Anyone have any suggestions?

2 years ago

Hey guys I’m curious if anyone is, or has experienced, the issue I’m going through. I’m also curious if anyone has any suggestions.

I’ve found that within me I am utterly confused about my current situation. I feel torn between two options. Though I’m confused why I’m torn? I feel that every time I think about it every fiber of my being is saying to do one thing.

However, I can’t seem to do that one thing. I almost feel as though there isn’t something I’m accounting for. Like subconsciously I know something that I consciously don’t. You could almost say it’s a gut feeling.

Now I’m confused. I want to do both, but I can only make one choice. When I make a choice I want to follow through with conviction.

Does anyone know how I can figure out what is causing that gut feeling?

I’m debating paying some money and seeing a psychologist. I’m hoping they can help me figure out my own thoughts better. Though, I’m in a place in my life where I don’t have much disposable cash to go see one.. So any suggestions would be uber helpful ^-^

December 30, 2012 at 1:24 pm

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Profile photo of E.C.F. Doyle E.C.F. Doyle (@chekovchameleon) 2 years ago ago

” I feel that every time I think about it every fiber of my being is saying to do one thing.”@travisad,

I’d say do that thing, unless it hurts somebody or is detrimental to yourself, it is clearly what you want to do, the gut feeling is just fear, probably. But it is very hard to tell because the post is pretty vague. So the only solid advice I can give you is do the right thing, by yourself and mankind.

Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years ago ago

@chekovchameleon, “peace”


I think you are fighting seeing a psychologist because you do not trust that the psychologist will know any better than you do.

It is a very good instinct to only take advice from those whose advice you trust – and what have you seen to think that a psychologist could fix what was wrong? They might leave you more confused.

I think that you want to see a psychologist because you feel that you need guidance. At the same time, you intuit that the proper guidance might not be found with a psychologist. Now ask yourself, what are your other options? @travisad, you will need to take action to get out of depression whether you are working with a psychologist or not.

Profile photo of Sandy Sandy (@sandman) 2 years ago ago

Hard to comment on the vague choice, but… perhaps it’s too soon for this move right now. You may have stumbled onto an idea or opportunity or choice that is more appropriate for a later point in your life. So, you’re drawn to do it, but it feels wrong at this time.

(Then again, as Barbara Sher says, “Anything worth doing is worth doing TOO SOON.”)

If it’s a choice between two paths, maybe you can do them sequentially. Do you want to be a pastry chef or a doctor? My niece did both, just one at a time. What if you live to be 80 or 100 years old? You’ll be able to take all kinds of paths, just maybe not all at the same time. You may have a lot more time than you imagine.

I agree with @chekovchameleon of course – only do something that is not harmful to yourself or others. We need everyone’s positive contribution in this world! Especially from people like you and the other folks on this site, who are awakened to their own power.

Profile photo of TravisAD TravisAD (@travisad) 2 years ago ago

@chekovchameleon, Thanks for the suggestions. I apologize about the post being vague, I didn’t want anyone to feel one way or another about it by specifying what it is.

@birdflyinghigh, I’m not fighting seeing a psychologist. I’m pondering if going to one would assist me in figuring out what my thoughts are. I’m hoping they can help me figure out why, even when it seems every fiber of my being is screaming for one thing, that there is still such a large part of me that is fighting in opposition.

I didn’t really think about it making me more confused… oh man..

I’m curious what you’re saying when you ask about my other options? Are you asking if I have any other options in this situation?

Profile photo of TravisAD TravisAD (@travisad) 2 years ago ago

@sandman, my only issue is that I can’t really do them in sequence. One is staying with the girl I’ve been dating, or leave her. So many things push me away, but a part deep down within me feels like we will get through this? Not much has changed but I haven’t been happy for the last year or so…

How long does one wait before they know something like this? How long does one keep pushing on when they are finding less and less reasons to keep holding on?

Not trying to air my dirty laundry or anything. Just trying to figure things out :3

Profile photo of CaoimheS CaoimheS (@caoimhesweeney) 2 years ago ago

@travisad, if you aren’t happy in your relationship, and you haven’t been for that long, I wouldn’t stay. It may become toxic before it gets better and it’s a lot harder to work out a toxic relationship.

Take a break to find yourself, remind yourself who you are outside of the relationship and ground yourself again. Then, once you’ve done that, think about the relationship and whether you want to go back to salvage it or move on.

That’s what I’d do anyways

Profile photo of Sandy Sandy (@sandman) 2 years ago ago

Only you two can figure it out, but the most important thing is cultivating an atmosphere where you’re working on your problems together.

There are so many options in life, it often seems easier to flit from one situation (job, school, home, mate) to the next. But there’s depth of experience that comes from staying with something through the rough patches and plateaus.

If you’re a team and can support each other’s growth with respect and love, then the sky’s the limit. Don’t expect every single moment to be easy and fun. It takes work. But it’s good work.

Profile photo of TravisAD TravisAD (@travisad) 2 years ago ago

@caoimhesweeney, I’ve been in the relationship with her for over 3 years now. We signed on a house together..

I wonder how I could approach her in the way that I need to have time to figure out who I am without her thinking that I’m breaking up with her?

@sandman, Thanks for the advice. I know that relationships aren’t easy. We’ve had our fair share of rough patches that we’ve made it through successfully. I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t want to be with her anymore. Something within me is pulling away with enough veracity that it’s causing me to want nothing but to run, not walk, away.

She isn’t who I got with originally. Honestly, she’s reminding me a lot of my father. My father is the furthest thing from what I want to be when I’m his age. My father is also the absolute furthest person I’d ever want to “lay” with. Which could explain why sex with her is seemingly becoming more and more a chore..

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