Advice?

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Zykanthos (@chodebalm)    1 year, 9 months ago

I’ve noticed that all one has to do is post something about needing advice, and people will be on it like flies on shit.

There’s a big different between sharing thoughts/opinions and giving advice. Thoughts and opinions are possibilities. Advice is still thoughts and opinions, but with advice comes the intention of guiding. We give our thoughts and opinions with the intention of guiding someone to a conclusion which is only true for us, and not necessarily going to be true for the person asking for advice.

What is it with humans and giving advice? Why are we so eager and willing to give it? Personal advice is cheap. There’s hardly any value in it. Yet threads asking for advice are the ones that get the most attention.

This site is like Facebook but with more intellectual material. You’ve still got your advice givers and people who want their views to be heard (let’s face it, we all want to be heard). Facebook is nothing but people shouting our their opinions as if anyone else really gives a shit. The difference between this site and Facebook is that on here people don’t have a status update option.

I understand it’s human nature to want to be heard. We want to want to feel important, and to want to feel accepted and approved by others.

But honestly, when are we gonna drop this? When are we going to let go of our need to feel right and our need for approval from others?

You always see threads on here about the ego, raising our consciousness, blah blah blah. Then we pretend like we know all about it and that we’re not ego people.

Yes we are. Let’s stop lying and pretending we are. We are all ego-based. Some more than others, but we all are to a certain extent.

It’s time to take responsibility for ourselves and stop pointing fingers and acting like it’s everyone else who’s blind. When we talk about a fucked up society, it’s not a society which doesn’t include you. It DOES include you. So we can stop pointing the finger and saying we had nothing to do with it and that it’s everyone else who needs to “wake up”.

When we blame “society”, it’s the same as blaming another individual. You’re deflecting the blame away from yourself and creating separation. You ARE that society. You are just as much at fault as anyone else. I accept my part of the blame. Do you accept yours?

Anyway, thanks for reading. Just wanted to share my thoughts.

7 votes, posted 01.18.2013 at 9:14 am
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Avatar of Kidd
Kidd (@kidd)1 year, 9 months ago ago

Lol, I want to say something but I don’t know what to say other than “I fucking love this post,” so I keep refreshing to see if anyone else has said anything that could get my gears working but instead the “hearts” for this thread just keep going up (which doesn’t help)…

Seriously, you have me speechless. I fucking love this post.

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Avatar of Sasho Stoyanov
Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chodebalm, This is true. It’s part of interacting with other people, getting to know them while they get to know you, so some connection is made, and situational advices happen depending on the level of need (or desperation) behind them. And you get to choose from where or whom specifically to get your advice from. I don’t think accepting blame should be good idea though, I’m better off just accepting bad advices.

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Zykanthos (@chodebalm)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@beyond, Yeah you’re absolutely right. And you know what’s most ironic about people who ask for advice? They usually only accept the advice that supports what they wanted in the first place. Usually they’re just seeking reaffirmation of their own opinions.

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Avatar of Zykanthos
Zykanthos (@chodebalm)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@kidd, Lol! Glad you enjoyed. I wasn’t sure how this would be received.

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Avatar of Sasho Stoyanov
Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chodebalm, What’s also interesting is where the advice givers got their opinion from. But anyway, how can you blame even a bad advice if it’s genuine and backed up with legitimate experience? In most cases it really is for reaffirmation, but in the end, experience is the only thing that matters. But on your regard that personal advice is cheap, I have a different view. For example, I’d value more the personal experience before asking for a “professional” one, because I don’t trust authorized and self-labeled titles and reputations alike. I can’t be sure of their future credibility, but I can hope for it for their personal pleasure. :) On the Internet prevails the Murphy’s Law that “those who can – do and those who can’t – teach”, so I agree with you.

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chodebalm, Sorry, but I can’t fully agree with this. Maybe I didn’t understand your post. I feel like I can’t brain today. I probably has the dumb :)

But seriously.
Someone asks for advice. People give advice. What’s so bad about this? Please explain, because I don’t get it.

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Avatar of Ray Butler
Ray Butler (@trek79)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chodebalm, The difference being that because of threads like this we can at least be aware of it.

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with seeking out advice, so long as the recipient does not rely exclusively upon it. Let’s face it, people are needy. They demand attention. And most of the time they’ll devise crafty methods to receive it. Others, also clamoring for attention, will be eager to provide it for others, in hopes of receiving some back. Whether it’s messed up or not doesn’t really matter, because it’s going to happen regardless what anyone thinks about it.

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

But I do have all the answers…?

“So we can stop pointing the finger and saying we had nothing to do with it and that it’s everyone else who needs to “wake up”.”

This. We’re all sheep and we will ALWAYS be sheep. We are forever pushing the boundaries of what we know. In 100 years, HE will look silly in comparison to the self-improvement groups out there, and our pace at doing any change will be shadowed. We are part of some awakening, but awakening has been happening since the dawn of man. Hence why we aren’t still eating raw buffalo and dying from cold weather (for the most part). So we’re not some incredible spur of imagination and unfounded philosophies, we were expected. And just like the past, other groups and paradigms shall out sprint us and take over.

You do know, however, that your post was basically a pat on your own back, an ego boost, making the whole logic of the post circular and redundant, though, right? You’re pointing your finger at people giving advice, but then are giving advice on how things should be…

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Avatar of Sasho Stoyanov
Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

People are actually preferring HE for advice which should be good for the community and their egos. @trek79, Therefore the irony again.

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Avatar of Zykanthos
Zykanthos (@chodebalm)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, I disagree. And I knew that’s how someone would take it. Sooner or later I figured this comment would come. I accept my part of the blame in this. But this was not my attempt at giving advice. This was an attempt at shedding some light on the matter. My only advice was to take a look at yourself and accept responsibility for your part. And by “you” and “your” I mean everyone in general, including myself. My point was not to give out advice. I think you see the point of the thread though.

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Avatar of Zykanthos
Zykanthos (@chodebalm)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@flightfacilities, I’m not saying there’s anything bad with giving advice. It’s not good or bad. It is what it is. The point I was trying to illustrate was that we should all take advice with a grain of salt. Filter it through our reasoning and common sense. Apply it in our lives where necessary. But as I said….take a look at advice threads vs other threads which try to inspire new ideas, theories, new technologies, etc. Advice threads are far more popular than any other thread. Why is that? Because everyone wants to be heard. It’s human nature to want to feel worthy. This isn’t a bad thing. But you’ll find most of the time that people who are asking advice will only be satisfied when they receive advice that agrees with and reaffirms what they already thought.

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

Just opened HE and read the title and thought ‘For fuck sake, another one!’ But no, it’s quite a good thread.

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Avatar of Ray Butler
Ray Butler (@trek79)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chodebalm, The best we can do is give opinion and maybe an example, but ultimately the goal of a person seeking advice is to get the fullest picture and understanding on an issue that they can, before using their judgement for what makes most sense for them to choose to apply.
Also, ego affirmation is not the only motivator, people are lonely, like to make friends and talk about stuff, helping each other when we can is mutually beneficial. Ego is a big factor but just plain logic for the benefits of appropriate behaviour can’t be dismissed either.

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Zykanthos (@chodebalm)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@trek79, Very true. And good points.

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Zykanthos (@chodebalm)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@piptherational, Lol! I didn’t see this until now. That’s pretty funny.

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Ben (@cognizantelephant)1 year, 9 months ago ago

I agree. Some people take the things they learn and actually attempt to learn from them, while others preach about what they think they know. We all handle information in different ways. But you are basically enforcing a moral attitude towards how we deal with what we know, is that cool? I don’t know..

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chodebalm, I like the post! Thank-you for your words. I like the way you stated: “Thoughts and opinions are possibilities. Advice is still thoughts and opinions, but with advice comes the intention of guiding. We give our thoughts and opinions with the intention of guiding someone to a conclusion which is only true for us, and not necessarily going to be true for the person asking for advice.” Well said. I may read a book that really knocks my socks off, speaks to me loudly and actually impacts my life. So, I think that EVERYONE should read it so that they too may be led to that which I gained. Then you get a copy, open it up, get bored the first 2 pages, thumb through other pages and it absolutely does not “speak” to you at all. No such thing as uncontaminated advice, I suppose. But yes, speaking for only me and my ego(which is trying to sound so noble), I can see sharing experiences with others here, inquirers and commenters alike, and letting them take and leave what they may. I stop at ever saying to someone or telling someone that they “should”, “must”, or “have to” do this or that. Just not in my nature anymore. Thanx, again! Peace, Love & Light ~ ricky

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