So, there is a reason I am up this late on HE when I have to be up for work at the crack of dawn. About six months ago I decided to go back to school to get my bachelors degree. I noticed I was having trouble with my concentration and energy level almost immediately, and I know what you might be thinking, “suck it up bro”. I was saying the same thing for about three months and I dealt with it the best I could while trying to juggle work (60-80hrs a week) and a newborn that rarely sleeps through the night. As you can imagine it wasn’t long before my grades, work and mood started to deteriorate.
Back when I was in middle school I was diagnosed with ADD and prescribed adderal, it helped me immensely, I did very well all through high school until I graduated. I decided that I was not going to go to college right away but pursue my passion which was music. I got off the adderal without any ill effects and pursued music for the next five years lol (I only intended it to be one). Long story short living my dream turned into a nightmare (non lucrative music carrier & drug addiction. After I had enough and got my act together I went back to school and got my associates and got a decent job (without the assistance of adderal).
Now I am back in school and have been taking Adderal for the past three months and the difference has been undeniable, my grades and work productivity have improved greatly. The only problem has been my sleep, on most nights I’m extremely lucky to get 5 hours. My wife has taken a lot of responsibility as far as caring for our daughter in the middle of the night but I still have a lot of trouble sleeping.
I went back to the doctor and now she has put me on sleeping meds, this shit is just getting crazy, I feel as if I am a drug addict again just with legal drugs. I need a drug to focus and stay awake and I need a drug to counteract that so that I can get decent sleep and not feel insane. Now the doctor wants to put me on anti anxiety and anti depression med. What the fuck? I am freaking out, I don’t want to be anymore medication, I don’t want to be on any medication period but I also don’t want my grades or work life to suffer.
I’m in a real pickle and I have no fucking clue what to do about it, it’s driving me crazy. I could really use some advise, I know there may not be a clear solution but I would really like to get some other peoples opinions on this. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I’m sorry it was so long.
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@cadeus333, WOW. Your situation is waaay too familiar. And yes, it is really scary when you feel like you might, or about to, spiral out of control.
Like you, I was put on Adderal in high school, got off it in Uni, school suffered, transferred/kicked out three times, felt completely lost, went to rehab. After rehab, I took a year travelling and found myself, went back to school… had to get on Adderal again. And just like you, was evenutally put on Lunesta – which Lunests in particular I found out is a big no no for people with history of drug addiction, which made me switch doctors.
The new doc, kept me on Adderal but was SUPER strict with my intake and I really had to trust her and myself to follow directions and not take more than needed when needed. Was put on Rozerem for sleep but we had a concrete gradual plan to get off it until I only had to take melatonin for when I really needed it. My doctor worked with me in all areas – got me in a program – meditation (this really helps me deal with day to day stress) and yoga and got me really involved in sports. Basically, she had to retrain me as a whole. By the way, I’ve been off Adderal for over a year (occasionally I’ll take it, big presentation that needs to be finished, etc). Anyway…. I find it that on days I don’t meditate or do yoga, I am not able to sleep well. And on days I don’t run or swim or bike I can not focus. Also my diet seems to affect my day to day mood too. I know you’re super busy and barely have time but all you really need is 10-20min to meditate adn another 20mins to sweat. I know I’m not really helping here but what I’m trying to say is there is really a way out of the damn cycle… I live my life wholisticly now. I got lucky I found a doctor that was willing to work WITH me and not on me.
Also, I am not against smoking (I smoke) but aside from the money factor… do you really want to be stoned around your kid on the rare times that you are given your busy sked?
@vinabeans, There are a lot of people that can relate to this sort of thing, the never ending cycle of prescription meds. Taking medication to counteract the side effects of the medication you are already on, so fourth and so on. It’s ridiculous.
My semester is almost done, then I will be finished with the shit all together. As far as the weed goes, no, I don’t want to be stoned around my daughter at all. I’m not a kid anymore and my actions have consequences that they did not used to. So, I won’t be smoking to treat the adverse symptoms of the Adderall. If I smoke (which I rarely do) it will be when I have my own relax time, separate from my family time.
Thank you for the advise my friend and I’m glad to hear you are off it.