Can a M/F relationship ever be completely paltonic? Poll.

2 years, 3 months ago

I vote NO.
My theory (from experience) is that in every instance:
if one of the two were completely honest, he or she would agree to have sex with the other.
If you claim that you have been in a relationship where this is not true then I assert that YOU were the one that did not wish to have sex.

December 5, 2012 at 4:02 pm

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

I don’t think the hubris is just possible, it’s very much there.

[Hidden]
8
Profile photo of Sasho Stoyanov Anonymous (@) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

Ironically if both of them are with the intentions for a platonic relationship, they’re usually right for each other.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Ray Butler Ray Butler M (@trek79) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

No relationship is, male-male, female-female, mother and son, mother-daughter, father-daughter, father and son, brother-sister, yes we are all a little incest gay, shouldn’t act on it though, just a heads up ;)

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of possiblehubris possiblehubris (@possiblehubris) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@dalniente, I don’t know what you mean
@beyond, sage words once again. My wife and I tried to be friends. She wanted to be “friends” much longer than I wanted it. But it was in the early stages of being platonic that we started to fall in love.
@trek79, love it! wasn’t my intention with the post, but Freud would certainly agree:)

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of apricelessgoat apricelessgoat (@aworthlessgoat) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

i vote no also, however there was one chick who i considered to be a best friend. i would have had sex with her in an instant and i never told her, but strangely i was alright with that. i mean it was a problem with other girls who i told or tried to make it clear that i wanted them or even if i didnt tell them i couldnt stand to be around them, but with that one girl i never minded the platonic friendship and for the most part i just enjoyed her company…it was kind of weird even for me

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Zykanthos Zykanthos M (@chodebalm) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

Paltonic? Me no understand.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of possiblehubris possiblehubris (@possiblehubris) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@chodebalm, shit fuck! thanks..oops

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

Nah, one of them will usually be looking for a little more fun than the other.

But…

coinciding desire sets friendship on fire.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Jeslyn Jeslyn (@jeslyntweedie) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

The only time I could really see a M/F relationship being truly purely platonic, is in the case of an apprentice/master relationship. Something where age and expertise are way too big of an influence.

Kind of cool when that can happen too. Some of the best things I’ve ever learned were from older males whom I was close with but not at all in any kind of romantic or sexual way–too big of a gap to even contemplate, was a non issue.

So it can happen, with big gaps in age and experience/wisdom/intellect.

Maybe it’s not just attraction that’s the issue. Maybe it’s more of a young people thing, when you’re just really not sure of what you want, what you’re attracted to, who you are yourself…etc. So everyone experiments.

It does suck when someone doesn’t want to experiment with you though, but alas, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

On another note, even though one might want to sleep with the other, that’s a very primal instinct. And it doesn’t always mean love or anything like that either.

I have lots of close male friends, and maybe they want to fuck me and sometimes it’s funny to joke about, but they know it’s just a thought. I mean people in their 20s and 30s are around a lot of reproductively healthy people. It’s normal to want to have sex with your attractive friends. But you don’t have to act on it. Doesn’t change the friendships at all, it just is.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of possiblehubris possiblehubris (@possiblehubris) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@jeslyntweedie, good take on the age aspect.I would certainly agree that a role model relationship could transcend our more primal urges.

[Hidden]
2
Profile photo of Alex Alex (@staylucky) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

Unless you’re the horny old man ;)

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of cadeus cadeus (@cadeus333) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

I’ve only ever had one friendship with a female that was platonic. We worked together, got to talking, hanging out and she is just a really chill, smart, funny chick. I was never attracted to her whatsoever, not that she’s ugly, just not my type and she about six years younger than me. Might not seem like much if you are older but when we started hanging out she was 17 and I was 23. It was a pretty big gap but she was very mature, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have been able to stand her.

We’ve been friends for about 3 and a half years, talk often, both of us have been though multiple relationships together, been single together and nothing really ever came up except when I told her that her boyfriend at the time was douche bag, and would end up hurting her. She accused me of being jealous, I told her it couldn’t be further from the truth and I just got really bad vibes from the guy. We didn’t talk for about three or four months until I was proven right and she called me to apologize, that was the only argument we’ve ever had and we are still good friends.

But, Just within the past few weeks I have been getting some strange vibes from her. I’m a pretty perceptive person and the way she’s been acting, the things she’s been saying lead me to believe she has kind of fallen for me. I don’t desire any sort of relationship with her other than friendship, I’m just honestly not attracted to her. I’m feeling kind of awkward about the whole thing but I completely understand why it has happened.

I’ve always been there for her as a friend, I’ve always been the older guy, big brother figure. She comes to me for advice, the times she hasn’t taken it she eventually realized I was right. I have always been protective of her because she has always been really innocent, never gotten in trouble, just really straight edged and I’ve always been the opposite. I guess it’s the bad boy thing, and she wants more because she realizes that I’m the only guy who has been there for here without ulterior motives. I get it, I really do and I should have expected this would happen. Kinda sucks though, I don’t know what to do.

Any suggestions?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

I vote yes.
I vote that it is possible, they both have to be unattracted to each other, duh.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of ces't la vie ces’t la vie (@citygirl9050) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@cadeus333, I think you should get her to hook up with another guy, or just set her up with someone.. that should help. maybe talk to her about girls… get her to realize that it will never happen between you guys or else you’ll just lead her on in your subconscious way. Unless you’re thinking about her too … ;)

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of cadeus cadeus (@cadeus333) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@citygirl9050, I probably should have mentioned that I have been married for about 8 months and I have a baby girl just a little over 2 months old. She knows this, she has met and hung out with my wife and just recently saw my little girl. That’s what makes it really weird. She is not the home wrecker type at all, she is a very respectful person.

She hasn’t come out and said anything obviously inappropriate, just things like “I really hope Daysi (my wife) knows how lucky she is” or “I can’t believe I never really realized what amazing guy you are, I thought guys like you were a myth or something”. To which I can only respond “uhhhh…thankkksss…*nervous laughter*”.

It’s entirely too awkward…

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of ces't la vie ces’t la vie (@citygirl9050) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@cadeus333, oh wow…. well i think you should uh, maybe stop hanging out with her one on one? and distance yourself. is ur wife intimidated or know that u feel like ur friend likes u?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of possiblehubris possiblehubris (@possiblehubris) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@cadeus333, and respectfully this is exactly what I mean. With best intentions from both of you, a strong and honest relationship platonic relationship eventually sours. To me it seems that at first the age difference was a big deal, but as she has matured and your relationship has grown so too have the feelings romantically on her side.
I would go as far to say it is almost human nature.
I am friends with some girls– but this chasm always needed to be discussed in the open before we could be hurt by one another and then decided whether rebuilding into a genuine platonic relationship was possible/desirable.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of E.C.F. Doyle E.C.F. Doyle (@chekovchameleon) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

I vote no. Even when you really are just friends and you are unattracted, you will still find yourself, every once in while, saying to yourself, “ooo, I’d have a bit of that.” Maybe I’m just a creep, who knows, but I think human, no animal, nature just doesn’t allow it.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Tony Tony (@toniolo) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@possiblehubris I think yes. I have many friends that are girls. Some more attractive than others and I’m obviously sexually attracted to any woman who’s beautiful. But I believe friendships should run deeper than any primal urges to have sex. I’ve actually had this conversation with two of my female friends about how we’re both sexually attracted to one another but realize its not worth it to ruin the relationship we currently have. If it’s about sex, find a fuck buddy. It’s much harder to find a person who shares the same values and worldview than it is to find a one night stand, regardless if that person is male or female.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of possiblehubris possiblehubris (@possiblehubris) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@toniolo, and these two girls you addressed the issue with are in committed relationships? If no, what stops you from taking it to a physical relationship…I am not longer single but it seems like the nature progression.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

No offense bro, but this is a stupid question.

Of course it can. It’s merely a matter of choice and honesty.

Plus, agreeing to possibly have sex doesn’t mean it can’t be platonic. First of all, it’s just hypothetical. Second, even if they act on it that doesn’t necessarily change anything. They can still be just friends.

Been there, done that.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@jeslyntweedie, Oh, but how do you know the joking isn’t just a case of the classic “it’s just a harmless joke” deception? How do you know it’s not the subconscious finding a way to let itself shine in a way that isn’t as easily spotted? Or an attempt to negate the whims that are there?

Not saying it is so, but it could be you know. How Freudian have you gotten with this stuff haha?
How well do you know your subconscious?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of possiblehubris possiblehubris (@possiblehubris) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@manimal, having sex doesn’t change anything? Who is being “stupid” now?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Tony Tony (@toniolo) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@possiblehubris No they’re not, but what stops me is that I don’t see them as romantic partners. Yes, we have common interests but I think there is a clear distinction between girls you like to hang out with and girls you would wanna date romantically. To me, a physical relationship is not necessary. I already have a physical relationship that satisfies my sexual desires so why risk sabotaging a friendship for pleasure that I can get elsewhere? But I guess it all comes down to whether or not both people think a platonic relationship can work. If you’re both satisfied being friends then I see no reason why the relationship shouldn’t stay platonic.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@possiblehubris, Do you really want the answer to that question?

If you knew the terms, you would understand that it’s all about the feelings. If there is no earthly eros, it’s platonic.

Believe it or not, but we choose our infatuations. If you find that you can’t stay around girls without getting turned on, that’s on you, your decision to not take charge of your desires.
Lust is nothing but a lack of self-control.

If you can’t stop getting turned on, that means your mind is in a lower place. Bring it out of there, and it stops.

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic

More Posts Like This

8

Profile photo of Mad Hat Matt Can anyone else not smoke marijuana anymore?

Psychoactives definitely turn on (or off) a part of your brain every time they enter your system. No two ways about it. If you’re on the precipice of a thought or idea and you smoke, you’re either going to...

97
3

Profile photo of byebyebazman Where do you go?

When you die, where do you go? I mean sure you no longer interact with that which is (depending on your perspective)…but where do “you” go. Is it possible for you to escape the cosmos…and if yes...

16
2

Profile photo of JustinDanger The Rational Gaze and DNA

In 1998 Jeremy Narby published The Cosmic Serpent: DNA and the Origins of Knowledge. In it he proposed that shamans may be able to access information at the molecular level through the ingestion of entheogens,...

4
49

Profile photo of MonkeyZazu [HE 30 Day Challenge] March ’15 – Dream Journaling!

Is everyone super zen from last month’s meditation challenge? I hope so :) The challenge for March is dream journaling! Dream journaling is the practice of writing down your dreams immediately upon waking (before...

115
1

Profile photo of ELI var namnet Ethics on Polygamy

Do you guys think a polygamist lifestyle is ethical? Please explain!

11
1

Profile photo of ELI var namnet Knowing vs Living

What’s the difference, and/or relevance between knowing something philosophical-style, and actually living a new truth?

16
3

Profile photo of ELI var namnet Sexual/Emotional Chemistry – Why is this so hard to find?

So prior to meeting someone in person I had already developed an immediate connection with them online. It was 2 hours of back and forth jibber jabber (nothing serious, just friendly discussion as if we have been friends...

8
1

Profile photo of LVX I'm betting against VR being the next big thing

Google Glass and Microsoft HoloLens are both incredible feats of engineering and design. They may both thrive in certain niches and applications. But, they’ll never be mainstream. This is because neither meets a...

30
1

Profile photo of ELI var namnet I'm not satisfied with me

I am not so satisfied with me, my parents, Well wishers , friends all are the best one i got but only things here in my life i am not able to digest is its me. i am not getting any idea of what to do next...

3
1

Profile photo of nicht The Big Bang Theory Is Wrong

Every single individual atom is alive with a unique consciousness Your mind is the ruler of these atoms, whatever you think attracts certain atoms with a similar vibration and motivates them to carry on life processes...

29
1

Profile photo of My Husband isn't so loyal to me.

Hi I am 21 years old, I got married to my husband 2 years ago. We’ve been in a relationship for 4 years. We are having a rough patch in our relationship it’s pretty bad. I can’t really trust him like I...

0
1

Profile photo of Frankie Happiness?

Is nirvana remotely possible for human beings? I’ve often been thinking about how happiness can become an everyday thing… and most of the time, it seems utterly impossible. How can someone be ultimately...

7
1

Profile photo of gilberth Cool Jobs

I am planning to take a year off after I graduate from U of O (go ducks by the way), and I would like to go abroad and live very simply for a year or two. I plan to work various jobs, and have heard of some cool...

5
1

Profile photo of gilberth Cool Offers Online. Any others?

I have been doing alot of random tasks and jobs to make money on the side, and have found some cool outlets I feel everyone should get a chance at. For one, I have been doing what is called “Mystery...

3
1

Profile photo of Ellie The weird self realization trip

I’m sure a lot of you have gone through this. It might have happened to you like it did to me, one day you were fixing your hair looking at yourself in the mirror and then this strange feeling drops into you. It...

4