This is a place to talk about your self and to get things off of your chest. It’s always nice to have someone to listen and to ask for help so that is what this is for. Go ahead and talk about whatever you need help with and we will all pitch in :)
Coming to terms with your issues and set yourself free!
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For the majority of my young life I have listened to what negative things others would say about me, and I have believed it, even worshipped it. I have been wrapped up in my own “reality”. I have made myself a victim, and hidden away from my life. I have tried in vain to control my own existence so as not to get hurt. I have tried to prepare for every kind of experience, so as to not get mentally or physically wounded, and this has kept me from doing what I really wanted to do, and kept me from the core of existence which is to experience new things with an open mind. I have been more dead than alive. More ignorant than happy. I have been narrow-minded. I have been overly sensitive. I haven’t been able to realize how to be happy, how to create my own bliss. I have let other people lead me in directions and not taken control of my own life. I have tried to blame others for my misery. I have not valued my own life. I have been so angry with myself, life, others. Because I didn’t understand and I was scared. I have been in the prison that is my mind in the state it is in when I have been alone for too long. After realizing this, I have become open. I trust my own instict, judgement, myself. I am more able to see other people’s point of view, and realize when I am being unfair to myself. I am now able to receive love and support from others, and not push it away. I haven’t felt like I deserve love, and it always seemed to me others were so much happier than me. I could not understand why I wasn’t happy. I have been trapped within myself. I was so fragile, and I let other people’s insecurities affect me, so I withdrew into myself for many years. I love my ego now, because it makes me more of a resource instead of the burden I used to feel like. I love myself, and I love others, and I am no longer afraid of the things that used to keep my trapped. :) To conclude: I haven’t been able to understand others because I haven’t been able to understand myself. Wow, feels good to share. Thanks.
@rickvonstar you may find that you can relate to people more than you think you can. We have a lot more in common with one another than we think that we do… we just don’t always choose to share the personal experiences that make us so similar. In my opinion, you sholud try opening up to someone. Share a secret with a friend or family member you are close to and maybe you will be pleasantly surprised by their reaction. I really do believe that human beings exist for each other. We would have nothing without one another and it is important to make an effort to connect with each other. It really is exciting and fun :):)
@jaymeh Hi, nice to meet you! perhaps the reason you are alone is because you have chosen to be. Please don’t misunderstand though, let me ask you some questions: Are you shy by nature? do you tend to engage in activities that involve staying at home e.g. art, songwriting, reading? would you ever sit next a stranger in class and start a conversation? do your friends introduce you to their other friends?
I don’t doubt at all that you are a good person…but that is separate from being alone.
Unless…would you say you have been in bad relationships and friendships even though you have done all the right things and you cannot understand why you end up alone?
Really glad I saw this post yesterday, cause I really need it today :P
I’m pissed. Dissapointed and frustrated really. Basically, at the end of last year I could finally say I got over this breakup that took me about a year to get past. So having felt I was once again rooted in myself, I started taking an interest in looking for a girl again. I didn’t wanna rush or force anything, i just felt I was ready so I’d keep my eyes open. I pursued a couple girls who I liked, failed cause I got too close to them and they just saw me as a friend, but then realized it was all good in the end cause as I got to know them better it became clear we were better off as just friends anyway. But then this girl who I had met once before ended up in a couple of my classes. I had never gotten to know her before; always said hi if I saw her around but never had any actual conversations. After talking to her a bit more over a couple weeks I realized she was fuckin awesome. She loves philosphy, especially shit like Buddhism/Taoism, listens to great music, is a tree hugger like me, and is just so much fun to be around. I jump the gun, and tell her I like her way too soon cause I was afraid if I waited too long I’d just get friendzoned again. She says she’s not at a point where she’s looking for a relationship but she likes hanging out with me.
After that I gave up for a little while, but then towards the end of the semester she started seeming like she was into me. I was almost certain about it, and was still very much into her. But since it was the end of the year and soon enough we’d be seperated for a couple months I figured it’d be better to wait until the beginning of this semester to ask her to lunch, or whatever other kind of first date. So over the summer we’ve texted a lil bit, talked on facebook, and the mood is always cheerful with lots of smileys and !!’s. But yesterday I see that now she’s in a relationship with this guy who lives near her hometown. And it just fuckin sucks, cause I was really lookin forward to something awesome finally happening for me after a couple years of not even having kissed a girl.
This morning I knew I’d get a TUT message from the universe in my email. I was hoping for some guidance. It said that the “home runs” in life almost never happen when you’re looking toward the future, but if you work a little moment by moment on bettering yourself, that’s when they come to you. That struck me, and was really exactly what I needed. Cause I realized I’ve spent almost this entire summer so focused on looking forward to being with her. And I realized that I had been doing the same thing with other girls even before I had really started to talk to her. Its hit me that in my pursuit of a relationship I never REALLY took the time to do what exactly will get me there the fastest, which is take a little time for myself and chill on that whole part of life. It always amazes me how much life is like a goddamn Chinese fingertrap. It still fuckin blows though, cause now I feel regret for not having done that sooner, cause I know me and this girl could have really had something great together. But at the same time I feel like feeling regret for anything is kinda stupid, because it’s my belief everything happens at the exact right time you need it to to learn the lesson you need to learn. What I need to learn is to give myself some time, and then trust the universe to bring me a relationship when I’m ready. But I’m just pissed and a lil jaded I didn’t do that sooner.
Again, thanks for this thread. I needed a little place to vent this stuff. I know what I need to do, but still any comments or advice would be appreciated. In alot of ways I know I’m a smart, confident muthutrukka who’s gonna make life awesome for myself. But it’s days like these that I see how much I need to work on certain parts of my life : /
@jaymeh, :) I think its awesome that you’re taking the time to read and reply to everyone. Especially my long ass post haha. And anythings possible, so I guess I’ll try to stay close but not too close to her. After meditating on and thinking about this for a bit longer I think I’ve realized that this pursuit of a relationship kind of motivated me to make changes for the better in myself – everything from excersising more to doing yoga to eating better to reading more. But now I see that I need to make this motivation for positive change independent of a hope for a relationship. Thanks a ton for replying and making me feel better!
@sabas4, Abso-freakin-lutely my man, and i’m so glad you see eye to eye with me on this! My dreams are the guiding force for my life, they decide what I’m doing next and where I’m headed. My friends all take the safe route, a.k.a. (“the route that makes sense”), and work whatever job they’re offered that pays them the salary they desire. For me, a simple salary is not enough, and will never be enough. Unless I am doing what I love to do for a living, I will simply not be satisfied, whereas they will do whatever it takes to get payed a salary they want to be paid. My motivation is simply not affected by money in the way it is for my best of friends and it causes a huge conflict. I have a hard time trying to see eye to eye with them on their life situations because of their heavy drive towards monetary compensation.
@sabas4, yes! I get totally weird because inside I’m trying to decide whether to smile or not or what to say etc. It takes me a while to get used to people and start being myself. I have heard many times that people hated me when they just met me and then slowly started to change their opinion about me. Do you get that as well?
@staringatstars, maybe your life feels like a loop because it is a loop, most lives are. Most people, I’m talking about most of the people in the world create there past over and over again, but why do we do that?
I have an answer for you, we are programmed to do that, it’s a habit to do that, the reason I know this is because off this man: Bob proctor, he showed me something that changed my life forever, I have the links to the 3 video’s right here:
Link 1: http://youtu.be/9oYbZtUrz7g
Link 2: http://youtu.be/NI4ic6swL84
Link 3: http://youtu.be/WA155xP384U
Hope you enjoy the video’s
much love paradigmshift30
@searchingforthetruth, @immagoner, its not like I’ve had a bunch of bad life experiences that make me bitter/cold towards people. It’s probably the opposite, honestly most people seem to me (with the exception of this website and chance encounters here and there in “real” life) like animals.
For example, if I try to talk to the average person about mystical experiences I am likely to just be stared at.
Alright, I’ll try to be myself and get things off my chest.
I can’t seem to be myself when I have absolutely nothing to get off my chest because I can actually express myself and get shit done. And I fucking hate that people are so fucking pathetic and don’t acknowledge that they’re the only ones guilty of their bad situation. My eyes hurt from your bullshit! So here are two songs related to the topic.
Is there are previous situation or event that happened that hold you back?
If so try to deal with accepting that situation or event so you can get over it and move on. That saying “When one door closes another opens” explains this perfectly!
If that isn’t the situation I can kind of relate. Whenever I get the chance to make new friends I have second thoughts and hold myself back. I’m trying to work on this and I have discovered something, giving people a chance never hurts.
Also when I hang out with new people at first I’m shy and backwards, but to tell you the truth all new people are like that because you aren’t comfortable with those people yet. I’d say if the first hang out goes well and you think “hey I want to be with these people more.” then go for it! The only way you are going to get comfortable around these people is if you are around them more and after a few hangouts you won’t even remember why they were awkward!
@dwun81, Yup, we’re definitely on the same page here! I see how the pursuit for more money has changed my friends and it is absolutely disgusting. Sadly, I feel like they have lost touch with themselves completely and wouldn’t even know what dreams they have buried deep within them. I guess I try really hard to avoid serious conversations with some of my friends who just annoy me when they talk shit about money, life and relationships (hahaha I know its harsh but I need to vent!). It would have been really tough for you because they were your room-mates and you had to deal with them every day.
I think people passionate about the Arts (acting, singing, dancing, art, design etc) are much less motivated by money and are instead motivated by the need to express themselves no matter what the cost. To be 100% themselves and to let the talent ooze out of them; thereby working ‘inside-out’. Whatever comes after that-it is what it is! Whether it’s fame and fortune or just enough money to pay the bills. It does not matter. Those are the people you want to be associated with. You’ll find plenty of those kind of people as you build your career. If I lived in the US, I’d be up for a coffee with ya :) For now, stand your ground when your around those friends. Just appreciate the company you have with them, but don’t take their views on life too seriously. At least thats what kind of worked for me. Funnily enough the more supportive friends are the ones I’ve recently met at gigs and singing class.
@jaymeh Hey! Lately I’ve been feeling bored with everything, I want to find people that make me happy but I just don’t feel comfortable with anyone expect a few people, I want happiness I used to have before but I don’t really know how to get it back.
I just helped someone out with a similar problem on here… except I can’t remember which post it is on haha so I will just re-write some things…
Okay I told the person to go home and make a list of things you like doing…. this can be things you like doing by yourself, with your friends, or with your family.
From that list make another of the things you like most about those activities.
See I’m pretty sure that second list is going to have some unique things on it :)
But to tell you the truth I think you do have those events right now but your just having/going through a hard time in your life with drugs and parties. Sometimes when we are in dark places it is hard to see the light. Maybe you should try to limit your drugs and parties…. then maybe who you are will start to become clear.
I know you are your own person and I have all the faith in the world in you! All you have to do is start trying to become who you want and then all the blocks will fall into place.
@dwun81, That might honestly be the best advice I’ve heard yet. I think if I found a way to be more confident in the positive outlook I have on the world, I would not be beat down by other’s attitudes. Instead, I could possibly change their attitudes. I just need to find this confidence somewhere within me. Occasionally, I feel as though everyone is so critical of each other that it really discourages me.
So, I completely see where you are coming from in your situation. I really commend you for having the guts to follow your heart. You made your heart happy by following your true passion. And I know that it seems so hard that your old friends don’t seem to understand you or the way you feel about life. I have come accross that a lot.
My best advice is to go to more places, events, whatever that have a higher likelihood of people who are more accepting of others. Get involved in something that does good for others. Maybe Habitat for Humanity or volunteer at an animal shelter. Those who are very willing to give back have good hearts, and are always open to new connections. Connections that are real and might satisfy your desire for a true friend who will listen to you and you can learn from.
Until then, stay strong. People can be so judgmental, but look at everyone posting here. You’re not alone.
Hope that helps (:
@studentlamo, Hi! I’m sorry to hear about the break up. So you were doing ok up until recently? What made it skydive? Was it memories of the good times?
@ARCANUS, Aw I’m glad you feel better. You’re very sensitive by the sounds of things!! So am I! People always confuse that with weakness! You are not weak! You’re thinking is deep and you ask yourself many questions… your just overwhelmed by the magnitude of yourself, your life, your worth, your feelings. Because you don’t have any answers you brokedown little. But now you are learning and understand and that’s what brought you to HE! Well done mate! Do you feel like everything Is clearer now that you understand how Devine you are? :)
I can imagine that’s tough if your mostly interested in having deeper conversations that most people don’t usually have. My closest friends that I relate to and have conversations like the ones found on this website with started out as shallow acquaintances, but as I got to know them better I became more comfortable with asking them what they thought about religion and dreams, etc.
@benjamin, I’ve realized that every shared complaint is only prolonging the negative effects of it, I don’t have to be smiling like an idiot to be optimistic so I could actually find a solution to my issues. And usually when people have a problem they have to search for solutions to solve it somehow, not just retell the story and relive the drama.
Although yeah, pure expression is a great release. I needed it too, that’s why I shared that. :) Right now my left eye is swollen and hurts when I blink, but I’m the only one I would blame for that, even if I don’t know how I got it, I’m the main reason for having it. I just prefer to blame myself for my own bullshit and I avoid doing it in front of others to save them from that bullshit. And it’s better to learn from these issues, get the lesson and help others, complaining never helped anyone.
Also, getting stabbed in the stomach or getting hit by a bus is also something I must have done to allow it to happen. I can’t make a difference between carelessness and accident so it’s on me. If I start being a pussy I’d expect compassion in return though. :)