Can a M/F relationship ever be completely paltonic? Poll.

@possiblehubris, Do you really want the answer to that question?

If you knew the terms, you would understand that it’s all about the feelings. If there is no earthly eros, it’s platonic.

Believe it or not, but we choose our infatuations. If you find that you can’t stay around girls without getting turned on, that’s on you, your decision to not take charge of your desires.
Lust is nothing but a lack of self-control.

If you can’t stop getting turned on, that means your mind is in a lower place. Bring it out of there, and it stops.

I think the only “platonic” relationship you can have with someone is if you are
acquaintances, and not truly friends in the close sense of the word. You are friends with someone because you are attracted to some aspect of them, sexually or otherwise.

Has anyone heard of the Kinsey scale? It basically says that no one is really completely “heterosexual” or “homosexual”, and I think that plays a lot into how our close friendships work. I’m mostly sexually attracted to males, every once in a while females, but if I’m honest with myself I’m attracted to something in every single one of my friends, whether it’s intelligence or creativity or attitude etc. I also like getting physically close to my friends because of this, but in varying ways. I think sexuality and the things we are attracted to is a vast, undefinable thing, and can’t only be tied to fucking.

@trek79 I think this idea works for family too….you are attracted to your family because of shared characteristics and history. But biologically, of course, we have a natural inclination to not Actually want to act sexually on the attractions to our family.There’s that old saying that when finding a partner, a guy looks for his “mother” and a gal looks for her “father.” All sorts of interesting implications in this.

@possiblehubris, nice topic!

@citygirl9050, Nah, we haven’t hung out one on one for a while. Last time I saw her was a few weeks after my daughter was born. There have only been two of these weird conversations, one on the phone and one on fb. My wife doesn’t know any of this, I’m not trying to hide anything from her and She’s not the jealous type at all, it’s just not a conversation I want have. I just have to talk to my friend and clear the air for both of our sakes.

Well, I’d really like to know why was this question ever formulated, as valid reasons would have first crossed your mind. In my personal opinion AND experience, a boy/man and a girl/woman can be 100% friends without any romantic or sexual desires bugging them. In the case they’ve got those desires, well… There must be confidence to create a friendship, mustn’t it? Why not talk about it? Each day/time I observe people, they take sex and romance way too far and over react their emotions, like they’re living in a soap opera or a theatrical play. I mean… Relax, dude!! It’s just a feeling!! You’re human and you’ve got’em as you also may not have them!! That’s why you need to understand when you may not be the significant other of your significant other.

In conclusion… Why not??

Of course this can occur when both parties know exactly the circumstances but from my experience I would say no. Of course your genetic wiring can tell you that you want more than and if one party wanted to have sex/hook up that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not platonic. I think you can think of at least one girl you would never hook up with mentally physically etc and think of who that girl has that feelings for and wallaaaa defintely possible. I remember their was a time I just really wanted a girl best friend so I searched and searched and to this day not a single chick, all sent to the friend zone ( I know i’m a moron etc.)

@possiblehubris, Who wrote those biographies? How much did they really know about Gandhi? People misunderstand, and people lie, what makes you so sure that’s not what happened there?

Attraction doesn’t necessitate lust. Furthermore, sometimes sex is just a logical choice, without feelings of attraction or anything like it.
A lot of gurus and pastors and whatnot who preach about celibacy, have kids themselves.

Another thing to note is that was just one man, one of many who practice self-control. One person failing doesn’t mean that the practice doesn’t work. And, you know, things have moved forward, things have advanced, new discoveries have been made.
Self-control is easier now than ever, because there’s more good info on it than ever.

Also, Gandhi liked to keep young girls around because he thought their energy could be used to strengthen him so he could succeed in his quest.
This is actually very common in India, China and other parts of east Asia. Celibate ascetics who keep young people of the opposite gender around so they can “sap their energy.”

@possiblehubris, I was poking fun at your username.

An obvious counterexample to your claim would be a friendship between a homosexual male and a homosexual female.

Just as you probably aren’t attracted to every woman you see (are you heterosexual? add “and man” to that statement if you aren’t), the general idea can be applied to others, no matter what their sexual orientation is.