Can ‘friends with benefits’ ever turn into more?

3 years, 7 months ago

I’ve been messing around with this guy for a few months now. We started talking at work and exchanged numbers and were just friends for awhile. He’s super funny, like kind of an asshole funny- which i appreciate. And he’s just down to earth. Well… he began asking me out about a week after we started talking and i kept saying no because i just got out of a super long relationship.. He asked me out every week, even though i said no. eventually, i found out that my ex had started seeing someone else. so obviously, i texted him and said ‘let’s make out.’ since then our relationship has been strictly sexual. we went into it knowing that we weren’t dating, we were just messing around. unfortunately, since it started, i’ve been growing attached to him. i play it off like we’re still just friends and he has no idea i actually care about him… can this ever be more?

September 27, 2011 at 7:44 pm

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of Jeff Jeff (@pairodime) 3 years, 7 months ago ago

dont force it on him, or assume it will happen either. the important thing to remember is that everything must ‘flow’ into a man’s life. anything that feels too fast or slow for a man will not work. that being said there are things that he might say that could mean whether or not he wants a relationship

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of alive alive (@alive) 3 years, 7 months ago ago

well he was asking me out before all this started… like on actual dates and whatnot.. i’m just worried that now all he sees me as is a friend he calls when he wants to have sex. i feel like i ruined what could have been an actual thing had i not jumped right into this sexual relationship.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Ellie Ellie M (@tangledupinplaid21) 3 years, 7 months ago ago

I don’t think there’s ever a “one size fits all” answer to questions like this. It all depends on the individuals involved. I would trust your gut and like Jeff said, don’t force it… If I were you I would put the way I feel out in the open and see how he reacts. It’s so much better than playing games or keeping things ambiguous.

Edit: if he wanted to date you before I don’t see why he wouldn’t want to now, unless he is seeing someone else already. Maybe ask if you can finally take him up on his offer to date?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of jep jep (@tooth) 3 years, 7 months ago ago

sure it can turn into more….. my current girlfriend and i were FWB for like a few years before it turned into more. now we live together, and are moving halfway around the world together, well not quite but damn close….what sort of ended up happening was that we both had other people coming and going over the years, but somehow we would still always get together in the end. in other words, it was a GOOD thing that we werent “officially” a couple for that time, because we may have ended up breaking up because neither of us were ready at the time. just go with the flow, like other people are saying, and appreciate the person when youre with them. dont stress out if they date someone else because if/when they break up, you can still get together. see? FWB is a good thing!

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of alive alive (@alive) 3 years, 7 months ago ago

@jep i like looking at it like that. thanks.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Trisha Trisha (@trishashifter) 3 years, 7 months ago ago

yes

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic
What can you accomplish in 30 days? Join our site-wide challenge. Challenge Yourself

More Posts Like This

1

Profile photo of Belle Lexi My experiences with Stimulants

Two months ago I cam across this thing called research chemicals. I was very interested so I researched on it for about two weeks straight. First thing you should know, there is a lot of information out there and some is...

0
24

Profile photo of Portals [HE 30 Day Challenge] April 2015 – Project or Skill

Hello good people! This month’s challenge is going to be different from the others in two ways: The nature of this challenge will allow you to actually show your progress throughout the month, making it more useful...

93
1

Profile photo of LifeInMyOpinionLIMO Onomatopoetic

Onomatopoetic: My definition and I are one in the same. You can’t place definition on what derives it’s definition from what it is and what it may potentially be if said thing so chose. Ex. I cannot be...

0
2

Profile photo of Sean Yardley Happiness..

It seems to me, that what we as a people desire most in this life is happiness. We are constantly without end seeking out that good feeling inside of us that keeps us as a species trucking forward. There is something...

2
2

Profile photo of Clarza A Message to Humanity

Realize your true potential as a human being. Forget the imaginary restraints that have been placed before you by the academic system and the limitations you are told exist by science and religious teachings and look at...

11
26

Profile photo of Reynevan What single change would have the MOST positive impact on the world?

Could be societal, political, economical, etc. In other words, if we could only change ONE thing about the world to better our lives, what should it be?

93
32

Profile photo of Zykanthos So you've woken up – Now what?

Question: “What do you say to people who have woken up but can’t leave the system because of family and friends?” This and those like it pose a very broad question since we’re all different and need to be led of...

19
1

Profile photo of Zykanthos What Is The Universe Expanding Into?

Come on, admit it, you’ve had this question. “Since astronomers know that the Universe is expanding, what’s it expanding into? What’s outside of the Universe?” Ask any astronomer and you’ll get an...

0
3

Profile photo of vidapura The Condition (Opinions in the Morning)

Are my thoughts cloudy or clear? Am I asking questions out of curiosity or fear? Have my beliefs changed or grown? The principles, morals, and values sounds right, but something feels wrong. Blindly accepting guidance,...

4
3

Profile photo of SmokeUP1 Perfect Pitch

Straight to it.. I play guitar, will master the guitar in a couple years & I’m trying to mimic some things that great guitarists have done like train my ears to hear sound and physically be able to transfer it...

4
1

Profile photo of angstrem "Open system" is necessary for healthy relationships and friendship?

In interpersonal relationships, let “open system” be a state when they have some external inputs for their relationships. It can be a common activity or a hobby or an information supply, for instance....

0
1

Profile photo of joseph dobbs The nonexistence of self, or a 'person'

Well, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a self, or in a larger scales, a human being or any other animals. The only thing that exists is my consciousness, and it is free of race, color, gender,...

15
6

Profile photo of NTesla Love. Love. Love…

….just try to love. And understand. And show compassion. And trust. And encourage. And support. And listen. And learn. And grow. Let your emotions show. It’s ok to be vulnerable. It’s ok to not fit in....

4
1

Profile photo of Imperium my definition of worry

Worry is the fear of how you will feel emotionally or physically when a particular situation goes south. Fear is just negative power of imagination. It’s not real.

6
2

Profile photo of Raymond Foster True Happiness

    Don’t let the fear of things not working turn you away from what makes you happy because you will never know  if you don’t try. You only live once so live the way you want because...

0