Anger.

3 years, 4 months ago

I am filled with relentless fury.
It swallows me whole, and I am consumed, completely controlled.
Rage is the essence of my soul, my core.
Anger, it cradles me; I am a slave.
It brings out a pain so dark and deep…
I am layered with emptiness, pain, and anger.
I struggle to control it,
but when it becomes unleashed, I succumb.

I need some relief.
Please.

November 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm

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Profile photo of luigi luigi (@luigiblue) 3 years, 4 months ago ago

Love it.

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Profile photo of Renee Renee C (@themorning) 3 years, 4 months ago ago

Hazel,

I’ve always struggled with anger as well. I would get so frustrated by something it would turn into severe anger or even rage so quickly I wouldn’t even know how I got there. I think a combination of things have been helping me. Firstly meditation of course calms the mind and allows me to view my thought patterns. After doing this for a while and seeing the feedback loop that is our thinking mind, I started to look into my childhood and see the patterns there that formed me into a certain personality. A personality with a lot of anger and sadness. I concentrated on these things, making sense of it all, and let it go. I released it and forgave myself and the world for everything and everyone that had seemingly caused me pain, but keeping in mind that I am in full control, and always have been. I simply needed to remember.

Fury still lingers, though no one could tell from the outside. It doesn’t come around so often anymore, but right now I am also making at a habit to repeat “always with understanding first” in my mind when it reacts negatively to someone. I have to remember that my reality is not shared with anyone but myself, and I cannot see or understand the reality of others. It is real to them, this is real to me, and I have no reason to get angry about others reality. I hope this helps. Could you get a bit more specific?

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Profile photo of Renee Renee C (@themorning) 3 years, 4 months ago ago

That flows really nicely. If you are actually asking for help, I can definitely relate.

I’ve always struggled with anger as well. I would get so frustrated by something it would turn into severe anger or even rage so quickly I wouldn’t even know how I got there. I think a combination of things have been helping me. Firstly meditation of course calms the mind and allows me to view my thought patterns. After doing this for a while and seeing the feedback loop that is our thinking mind, I started to look into my childhood and see the patterns there that formed me into a certain personality. A personality with a lot of anger and sadness. I concentrated on these things, making sense of it all, and let it go. I released it and forgave myself and the world for everything and everyone that had seemingly caused me pain, but keeping in mind that I am in full control, and always have been. I simply needed to remember.

Fury still lingers, though no one could tell from the outside. It doesn’t come around so often anymore, but right now I am also making at a habit to repeat “always with understanding first” in my mind when it reacts negatively to someone. I have to remember that my reality is not shared with anyone but myself, and I cannot see or understand the reality of others. It is real to them, this is real to me, and I have no reason to get angry about others reality. I hope this helps. Could you get a bit more specific?

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Profile photo of kim kim (@ominka) 3 years, 4 months ago ago

sometimes to really get higher than that is to let the beast do some damage. when you get caught in a spiral of complete anger, i feel like you need to let out the fire to put out the fire. but nothing detrimental to yourself or others. i’d take it out on some hardcore drum playing, truth to be told :)

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Profile photo of Renee Renee C (@themorning) 3 years, 4 months ago ago

Drum playing is a good one! I want to try that. Running, or doing some kind of at least moderately intense working out helps A LOT.

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 3 years, 4 months ago ago

Get a sandbag, punch and kick the shit out of that thing.

Playing an instrument works great too. Especially drums, bass or guitar with lots of dist.

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