Can ‘friends with benefits’ ever turn into more?

3 years, 6 months ago

I’ve been messing around with this guy for a few months now. We started talking at work and exchanged numbers and were just friends for awhile. He’s super funny, like kind of an asshole funny- which i appreciate. And he’s just down to earth. Well… he began asking me out about a week after we started talking and i kept saying no because i just got out of a super long relationship.. He asked me out every week, even though i said no. eventually, i found out that my ex had started seeing someone else. so obviously, i texted him and said ‘let’s make out.’ since then our relationship has been strictly sexual. we went into it knowing that we weren’t dating, we were just messing around. unfortunately, since it started, i’ve been growing attached to him. i play it off like we’re still just friends and he has no idea i actually care about him… can this ever be more?

September 27, 2011 at 7:44 pm

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of Jeff Jeff (@pairodime) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

dont force it on him, or assume it will happen either. the important thing to remember is that everything must ‘flow’ into a man’s life. anything that feels too fast or slow for a man will not work. that being said there are things that he might say that could mean whether or not he wants a relationship

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of alive alive (@alive) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

well he was asking me out before all this started… like on actual dates and whatnot.. i’m just worried that now all he sees me as is a friend he calls when he wants to have sex. i feel like i ruined what could have been an actual thing had i not jumped right into this sexual relationship.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Ellie Ellie M (@tangledupinplaid21) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

I don’t think there’s ever a “one size fits all” answer to questions like this. It all depends on the individuals involved. I would trust your gut and like Jeff said, don’t force it… If I were you I would put the way I feel out in the open and see how he reacts. It’s so much better than playing games or keeping things ambiguous.

Edit: if he wanted to date you before I don’t see why he wouldn’t want to now, unless he is seeing someone else already. Maybe ask if you can finally take him up on his offer to date?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of jep jep (@tooth) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

sure it can turn into more….. my current girlfriend and i were FWB for like a few years before it turned into more. now we live together, and are moving halfway around the world together, well not quite but damn close….what sort of ended up happening was that we both had other people coming and going over the years, but somehow we would still always get together in the end. in other words, it was a GOOD thing that we werent “officially” a couple for that time, because we may have ended up breaking up because neither of us were ready at the time. just go with the flow, like other people are saying, and appreciate the person when youre with them. dont stress out if they date someone else because if/when they break up, you can still get together. see? FWB is a good thing!

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of alive alive (@alive) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

@jep i like looking at it like that. thanks.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Trisha Trisha (@trishashifter) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

yes

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic

More Posts Like This

1

Profile photo of martha98 Happiness?

Is nirvana remotely possible for human beings? I’ve often been thinking about how happiness can become an everyday thing… and most of the time, it seems utterly impossible. How can someone be ultimately...

8
1

Profile photo of Ben Jammin' Lucid Dreaming Masks

I was wondering if anyone has tried any of these products that induce lucid dreaming by flashing small lights into a night masks. These are usually pretty expensive, but I discovered the Remee masks that runs around 90$....

6
1

Profile photo of Mad Hat Matt addrena ADD

hi, I’m first time user of addrena and wanted to know how many tablets I need to take to get that adderal high type feeling?

1
1

Profile photo of LVX The Big Bang Theory Is Wrong

Every single individual atom is alive with a unique consciousness Your mind is the ruler of these atoms, whatever you think attracts certain atoms with a similar vibration and motivates them to carry on life processes...

30
1

Profile photo of Mad Hat Matt My Husband isn't so loyal to me.

Hi I am 21 years old, I got married to my husband 2 years ago. We’ve been in a relationship for 4 years. We are having a rough patch in our relationship it’s pretty bad. I can’t really trust him like I...

1
1

Profile photo of Anil kumar I'm not satisfied with me

I am not so satisfied with me, my parents, Well wishers , friends all are the best one i got but only things here in my life i am not able to digest is its me. i am not getting any idea of what to do next...

4
8

Profile photo of Mad Hat Matt Can anyone else not smoke marijuana anymore?

Psychoactives definitely turn on (or off) a part of your brain every time they enter your system. No two ways about it. If you’re on the precipice of a thought or idea and you smoke, you’re either going to...

97
3

Profile photo of byebyebazman Where do you go?

When you die, where do you go? I mean sure you no longer interact with that which is (depending on your perspective)…but where do “you” go. Is it possible for you to escape the cosmos…and if yes...

16
3

Profile photo of JustinDanger The Rational Gaze and DNA

In 1998 Jeremy Narby published The Cosmic Serpent: DNA and the Origins of Knowledge. In it he proposed that shamans may be able to access information at the molecular level through the ingestion of entheogens,...

4
49

Profile photo of MonkeyZazu [HE 30 Day Challenge] March ’15 – Dream Journaling!

Is everyone super zen from last month’s meditation challenge? I hope so :) The challenge for March is dream journaling! Dream journaling is the practice of writing down your dreams immediately upon waking (before...

115
1

Profile photo of ELI var namnet Ethics on Polygamy

Do you guys think a polygamist lifestyle is ethical? Please explain!

11
1

Profile photo of ELI var namnet Knowing vs Living

What’s the difference, and/or relevance between knowing something philosophical-style, and actually living a new truth?

16
3

Profile photo of ELI var namnet Sexual/Emotional Chemistry – Why is this so hard to find?

So prior to meeting someone in person I had already developed an immediate connection with them online. It was 2 hours of back and forth jibber jabber (nothing serious, just friendly discussion as if we have been friends...

8
1

Profile photo of LVX I'm betting against VR being the next big thing

Google Glass and Microsoft HoloLens are both incredible feats of engineering and design. They may both thrive in certain niches and applications. But, they’ll never be mainstream. This is because neither meets a...

30
1

Profile photo of gilberth Cool Jobs

I am planning to take a year off after I graduate from U of O (go ducks by the way), and I would like to go abroad and live very simply for a year or two. I plan to work various jobs, and have heard of some cool...

5