being single

3 years, 8 months ago

i know this topic has come up before. do people like being single? or do they feel sad when they are single? how do people view being single. of course there is that idea that those who are single must be unhappy… I definitely love being free as a bird and having crazy experiences being single but also it’s so great to cuddle in bed with someone you really care about… I want to know what you all feel about it, whether in general or what you’re going through…

03.26.2011 at 11:04 pm

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Profile photo of Rory Rory (@ro90) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

I’m single now, I wanted a girlfriend for ages, even went so far as to get with girls i wasn’t even that fond of, might sound bad i know but i thought id start to like them more if i was with them.. I like being single, but I would rather find someone I can actually connect with. Thought I might found just that only recently, the only girl I really like in years ! she broke my heart.. what can you do I suppose….

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Profile photo of Rory Rory (@ro90) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

I’m single now, I wanted a girlfriend for ages, even went so far as to get with girls i wasn’t even that fond of, might sound bad i know but i thought id start to like them more if i was with them.. I like being single, but I would rather find someone I can actually connect with. Thought I might found just that only recently, the only girl I really like in years ! she broke my heart.. what can you do I suppose….

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Profile photo of Donna G Donna G (@uhoh2bad) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

I am not single, but often wish I was. My husband can be quite difficult to get along with.

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Profile photo of paul_g paul_g (@paulg) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

donna, you have children?

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Profile photo of Kari Kari (@karisnow) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

I really like being single. I’ve been single for several years now and have really explored it as a purposeful existence rather than some kind of “empty space” between relationships. I have come to know just how much I love being on my own schedule, having all my free time to myself, no one to have to negotiate life choices with. I’ve become so aware of my internalized “singlism” (there’s even a word now for the prejudice that single people face); I realized that even though I’m happy, some part of me doesn’t trust it because the world around me assumes that without a mate, folks must surely be unhappy, lonely, longing for a partner, etc….it’s just not necessarily true. Sure, I miss being with a partner sometimes, but everything has its pros and cons. This lifestyle is definitely less stressful for me and just as personally fulfilling. Maybe more so.

Being single long-term is not for everyone, but our society definitely perpetuates some really unfair ideas about single folks and what being single “means”. Reading has helped me put it all in perspective. If you’re curious, Bella DePaulo has written extensively on the subject, and ATMP.org has good resources too.

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Profile photo of paul_g paul_g (@paulg) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

thanks for the links kari, very interesting

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Profile photo of Martin Martin (@wellbe) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

I have been single for about 7 years now(34) after a particularly hard breakup with a girl I was about to propose to who I still consider to be my soul mate. I love being single and have become quite selfish with my time, as in doing what I want/when I want and not having to consider anybody else, yet still miss being able to share my life with somebody.

The problem I have is that I am getting older and want nothing more to settle down and have a family, yet the only girl I actually feel attracted to(emotionally) is my best friend who is a lesbian. We get on really well and a lot of the time it actually feels like it is a relationship(as in she stays over and we even sleep in the same bed cuddling a little but nothing more than that, we talk to each other most nights and not often there is more than a day gap in our conversations), but she just can’t be with a guy(100% lesbian..0% bi) although we have spoken about it and she said if she could choose not to be gay she would as it is hard(traditional/conservative family) and she could see a relationship working with me.

I am also one of these people that gets hung up on girls(as in a 5 year crush which stopped me pursuing any other girls) so being a little hung up on my best friend(with almost a 0% chance of a relationship) kind of really worries me as time is marching by and although I am a guy and have a little longer to have kids, don’t want to be a old fart when my kids hit 18…

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Profile photo of Roberto Roberto (@robpiu) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

I split 5 month ago after 5yrs and after we decided to get married.
Now I’m fine, I’m very lucky having a busy life, fantastic friends and not struggling to get girls (nice girls i mean) but I cannot say I don’t think how would have been my life with her everyday (I would never come back, just thoughts)
I starded to try to see the nice part of everything happens and this helped me to be fine.
It’s fantastic to have fun during weekends, to be free not to say where, what and why… But on monday and the rest of the week receiving a message with an easy “Have nice day” from someone important would make my day a good day, and you have to consider that weekend is long 2, rest of the week 5…

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Profile photo of Tutankh Tutankh (@enfenity) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

being single has its moments of coolness…then there are times when i’d love a ‘bonnie’ to roll with this ‘clyde’…a bestfriend…so close that we receive the same thoughts at time..i def miss having a beautiful lady to give to, provide for, surprise, catch concerts with, rollin papers ), and to share some of my corny jokes with

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Profile photo of b_a_mn b_a_mn (@Ballen651) 4 months, 3 weeks ago ago

I personally am very happy single. It took me quite a while to get to this point though. I went through ALOT of emotional and mental evaluation and self reflection. It was not the easiest time in life.

Cliche as it is… Being truly happy alone is key before entering into a relationship.

I have not had the best experiences with relationships over the last 15 years, and I decided after the last one that id like to focus my energy elsewhere, on things that will bring me happiness and fulfillment, like volunteering and roller derby! And also on myself and my happiness.

People do unfortunately assume that when you’re single, that you are unhappy and longing for a relationship. But myself, I’ve created a very happy life alone. I have a lot of friends and do a lot of things and go on a lot of cool trips, just am not willing to invest myself into a relationship after the negativity ive experienced from them this far. Would I be open to a relationship? Sure, bit my approach would be very different to a relationship than it has been in the past.

However, one negative part of being single is the closeness and physical touch that all human beings need. There are times id really like someone to be close with and have companionship, but that’s when meditation comes in great, and I’m reminded just how good life is with or without someone!

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Profile photo of Marlon Marlon (@shoeopener) 4 months, 3 weeks ago ago

Um, um, um, um, um, um. Um, um, um, um, um, um.

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