Classic from friend to girlfriend dilemma
So, I have a really smoking hot friend. And she’s really awesome too, popular and all the stereotype hot, sexy, popular cool type girl. She has a lot of male friends, all of whom probably want to be with her. However I do consider me her best and closest male friend. And lately I’ve been thinking a lot about her (love wise), and it scares the shit out of me because I do not want to lose her. And no, “be honest and tell her what you feel, maybe she does the same for you, and worse thing that happen is a no”, is not going to work. Several previous incidents where her male friends have confessed their love to her, they’ve all been denied and she has had an awkward relationship with them ever since – I cannot risk that.
So, my question. Do you have any past experience, or suggestions, on how I can slowly seduce her? I’m already massaging her, but getting too close to her boobs and sensitive area is way off limits. Further I’ve considered “mere exposure effect”, and just let nature do its part, but even thats difficult. Gah, how to get out of this ridiculous friend zone without telling her/be too obvious?
Ps. I have no issue whatsoever to do a move on a girl as long as I consider it to be the best move.
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This is an easy question. Guys have been stupid and not figured out how to do this. Actions speak louder than words and this really simple action conveys so much but can be innocent too if she doesn’t reciprocate. When walking, grab her hand. I know it sounds stupidly simple, but if she doesn’t pull away she most likely is interested in you as well. Of course not always, but most the time. If she pulls away her hand then she isn’t interested, and you didn’t even have to say anything. You can just pretend it didn’t happen and try to move on. Holding hands seems juvenile, but it is such a powerful thing in the early stages of a relationship.
Man, move on if the tension has reached the point where you’re coming to HE for dating advice haha!
If you have to be indirect like that, then date other girls, learn how to be happy and awesome with or without her, and then one day you’ll play your cards right and just decide to both go YOLO on each other.
@beyond, It’s a matter of definitions… and women generally tend to complicate things a lot more… so the answer is both yes and no. Complications are a facade, a thin veneer of untruth.
As for the picture, I like it a lot… I can relate to it.
Thanks for replying guys. Really good advice that I will for sure take in to account. I will try the ten second stare later today (she invited me over for some lasagne), maybe that will create some kind of spark. And probably a wise thing being the different friend that’s not hitting on her directly, or confessing or whatever all the other guys have done.
And I guess if the being different – ten second stare is not doing the trick, the get drunk and grab her boob thing needs to work its magic. If she punches me, I for sure know we’re just friends, haha.
I think from a young age a lot of girls are conditioned to believe that if a guy wants you to be his girlfriend, he’ll make you his girlfriend. So, if that’s true, I agree that telling her (with confidence, I might add) might be the best way to go.
Since you spend a lot of time together, I would have thought it should be obvious if the attraction is mutual. Girls have a way of letting you know if they want you- And in this case, she doesn’t sound like a shrinking violet type or lacking in confidence in coming forward.
Just grab her for a kiss next time you part ways.. Good luck, oh and, do let us know how you get on- I am intrigued.
So…. The question is “How do I make a move on a girl, one that is obvious enough that she would interpret it as “Hey, this guy wants me” if she liked you, yet subtle enough to seem innocent if she doesn’t.”
That’s a hell of a question. Did I get it wrong?
@creds, Bro hate to break it to ya. If your probably her “best” guy friend thats probably where you will stay. Pay attention to her body language around you. Most likely if she feels the same there will be some signs. Thats not 100% but it’s probably the case.
lol. Giving awkward sexual massages is possibly the worst thing ever. If you seriously want to be more than an awkward hook up with her then you really need to change your approach. And honestly nothing is going to happen until either you or her confess.
I’m dating someone who used to be my best friend. We both liked each other for so long but my best friend at the time (not a good friend) told me that he liked someone else so I never did anything about it. I asked him straight forward about it and he was kidding around but I thought he was being defensive. He was like “WE’RE JUST FRIENDS.” but like a year later I thought we were “talking” and then he mentioned some girl he was going to hook up with and I got mad. And he kept bothering me on telling him why and finally I told him I liked him and he confessed to always liking me and now we’ve been in a relationship for over a year. People are always like “you two are STILL together?” and I honestly don’t see us breaking up any time soon.
So it could either work out or not. I also have a good guy friend who told me he liked me and I shot him down but we’re still great friends. It just depends on if she WANTS to get over that or not. Like if she’s gonna be a jerk about it then that’s her problem and all you can do is move on. There are plenty of people in the world lol.
@splashartist, I’m pretty sure you (and a bunch of others here) are right. She’s too comfortable with us just being friends, I think my case is a definition of being friendzoned (so thanks @donjaime23, appreciate it).
And haha, it really sucks, I have to give her texting advice to send to a bunch of jarheads.
Oh well, I’ll just do what @boribori90 says and YOLO the shit out of myself instead, real gangnam style.
RV Star kinda has a point… Making a joke is a good indirect way to test the waters. Watch her reaction without making it obvious you are doing so. If she laughs awkwardly with a slight air of disgust or “wtf”-ness, you have your answer.
@creds, I can relate to you so well. When I moved to PA when i was nine there was a girl next store, we became friends and i always had a liking for her ever since i knew her. But the older we became the closer we became, were eighteen now and have known each other for nine years. I really do love her, yet she does not feel the same way and it really does kill me, we’ve had sex before and it really complicated things. But the way we got to that point was because i was always there for her and always cared for her no matter what, it would really hurt me at times and sometimes it would hurt me too much seeing her with other people so much that we would just not talk for a time, but everytime we ignored eachother we both just ended up getting really hurt. But today we are still extremely close and i still feel for her and she loves me too but not in the way i wish, my plan though to win her over is just to be there. Every step of the way, girls want someone who accpets them, someone who cares for them, someone who wants them to have a good life, a girl wants someone who gives them freedom to be themselves, they want someone who opens the doors, who smiles at them, who puts up with there stupid girl bs. It will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but if you really do love her and want to be with her someday thats what you have to do. I know it seems hard and i dont even follow all my own rules, but from my experience i’ve seen that when i do those things for her it makes her soo happy. i can just tell that even though she has a boyfriend, theres still a part of her that holds on to me. It kills me to see her with someone else but i really do love her and want to prove that im just better, so im just gonna try and keep up with the crap and wait for the day. Good luck to you sir, just be you. Intimacy with someone comes with complete truth and honesty
You gotta go for what you want.
If you want great stuff in life, you gotta be willing to LOSE great stuff too. Gotta let go man.
There is no safe, never has been, never will be, it’s all an illusion.
Also, you’re afraid you might “lose” her? Well, first of all you obviously don’t even have her yet, at least no the way you want her, how can you lose something you don’t have? You can’t, mate.
Second, you’re gonna lose EVERYTHING sooner or later, you can’t keep ANYTHING forever, everything you have is just “borrowed” so to speak. You’re gonna lose that girl one way or another, sooner or later, may as well aim to get the most out of your time with her yknow. Instead of a half-assed half-measure friendship, why not at least try to get a deeper relationship, sex, maybe kids and all that jazz?
Why not, man? Why not aim for the best? Why settle for something you don’t really want? Hmm?
Also, all of your half-assery when trying to get close to her is definitely one of the main causes it’s off limits. Girls are like that yknow, when a guy is half-assing with them they find it creepy and/or annoying. Gotta be HONEST and DIRECT man, show some spine yknow, and some soul.
Life’s WAY too short for pussyfooting. Drop that shit. Let go and LIVE!
thank you for your post! I’ve decided to go on the awesome path, that’s where I feel most comfortable. And that means that I also end up having to confess my feelings to this girl. This girl that is nothing more than just a girl, so I should be able to man up and go for it. You pointing on my cowardness in this situation, and compared it to the rest if my life made me realize that you’re absolutely right. There’s nothing in me that’s not capable of this, I’ve just made her too complicated somehow. Tuesday afternoon European time I will execute the confession. No porn until next year if I chicken out. But again, thanks for a great post.
@beyond, as you may have seen I used some aspects from your post as well. The way I’ve somehow complicated me and my friends relationship has only made It too difficult to grow in to love relationship. So thank you, I will try to have a more thought through perspective from now on, not making it too complicated. I think that might ease up, making it easier to tell her what I do feel. Anyway, thanks for your contribution.
@birdflyinghigh, haha I would love to do that !
Thanks everyone for contributing.