Being in love with your best friend

2 years, 7 months ago

Why is being in love with your best friend have to be so complex? I think it’s the underlying fact that everything has been built off of emotion and that you push all sexual feelings aside.
But there’s no doubt you love them.

What do you guys think?

June 12, 2012 at 11:33 am

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Profile photo of SeekingBodhi SeekingBodhi (@rocker323) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

True love (and not saying anyone’s feelings aren’t true) is able to see both sides of the equation. I certainly love my best friend (we dated for some time) but in retrospect we would only hinder each other in that setting.

Love has to be able to adapt to new situations. If I truly love my friend I need to be able to ask her about how her and her new boyfriend are doing. I have to happy for the new joy that she finds even if it’s not coming from me.

It sucks, no doubt but you cannot gain anything unless you make room for it by losing something else. Unless you’re into free love but there’s not too much of that going around these days!

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Profile photo of Krono B. Krono B. (@kronos299) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

As someone you love and as your bestfriend, you should be honest with them and tell them how you feel. And if they don’t love you in the same way, then you should move on. It is unhealthy to be in a relationship the is one-sided.

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Profile photo of Davie Davie (@dschles) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Krono B. makes a good point. I have been dating my best friend for the past two years, it’s a completely equal relationship. I believe that dating your best friend is way easier than dating someone you just met. There’s no need for icebreakers or forced conversation. Dating your best friend, in my opinion, is just easier and more comfortable. I say go for it and if he or she doesn’t respond the way you’d like, then just move on.

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Profile photo of Christian Christian (@christian92) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

I wouldn’t tell him. I would show him and see how he reacts. Start slowly, give him a kiss on the cheek or whatever, just show him.

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Profile photo of Th-0m Th-0m (@0negative) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@albee, I don’t really see this ending well to be honest :/ I mean he’s your friend for a reason, you should probably keep it that way. IF you guys date, and fall in love, there’s a good possibility you guys won’t be that close anymore if you break up. . Also there’s a possibility he’ll reject you, and that’ll hurt too… If I were you I’d just try to back up and move on. Maybe the brief distance will give him time to think about how amazing of a gal you are :D, and if not it will at least give you a chance to have some objectivity and find someone just as good for you.

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Profile photo of Nick Nick (@laxcheck101) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

I think there’s a fine line between loving someone, being in love with someone, and having both feelings for someone. Most people love their best friends meaning they care about them and would do anything for them and want them to be happy but obviously being IN love implies feelings that go beyond that. When these feelings come up with a best friend it can be really hard but I think you should still tell them because there’s always the chance that they just never thought that way about you before but upon you telling them your feelings they might find that they feel the same way. The one thig that I disagree with that I read on the posts here is that if you don’t get the respond you are looking for (an “I love you too”) that you should move on. If they are your best friend I think you should accept that they may or may not love you back in the same way. If they don’t, try to accept it and continue with your friendship.

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Profile photo of Alexcandra Alexcandra (@albee) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@rocker323, @laxcheck101, @0negative, @christian92, @dschles, @kronos299, I wanted to make sure to reply to all of you. You all make such valid points and trust me it’s a tear between reality and fantasy because we did tell each other and we did show each other we and that we have for a really long time. But when two people are both coming from a background with many things that has scared them and you’ve experienced them together our concern is that it will take us down and not make us stronger. I’ve been wanting him to know forever, but I never wanted to think I could lose him over my underlying love for him. But we’ve both felt that way for a least a year now, but have been avoiding and denying it. We don’t know what to do even though we like to think we do, spending time until 2am to figure it out didn’t even work, I think showing each other is a better idea, yet I don’t know how to, I’ve never noticed how much I felt. Also another factor in the equation is we both got out of relationships but who can really say we can’t be happy. But regardless of what happens I’ve promised to love him in anyway we decide whether it be as friends or lovers, I’ll be in love with the kid.

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Profile photo of enzo J. enzo J. (@Nzol) 4 months, 2 weeks ago ago

The date of your post (6-12-12), is the day I felt a friendship ended from my bestfriend who I had feelings for. It was also my birthday,so that how i remember that date. I wish there was a time machine to go back and enjoy her company again. I miss her.

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