Be yourself, be free
I hate not being more social and outgoing towards people, but I find myself turning down every chance I get to make friends.
@mandacrush, I feel that having a strong sense of empathy for others is actually a quite positive characteristic. As far as dealing with people who treat others in a negative way, you could try to use your sense of empathy to communicate with the aggressor, because you are correct in saying people’s actions are a reflection of their own situation and outlook on life. If you could use your own personal outlook to help influence others rather than being a broken-hearted bystander, your actions would align with your emotions and could lead you to happiness.
However, that is just my personal view on the matter and I am by no means perfect myself. I opened this thread with the intention of seeking guidance on my own issues. I almost feel stupid posting them on here because they seem so simple, yet I could really use some wise words from someone who I feel actually knows what they’re talking about. So here it is: about a year and a half ago I left my hometown (a relatively small, boring town in Michigan) to take on an internship in LA. While out there I had a great realization that my unhappiness in life was largely due to the fact that I was neglecting my dream of Acting and leading a life I had basically ended up in rather than one I had dreamed of having. I realized that the way I behaved was a product of trying to be liked by others in school and not based on what I truly believed in. I started taking acting lessons out there and was sublimely happy, excited to return to Michigan and finish my final year of college with my friends once again. However, I had become a different person, and my friends had not. I originally went to that school to play football, and upon returning I decided to quit the team to continue my pursuit of acting, a decision I believe my friends and teammates did not truly understand. We no longer agreed on many of the things that had made us become friends in the first place and began to grow apart. This really started to ware on me as the year went on, as the closest of these friends were my roomates. I began to silence my opinions as to prevent instigating arguments with my roomates day in and day out. I became very much an individual person, constantly seeking ways to better myself as an actor and as a person. I have since graduated, and am back living at my parents house taking acting classes, working, and saving up money to move back out to LA. However, the feeling of disconnection I felt with my roomates continues to plague me in nearly every aspect of my life. I feel that I can no longer make a true connection due to the fact that I lived that year being constantly shot down and disagreed with. I need something to get me out of this funk but I no longer have any true friends to share with. Any thoughts on what could help? My mind is open to just about everything.
i dont even know who i am. i couldnt tell you what my favorite; book, movie, actor/actress, musician, i cant even write a paper describing a meaningful event in my life bc i have none except when ive partied with my friends and have done drugs. fucking cool right? ..not at all.
@dwun81, That might honestly be the best advice I’ve heard yet. I think if I found a way to be more confident in the positive outlook I have on the world, I would not be beat down by other’s attitudes. Instead, I could possibly change their attitudes. I just need to find this confidence somewhere within me. Occasionally, I feel as though everyone is so critical of each other that it really discourages me.
So, I completely see where you are coming from in your situation. I really commend you for having the guts to follow your heart. You made your heart happy by following your true passion. And I know that it seems so hard that your old friends don’t seem to understand you or the way you feel about life. I have come accross that a lot.
My best advice is to go to more places, events, whatever that have a higher likelihood of people who are more accepting of others. Get involved in something that does good for others. Maybe Habitat for Humanity or volunteer at an animal shelter. Those who are very willing to give back have good hearts, and are always open to new connections. Connections that are real and might satisfy your desire for a true friend who will listen to you and you can learn from.
Until then, stay strong. People can be so judgmental, but look at everyone posting here. You’re not alone.
Hope that helps (:
@rickvonstar, relating to people isn’t really a key thing. I mean it’s nice to be able to do it but sometimes supporting people when they need it is enough :) Also if you want to try to start relating to people I suggest just to embrace the situations that happen so you can relate back to them when the time is right.
@daynah, You know I’m dealing with that same situation right now. I’ve talked to a lot of people about it but the other day sometime had a long talk with me and I think it’s logical. But, then again this is me and I hope it helps you.
@theskafish, Hey I hope I can help… here it goes…
@jaymeh, the funny thing is that I was hanging out with my mate yesterday when she all of a sudden said: you know, Moni, I absolutely hated you when I first met you but then I got to know you better. Now I love you to bits. =))
And also, thank you so very much for your kind words! x
@moni, This reminds me of myself. A lot of people told me they hated me at first, but then started to love me. I usually tell them that I always hated them and continue to do so. :) … I don’t like people that judge by first impressions, that’s all. Idiots. I’m such a dick.
i feel like my whole life is like a loop
@staringatstars, maybe your life feels like a loop because it is a loop, most lives are. Most people, I’m talking about most of the people in the world create there past over and over again, but why do we do that?
I have an answer for you, we are programmed to do that, it’s a habit to do that, the reason I know this is because off this man: Bob proctor, he showed me something that changed my life forever, I have the links to the 3 video’s right here:
Link 1: http://youtu.be/9oYbZtUrz7g
Link 2: http://youtu.be/NI4ic6swL84
Link 3: http://youtu.be/WA155xP384U
Hope you enjoy the video’s
much love paradigmshift30
@jaymeh Hey! Lately I’ve been feeling bored with everything, I want to find people that make me happy but I just don’t feel comfortable with anyone expect a few people, I want happiness I used to have before but I don’t really know how to get it back.
Now if your reading this post and are having problems go listen to these songs. Sometimes I think the best way to express ourselves is through lyrics and quotes. I’m actually really happy that you did this by the way! I love it when people can relate to songs!
@jaymeh, :) I think its awesome that you’re taking the time to read and reply to everyone. Especially my long ass post haha. And anythings possible, so I guess I’ll try to stay close but not too close to her. After meditating on and thinking about this for a bit longer I think I’ve realized that this pursuit of a relationship kind of motivated me to make changes for the better in myself – everything from excersising more to doing yoga to eating better to reading more. But now I see that I need to make this motivation for positive change independent of a hope for a relationship. Thanks a ton for replying and making me feel better!
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