Psychoactives definitely turn on (or off) a part of your brain every time they enter your system. No two ways about it. If you’re on the precipice of a thought or idea and you smoke, you’re either going to have some kind of breakthrough, or it’s going to dominate your thoughts. Depends on what you’re doing and if they’re other stimulus around too.
For me, personally, I never get profound revelations from cannabis anymore, but it still puts me in a better frame of mind to have really long, elaborate, trippy conversations. If I want aid in turning inside and having a deep think session, stripping my ego away: mushrooms.
I did have to quit cannabis because it became habitual however it was one of the biggest catalysts in everything everything everything I know and love about my journey towards self discovery.
It sounds silly but I lost my academic possibilities due to time and financial constraints before cannabis but it was no great loss because I was a dunce up until the age of 18 or so. But then I started smoking weed, I would imagine to a large extent it was biological but I switched on, weed kept me pinned to a computer though and just got me looking at anything and everything but also sitting in groups discussing anything and everything.
So now I can discuss sanskrit, aryan migration, sumerian/african/roman/medieval/napoleonic history, physics, nuclear physics, economics and so many other things that are to many to list I’d just gotten started. And yes I attribute it to weed it created a cultural shift in my life which was deleterious I suspect financially but intellectually it was a supernova.
@west, @west, I went through the same experience. I was trying to find someone who had gone through this, I needed to know I wasn’t the only one. I feel like my boyfriend enjoys having control over the fact that I get panic attacks. This last time was the Truman show delusion u mentioned… the weird part is I’ve never even seen or heard of that movie till now. I was trying to explain what I had went through to him he gave me the you’re crazy look. I just wanted comfort and thanks for posting :) excuse my writing its hard without a keypad and a small phone screen.
That’s never happened to me, although I used to get pretty paranoid when I started smoking way back in high school. I think the key is to take regular breaks. When I have fights I usually take at least two weeks off from smoking and it’s not unusual for me to go a few months without it.
I’m the same way. I used to love cannabis. It fueled my thoughts and felt great. Now I just get paranoid and just sit there. I occasionally love smoking maybe half a bowl and meditating. The problem is everyone I know LOVES to smoke A LOT. I don’t…
But I’m with you on the mushies. If I wanna talk for hours about bizarreness, mushrooms are the way to go. Definitely my new favorite drug by far.
i don’t get how people can get spiritual revelations on weed. I love weed, but it seems like the thinking you do behind it is just as stupid as when you’re drunk. Entheogens however are totally capable of inducing the mind into taking up a whole paradigm shift in the way one views a certain aspect of life
same here. It’s kind of sad once we hit this stage because a part of you would love to be able to smoke a joint and not feel the intense feelings or vibrations or being able to strongly read others and feel their emotions too. it’s like one day your ego vanishes,you wake up and smoking the green must be done way more spiritually once this happens or you could go too crazy. I always felt uncomfortable smoking with people who I was not close to even if i was with one person who i could be my complete true self around so I just thought something was super wrong with me and if people don’t understand about the changing of vibrations they will scare themselves to once they hit this stage and also these people will not understand you because they have not made it there yet. Now smoking has to be brought on differently once you’re at this stage like if you’re into exercizing in your own home or doing yoga mixed with the stoniness it is 100% perfect! i think It’s nice to know so many others can feel the same and that slowly we are becoming a bigger group together on this subject being able to discuss it and feel somewhat the same or able to relate. Happy smoking! Always keep a happy positive attitude & never let your minds jibbering control that high!
There was a point my life where I would smoke weed with my best friend every day if not every other day. This went on for several months, and just like you It became my teacher, my weekly inspiration.
My mind also kept expanding and expanding. Thoughts of the Universe, thoughts of life. Everyone’s individual life felt like a story waiting to be mended. When I smoked I would feel an enveloping love. Almost too much love.
Interesting enough things began to take a turn. There was one night which I consider led to everything else that followed. Like you, I felt myself at a wall between this reality and whatever was “out there”. I felt as if I understood, or at least beginning to understand. It felt as If my mind was travelling at an insanely fast pace putting all of the pieces together about this thing we call reality. I’m only calling it reality because we have no better words for what is actually happening. The faster my conscious raced to understand the deeper I felt my body was sinking. I felt it at my core it wasn’t pain it was more of the realization that I will go passed a wall of reality that once I went beyond it I completely understood that I would never come back. Just like you, I Knew that once I saw what was beyond I could never come back. My friends would be me, and vise versa, there’d be no I, or you, or family, or anything. I would swim in a void of everything.
I felt as if I was going to sink into a single point. It would be so incredibly fast. So much faster than instantaneous. I would no longer be me I’d be everything, and the destruction/creation it would cause would be beautiful. I was so terrified, because my friend was there witnessing what I was going through, and even though I was explaining it to him, he just didn’t understand. I literally dropped to the ground and I was apologizing to whatever was out there for trying to peak into the beyond. My consciousness was scrambling to survive that hopelessness, the vastness. I was almost through the border of this reality. Everything felt as if was going to collapse I was too far gone into the void.
I felt dread coursing through my body. Not because I was going to die, but because I knew that everything in the world would cease to be. The dread of universe extinction. I knew I had to come back. Individuality is truly a gift, one we cant yet fathom to understand. There was a constant ringing in my head, and I kept seeing me sink into a single point. The ringing became louder the deeper I drifted through the barrier of this reality.
The only way I can describe it is this. Imagine the entire universe was flat and you were to walk to the single point where the big bang took place. When you arrive you a huge wall of darkness, and you cannot see anything beyond it. You take a look at yourself one last time to see who you are, you step into the darkness and you instantly lose your physical form and at the same time begin to understand things that you would have never understood because you were trapped in that shell you thought was all of you. You are dragged through at a speed incomprehensible to us. The faster you’re pulled the louder the ringing. There is no sense of spacial reasoning, you simply sink through, collapsing, crossing, and going through every known and unknown direction, yet you know you are definitely on a specific path. The void drags you, stretches you, twists, turns, and you feel the crossing. Along with everything it means, and you feel the dread.
When I came back the intense fear slowly left my body, and I was so glad I didn’t cross to whatever was beyond. Just like you the the most difficult part was that I felt so alone. My friend couldn’t understand what I had gone through, or what I was so afraid of. He laughed it off and said I was crazy, that I was just paranoid.
After this happened to me I began experimenting with Marijuana.
I began to understand things about marijuana that you wouldn’t normally think would be possible. Depending on how you use it, you can actually control various aspects of your mind. People who begin to smoke go in it initially thinking of munchies, laughing, watching cartoons, and simply not tapping in to it’s true potential.
I’m not a scientist. I’m a normal human being.
I always felt hindered in my normal everyday life. I always felt as if something was holding me back. I felt too aware of things that made me afraid. I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. I’m not too confident about my ability to fight. I hate being stepped on and I know there is rage inside of me. I’m very outgoing, I’m kind and have a wild yet controlled personality, sometimes I’m shy, and do my best to avoid confrontations. One of the tests I began to do on Marijuana was increasing my confidence.
After the event every time I smoked I made sure to fully embrace all of my fears. (WARNING!! I DO NOT RECOMMEND ANYONE TO TRY THIS). Overtime this became much simpler and activating “Him” became a switch I could not control. (Please read this with an open mind. Not everyone will understand or believe what I am about to say, but this happened to me.) The following made me quit Marijuana completely. It was only after a couple of months that I decided to try marijuana again and I avoided the steps to enter this shift of consciousness.
After the event every time I would smoke I would make sure to embrace all of my fears and accept them. The second I felt high I would let my fears seep into my body. I would feel them all at once. Let everything attack me at once. I would close my eyes take a deep breath and feel my fears gather in my core. Once there I would focus on embracing them. Becoming a part of the fear. Becoming better than the fear. Becoming the fear. I would breath feeling the fear at my core and then I would imagine the fear creeping up to my head and then I would exhale. As I exhaled I would imagine that all of my fears, all the pressure and dread fall over me and it became me. I am stronger than my fear because I am fear.
What happened next actually happened to me several other times.
It would always start with this sensation of something falling over me. As if my fears literally went from my core to my head and then falling on me like a veil. My vision would begin to tilt. I could feel something fighting to break out from inside of me. Whenever I entered this stage it was literally a battle that I was completely aware of, and absolutely losing. I could feel something rising from within me and attempting to take control of my normal consciousness. The could feel the scale tipping and my vision finally tilted fully. I could feel the pressure inside my head I could feel that something changed about me. I couldn’t only just feel it, but I could see it. I could sense it, I could feel energy that I could never feel before. I could sense aggression hostility, submission, and mental battles through the ferocity of eyes alone. It felt like electricity. It was me, yet a very different side of me. I was in control, yet my mind was different in personality. I lacked empathy, I lacked emotion, I lacked fear, I lacked hatred, anger, jealousy. I only wanted to hurt people. I tapped completely into all of my intelligence. Intelligence that in normal everyday life is blocked by nervousness, shyness, lack of confidence, or fear. I felt amazing,spectacular, sublime, I was incredibly well spoken, the tone of my voice simply exemplified strength, confidence, and power. I felt extremely manipulative, dangerous and remorseless.
Overtime this side of me would activate without me even trying to. All I had to do was smoke and “He” would come out. I would put myself in dangerous situations with gangs simply waiting for trouble. Having a knife made me even more aggressive. If it wasn’t for my friends I would have killed someone. Being in that state felt amazing. (I hate to say it but it really did feel amazing. No empathy, no fear, manipulative and powerful. I had all the right words at every given time.)
Things became terrifying when it started to take only 3 puffs to begin the shift. The last time it happened to me my friends were there and I was telling them what was happening. I was telling them I was changing. My vision kept tilting and I began to see them very differently. I didn’t see them as my friends, I saw them as things I could step on and squash like a fly. I was fighting it. I could feel the scale tipping from one side to the other. I told them to take my knife away from me and to get any potentially deadly objects away from me. They took everything away and eventually I won. I didn’t let it take over.
After that I decided to quit smoking. Two months passed and the same friends invited me to smoke I decided to hang out. After one puff. It fell over me, I had no chance and he took over me. I left the apartment and went home immediately. I threw my knife away avoided people, got home and jumped in bed until it passed.
It took me a few months to realize that every time I had smoked I would be scared of shifting and becoming that monster. This had actually only made me think about it more which in turn caused it to activate much faster, to the point where I could not control it.
After that I didn’t smoke for 6 months. When I did smoke again I only took three very good puffs and I focused on being social. I made sure all my mind thought about was interacting with people in a positive way. This in turn made me see something I had never seen before. I was at a party and I could literally see the patterns of everyone. I noticed how they felt, I could sense their emotion, I could sense the attraction and what drew people to others. I became very aware of how people felt and it made me realize that everyone was giving off different energies, and the way in which you interacted with them affected a larger pattern that would make others be drawn to you if you work it properly.
I understood honesty and humility. Cheerfulness and ego. I understood the form of attention people required. The kind of attention that would make them search for you in return. The better I managed the energies of others and understood what those energies needed to become happier the more attracted other became to me. I was soon surrounded by people who were having an amazing time and had an amazing experience with me being in their company. Communication with others was simply automatic. I did not need to think about it, because their energies told me everything they wanted to hear.
Marijuana has so much potential. It really is on how you decided to let it affect your mind. It doesn’t have to give you munchies, make you a philosopher, or want to sit around and watch cartoons, or fall asleep. The more you tune into what it can do for you, and how you wish to direct and control your mind. I think you will see that consciousness is much much more than the conscious awareness that is our daily lives. There are tons of “You” that you may not have even discovered yet.
I smoked regularly for about a year and a half and I loved it. Every time I was high was great. But then I had my first negative experience. I took one very large hit from a waterfall and after about 20 minutes, I was filled with anxiety because I was SO high. Since then, I have been smoking on and off and had 2 other bad experiences with weed. The last being probably the worst.
I ate a cookie with about 1/4 gram in it, and I was with a group of friends who also ate cookies. About an hour later, we still weren’t feeling much so we smoked a bowl. Shortly after that I started to feel uncomfortably high and I felt anxiety. That was only minutes after smoking the bowl, so I knew I would get much more high. Basically, for the next 3 hours I was freaking out on the inside while appearing calm. I didn’t want to scare my friends, but I was afraid I would need them to call an ambulance because I thought my heart was going to burst. At times I enjoyed it because there were very interesting things going on in my head. I kept looking at my girlfriend and it comforted me to think about how much I love her. And I also kept reminding myself that it was only weed, and not something like dmt. I kept getting songs stuck in my head but I was experiencing the song in a different way. I would see the words of the song and feel more a part of the song. It was weird lol. And at another point I saw a guy mowing his lawn and he looked exactly like Jesse Pinkman (from Breaking Bad haha).
Overall, the experience was very intense and as the high got more relaxed I was able to enjoy it. But that was about 2 months ago and I haven’t smoked since. I would like to smoke again, but I’m afraid that I will feel anxiety again.
“I let the fears wash over me. Take a hold of me.”
I tried that too. Everyone always told me to ‘let go’, ‘just accept it’.
No. No way. The fear is so all encompassing, so dramatic, so cosmic and pervasive, there is no letting go. The fear marijuana brings is unlike anything else, it seeps into every thought and every core. Trying to tell yourself you can handle it is like telling a nut to beat the nut cracker. Its cute, at least.
It took me a few years to organize myself into what was going on with me and marijuana. I knew it would never effect me the same again, and many times I caved. I just wanted to smoke and have ‘fun’ like I used to. Getting high and watch a movie, walk around.
That wasn’t how it was going to be anymore, though.
Now, smoking at a party for me is like putting my hand in a blender. I become so incredibly aware of our societies faults and the negative aspects of our culture. Everyone becomes a sheep, as I stare. At some points, I even go past our language, and I’m simply observing mumbled phrases and gobbledygook like I’m not even from this planet. It all becomes foreign, like nobody is aware of who they actually are.
Their metaphysical masks and costumes which they don for others become obvious, in fact, it becomes all they are. When someones depressed but hiding it, I can see right through them. When someone is doomed to alcoholism, I see it immediately. When someone is feeling ill, I see it. Reality becomes real – its one of the best statements I can make, yet its so ridiculous to say that.
Now, I can go to a party if I wanted, and I can say ‘Yeah, I can go down that road, and see ‘reality’ if I want to, but I just want to have fun today.’ and so I ignore the rest. I ignore the elephant in the room, and just relax and have fun for a while.
If I want to truly understand something, all I have to do is smoke 1 puff and sit in bed, and my life falls into place (or apart). Things become so simple. The complicated becomes detangled.
But sometimes its healthy to imagine the world is complicated. Sometimes it better for the mind to not understand.
You Know iv been thinking as well just like all you in California the blowiest state in America weed from the dispensary so bomb but yes i thought as you thought i hate feeling so lonely the only thing now when i think…..the only feeling i feel is unsatisfactory existence u know we should stand up cause we all see we see all as one and one as all the thoughts tht we experience like the way fractals echos and repeat we think thoughts and thts unique we will make us different from one another is to do something with these thought bring them to reality
Interesting that this thread should come back up again now, for me anyway. Been off the reef for almost a full year now, and I don’t plan to go back. I never got any philosophical or creative insights from it, just stayed up way too late, ate too much junk food, and major mental and physical laziness.
Your experiences with weed actually sound similar to the drug DMT.
It’s life altering mind you. You should watch the documentary DMT: The Dream Drug. Very enthralling.
But honestly this sounds a bit like how I used to be when I first started smoking.
I could actually take apart objects with my mind and see how they worked. I was watching tv once and I just smoked a joint, but I wasn’t interested in the program at all. I was staring at the tv itself and I couldn’t help trying to figure out how it worked. In slow motion my mind took the television and slowly took apart the screen and they were floating in this strange thought. I saw everything and how it came together.
But now that I smoked a lot more this year I simply cannot focus, my speech is awful. I often confuse my words or forget to say something in a sentence to make it sound like it makes sense. Recently I have started slowly weening myself. I am now only smoking a few hits off a blunt in the evening or nothing at all. I actually only took a few hits and said I was finished when me and my friends were passing one around. I have actually been consuming a lot of peppermint, it stimulates my mind and keeps me more focused.
I’m a senior in high school and every time I smoke I feel extremely tired. I’ll just find somewhere nice to sit and slump. I don’t talk, I just sit there blankly. I used to enjoy smoking weed whenever I was a novice, I smoked brown weed, what we called “reggie”. That was during my first two years of high school. I was more outgoing, I was active and really happy when I smoked. But then as I grew to know more and more people I made different connections with various people and the bud was supposedly getting better. Initially I loved the “better” stuff but after a while it felt as though I was addicted. Not only that but when I would look back at the times I was high I couldn’t remember a time where I’d had fun enjoying the company of others. Every time I get high now I just slump out and I become antisocial. If anyone still sold reggie I would buy that a thousand times before I would “dank”.
On another note I think that if weed becomes legal for recreational use it will diminish the quality and it will fall to something like tobacco. With tons of additives and special non natural flavors. Medicinal weed already has tons of different chemical additives that take away from the true healing properties of the marijuana itself. I truly hope it doesn’t become legal for recreational use on a widespread scale, it will reduce the quality and become a more manufactured substance than the natural plant growing in the dirt that it should be.
Even though I’m younger, I’m 18, I completely agree that 70’s bud and highs were way better than what they are today. I can’t verify for sure but I definitely feel like weed isn’t how it should be today. Weed can really mess people up nowadays.
@greenalke1, weed is turning into medicine. isolated phenotype’s stick certain strain’s with specific desired trait’s, and feminized seed’s are so that your crop actually yield’s bud. one male plant in a full room will homogenize the female plant’s into male plant’s and finish with seed’s instead of some Indo~fire.
@wtljr96, Trust me man, i’m pretty sure you don’t want brown weed anymore, the only real problem is your tolerance. I did the same thing my first couple years smoking, my supply was completely brown. Some of my friends had really good shit at times and I tried it and it was a completely new level of ridiculous, and after a while I started getting good shit myself, but as time went on I got further and further away from those magical “first highs”. When I get high now, I feel such a different type of high than I did before.
But that’s why tolerance breaks are awesome, even stopping for a week after constant daily smoking for years and I had a better high than I had felt in a long time. Moderation is key. Moderation and delicious THC blanketed buds.
Oh yeah, environment is really important. If I smoke in my room (which is somewhere I am a lot, and somewhere I smoke a lot) I sometimes hardly even notice my high. But if I go for a walk outside, travel somewhere I haven’t been or do something new, it makes the highs so much better. So yeah, variety is key too. And nature. Nature is your friend.