Challenge: Doctrine of Discipline – A Pact with the Higher Self

@livelifeloving,

You’re right man, they are very limiting… thing is I’m still working off the excess energy from a very recent and profound epiphany haha. So I’m like really motivated and angry at myself so these rules are made intentionally limiting to keep me from regressing to my old habits. Trust me, though, I’ve come a long way but there are still a few things that I continue to do wrong.

You make a wonderful point about not following my own rules because I said that “no one should be told how to live”… you are right and that is the ironic and contradictory thing about these rules. It’s a contradiction that I am strong enough to overlook. I know it may not make sense, but understand that I do appreciate a free and unrestrained life… but my unrestrained thinking is hurting who I could be. So the gift and curse I have given myself are these rules: they are going to limit me until they become habit and I will be free again.

Thanks man, I appreciate your feedback:)

@shivvy,

Of course! Except that it isn’t any one thing. I will admit that the origin of my violent epiphany is mostly lost… I just have all the excess energy and motivation from it.

However, I will try my best to explain:
Like most people, on any given day, it’s all routine and grind. Although I’m not very routine-oriented, there are still those day-to-day habits that form a linear path in our lives. As nighttime came, and something very specific that happened… it hit me, like any epiphany. It’s like I stopped and witnessed my own self-becoming, my own suffering. Instead of being busy getting shit done I stopped and it clicked: I saw all the things that I’ve been doing to myself, all the causes that led to the effects. And just like that I was overcome with rage… rage at nothing and no one but myself. Your life is a success or a failure, a dream or a nightmare, solely on what you choose to make of it.

Just like that, I gave up everything that was destroying me: excess (not that I really indulge… I really don’t it’s just on the list of things I need to stay away from), overthinking/indecision, anger/inability to forgive, lust/motivated by hormones, being too apprehensive, etc.

I’ve always known these things, it’s just that I finally found myself again. We don’t have to have enemies… to have an enemy is a mutual thing, if I choose to forgive and be a friend, I can have no enemies. This logic can be applied to all things: everything in my life can be redeemed… no need to think that it’s too late. So long as I’m not six feet in the ground, there is still a chance.

Thanks man for your insightful question.

@shivvy,

Haha oh now I understand! No, my epiphany on death has little to do with what happens after. That is the whole point of it. People don’t realize that death itself is quite simple… what happens after is another story. I personally could care less if nothing happens or if the adventure continues, I’d prefer the adventure of an afterlife or reincarnation… but these things don’t even come into play when we finally understand the meaning of death.

Think about your problems. However little or soulcrushing (death of a loved one, losing an opportunity, etc). Then truly think about what it means to die… to be laying down, completely unable to change anything or do anything about it… nothing trumps death. We all die, we try too hard to avoid it, we try too hard to justify not doing what needs to be done… we die, we lose everything. There is nothing too insignificant to do or say, nothing too impossible to attempt. No one important enough to judge or stop you, nothing good enough to leave you satisfied.

There are things that run deeper than death: injustice, unrighteousness, a wasted existence. When I understood what it meant to die… there was nothing left to fear.

@livelifeloving,

I completely understand. You are the embodiment of a free mind and spirit… the world definitely needs more people like you. It is true: there is nothing that we are “supposed to do”, there are no expectations that we do not place on ourselves to begin with. Society is too swamped with habits and routine… we should just accept and be ourselves and stop trying to keep up with a status quo or build up our reputation.

The counter argument, of course, is that there are some people that are unhappy with who they currently are (not outgoing enough, not strong enough, not brave enough). If these people were to just look in the mirror and accept themselves, I am sure they would be greatly happy. But I also think that deep down they would regret never having found out what they could have been.

Sometimes we need to deny ourselves to find out who we are. If all the obese people just accepted loving overeating… then forever they remain obese. Being supermodel thin isn’t the solution either, but there are inherently self-destructive things that exist within each of us that we should not merely accept.

Thank you for your thoughts, have a great day man:)

@livelifeloving,

(hahaha that’s a good feeling to have)

I am fan of Osho’s philosophy and work, he really is a brilliant man. His methods for meditation are very powerful as well. I feel that your sense of freedom is very similar to his but as for myself I cannot say the same. I respect the man for his wisdom and knowledge: I try to learn and take away whatever I can from his teachings, but I remain steadfast in my own beliefs.
Of course my man, I understand. I do not merely preach though. I always practice the words that I spout out on here. I may become a bit overzealous or attached to these words that I say, but I always let go eventually and teach by example. It’s just that it’s hard to teach by example and through actions on a website (the argument is that you don’t at all) so I must turn to words to explain my reasoning to the people that read this site.
Understand, of course, that Osho preaches as well: he is right that to live the words is better than to speak them, but he is also preaching. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid using words to convey an idea and to get a point across.

It is true: self-acceptance is a beautiful thing. But still, the counter-point is that some people are born a certain way and deep down inside they know they are something different. It is true that some are aiming to live up to the expectations of others… but there are those that know deep down that they were meant to be something greater than themselves. When I deny myself, I am not denying my true self: I am denying my human weaknesses… if I accepted those weaknesses I would be too concerned with primal desires (sex, food, drugs, sleep, power). I deny them to find myself.

As always, I appreciate your thoughts!
Sorry for the late reply, I’ve been busy and I didn’t see that you replied. Hope your day went well man, mine did:)

@splashartist,

Haha, whether this doctrine does more harm or good is solely dependent on the one following it. The doctrine itself is lifeless and has no power over you: you get out what you put in. To become frustrated and suffer from upholding these rules is your own doing and no one else’s.

Thanks for your thoughts man!