am i a bad best friend?

3 years, 8 months ago

so me and my best friend were discussing the other day. We were going around and saying our faults and good things about us. and he said that I was clingy (what!). He was like we don’t have to eat every meal together and I don’t have to sit next to him every time. I didn’t even realize that is what I was doing until he pointed it out…and it was true (how embarrassing!) he pointed out that it made it seem that i wasn’t secure in our relationship as friends. It is true just because we aren’t by each other 24/7 doesn’t mean we aren’t important to each other. It was like a slap in the face really, and i guess I was being clingy. what I am asking is your opinion on that, and what you would do to not be so clingy? I have my ideas. Actually it is obvious what I should do but I want to hear other peoples opinions on the issue.

04.01.2011 at 4:46 am

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Profile photo of Daniel Daniel (@stockton) 3 years, 8 months ago ago

Just do what you wanna do— if he happens to fall into those plans, then so be it; if it happens to be that he does not, then so be it. Don’t try so hard, my friend. Just go with it.
I could say just avoid him, you know, but that doesn’t solve anything. It’ll get weirder from there.

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Profile photo of mario mario (@mario82) 3 years, 8 months ago ago

You are a good best friend

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Profile photo of Matt Matt (@mrgeetah) 3 years, 8 months ago ago

I think the fact that he felt comfortable enough telling you that you’re clingy speaks for itself. Obviously you’re a good friend because you can talk about each others’ flaws.

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Profile photo of Eva Phoenix Eva Phoenix (@veenix) 3 years, 8 months ago ago

“I didn’t even realize that is what I was doing until he pointed it out…” It’s a part of who you are and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your friend just needs space, like some people do. Nothing wrong with that either. Don’t be so hasty to change what you see as a “failure in design” you’d be surprise how some people appreciate that quality.

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Profile photo of Ryan Wood Ryan Wood (@ryryok1) 3 years, 8 months ago ago

thanks a lot! this is all really good stuff :)

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Profile photo of Krish Jagirdar Krish Jagirdar (@koin3190) 3 years, 8 months ago ago

Find the depths of value within you. He is your best friend like you are his. Recognize your worth man!

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Profile photo of Lanette Lanette (@lbryant90) 3 years, 8 months ago ago

All good points, it’s great that he’s comfortable enough around you to let you know! However, just because somebody want’s space doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Nobody controls how they feel. Just give him some space, maybe branch out more! Can’t ever have too many friends! :-)

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Profile photo of rpearson rpearson (@floatinlotus) 3 years, 8 months ago ago

It’s ok for you to be who you are, clingy or not. Clingy has a negative connotation generally, but it doesn’t have to if you don’t accept it about yourself that way. The question you should ask yourself is are you really insecure..is that a valid point of causation..or is that just who you are? If it is predicated on insecurity then it might require some attention on your part, if not, acceptance of yourself is all that’s needed. It does say a great deal about your friendship that he can point that out without placing blame. Or was he?

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