adn another 20mins to sweat. I know I’m not really helping here but what I’m trying to say is there is really a way out of the damn cycle… I live my life wholisticly now. I got lucky I found a doctor that was willing to work WITH me and not on me.
Also, I am not against smoking (I smoke) but aside from the money factor… do you really want to be stoned around your kid on the rare times that you are given your busy sked?
@yoinkie, I do smoke but nowhere near as much as I used to (probably twice a week if i’m lucky) but when I do it does really seem to help. I would smoke for often if it wasn’t for a few different factors. I spend most of my time at either work or school and I don’t like to be high for either, it makes me too scattered and I don’t want to look all high (mostly for work, I could care less about being high in school).
The other is money, I make decent money and am probably being a tight wad but I have a lot that I need to save for and a shitload of bills. Lastly is my wife, she absolutely fucking hates it and would flip even harder if she found out that I was spending any significant amount of money on it. Don’t ask me how I married a woman who feels so strongly about weed, it was originally one of the things that I was attracted to, her innocence. She is Peruvian and has never so much as smoked a cigarette in her life lol. Looking back I probably should have thought that part though a little bit better.
I hate hiding things from her so I might just have to sack up and let her know what’s up and that there isn’t too much room for negotiation. If you never see me on HE again you’ll know why lol.
@cadeus333, Used to be on the same ferris wheel. Almost all of the western approach to medicine is symptom relief. It masks the underlying causes and just treats the symptoms. Most people willingly submit to this since they don’t like to have control over their lives.
The basic mentality is: “I’ll spend my life watching TV and sitting in a chair, now I have high blood pressure. All I have to do to get better is take a fucking pill, while I continue to live my same lifestyle.” It’s madness. The sad thing is people think drugs like this are the key to a utopian future, but all they really do is allow people to go on living in the same exact way for longer periods of time. People become weaker, not stronger, not more independent. Not really sure how doctors are that stupid, but whatever. Yes, this is good when you have a gunshot wound or acute illness, but not for things like “attention deficit,” which is most likely caused by the type of thinking (and the society created around it) that is trying to get rid of it in the first place.
There’s a reason you can’t concentrate. There’s a reason you can’t sleep. Ultimately it’s up to you to uncover it. Build up your natural powers of concentration. Adderall will only degrade them.
@cadeus333, I sufferend from severe sleep insomnia a few years back. It got to the point where I couldnt sleep at night, even if I had an extremely tiring day, and went to bed stress free. I just couldnt sleep, I would lay there for hours, catch a 10 minute nap, and get snapped back into the awake world. I got prescribed sleeping pills which was the worst thing that could happen. It cured my insomnia, but I literally couldnt function the next day. I would be tired all day, lack motivation, and found that memorizing and focusing on school work(this was during my time in college) was sometimes impossible. No matter how much I studied, the sleeping pills would drain my brain while I slept and I was too tired for memory recall the next day. I was on them for a couple months and saw my marks fall in all my classes.
I then quit them completely and started smoking at night regularly. I didnt like being high during the day either, because I liked being productive. I would smoke late at night(probably an hour before I wanted to sleep) and would relax, eat then go to bed. I would knock out in 10-15 minutes every time, and wake up completely fresh. Ive been doing that ever since, and see no negative effects in any part of my life, except for the occasional late night good binge. Marijuana basically helped me graduate and get into the grad school I always wanted to go to. waking up with energy and being normal was the absolute best part. I felt like a zombie after sleeping pills.
Cant really comment on your girlfriend situation, I havent found a solution to negativity towards my smoking weed either. I barely ever smoke during the day, its only a reward for me after getting all my shit done during the day, and only when I have time to relax at night. As far as the money thing is concerned, I would invest in a vape. They are quite expensive to buy, but they will save you in smoking in almost a month. Vaping will cut down your marijuana smoking by more then half, a 40$ sack that use to last a week will now last you 2-3 weeks. Also, you dont even have to smoke as much, only 1-2 hits will give you the relaxation feeling. And I feel that 1-3 hits is all you need for marijuana to fight the insomnia anyways. Its also a great counter to most drugs, including Adderall.
Im not saying this to be some stoner advocating weed, im saying it as a person whose life was genuinely made better because of weed. I wouldnt be where I am now without it.
This is absurd. I don’t understand why would we ever distribute adderal in the first place if it is so detrimental.
@generaltitsvonchodehoffen, There is no denying adderal significantly improves your concentration and increases your energy. Why do you think somebody would be considered weak if they took it due to a lot of pressure from responsibilities?
@vinabeans, There are a lot of people that can relate to this sort of thing, the never ending cycle of prescription meds. Taking medication to counteract the side effects of the medication you are already on, so fourth and so on. It’s ridiculous.
My semester is almost done, then I will be finished with the shit all together. As far as the weed goes, no, I don’t want to be stoned around my daughter at all. I’m not a kid anymore and my actions have consequences that they did not used to. So, I won’t be smoking to treat the adverse symptoms of the Adderall. If I smoke (which I rarely do) it will be when I have my own relax time, separate from my family time.
Thank you for the advise my friend and I’m glad to hear you are off it.
@yoinkie, “Im not saying this to be some stoner advocating weed, im saying it as a person whose life was genuinely made better because of weed. I wouldnt be where I am now without it.”
I didn’t think that at all dude and I really appreciate the advise, I have gotten similar advise from other people including my brother and it is something I am very seriously considering. I’m sure my wife would prefer that I take 1 or 2 vapes and be able to sleep and eat normally than deal with the monster I’ve become lately. It’s absolutely fucking terrible.
I hate the sleeping pills, they have the same effect on me the next day even after I take the adderal in the morning, so most of the time I’d rather get 3 hours of sleep than take the pills and be in a complete haze the next day. I’m doing it tonight, it’s almost 2 in the morning here and I am not the least bit tired. I’ll be lucky if I get 2 hours of sleep tonight. Some bud sounds fantastic right about now. I might just have to pick some up tomorrow after work, look at the prices of some vapes and worry about the wrath of the wife later, or at least deal with it until the end of the semester. Any vapes in particular that you would suggest?