Communication; Verbal versus Text

I relate completely. I never dominate conversation, especially with unfamiliar people. At best I contribute only a little, though I try to make that little bit mean something or push the conversation in (what I think could be) an interesting direction. It is interesting though, that merely being a wallflower can alter the mood of a group of people without actually saying anything. I always find I’m incredibly aware of my body language. For example, I’ll shift my weight to one side and whoever is talking (even if I’m only in their peripherals) will usually speed their speech out of an unconscious thought that I am board of them. This goes for a number of gesticulations such as swishing hair, scratching, or anything really. Of course, it always depends on who it is.

It really depends actually, the disadvantage of written communication is that it lacks emotions and body language (in face to face communication 80% of the communication goes through the body language) and that you cannot explain the context ad rem when you see that it is misunderstood or when it needs further elaboration.
I developed a lot in this field, where I used to be bad and shy with face to face communication, now I do not have problems at all (albeit communicating with an authoritarian figure gives me stress and can block my ease of communicating). So it depends, the more stressful a situation for me personally is, the less easier it will be for me to communicate adequately, but in general I do not have problems with face to face communication.

Anyway, the advantage of written communication is that you have more time to overthink what you want to say, giving you more space to use stronger arguments.
Also, saying things that are difficult to say are a far more easier through written communication. Not only because certain fears can hold me down in real life, but also because I do not find it always easy to say certain things that can be painful or hurtful for the receiver, even though it is with the right intentions. Also when emotions in a social situation get TOO high, I prefer to write a long e-mail or letter or whatever, to get to a neutral ground again.

I like both actually, but if I would have to choose then I would definitely choose face to face communication, because of the social aspect involved.

Nice topic!

“How do you prefer to communicate, do you find strengths and weaknesses in each?”

-Sure, there are some pros and cons of both, but…

“Do you speak better or type better?”

-My speaking is much better than my writing. Written conversation is extremely limited, words only make about 5% of human communication. The other 95% that are always there in real conversation are completely absent in written words.
This is made even worse by the fact that most idiots think they pick up these signals anyway, when they’re really just making shit up.

I use a lot of sarcasm, I swear a lot, use a varying vocal projection/tone, that shit simply doesn’t work very well in written words. There’s no flow or presence or attitude in text, there’s no deeper meaning, no subcommunication, just words.
My written communication is quite poor when I’m not in my native language.

But hey, at least one can get away with using fancy words that one does not know how to pronounce.

“Do you prefer when people email you about information, or talk (I’m going to assume it varies from person to person, friend to acquaintance).”

-Depends what information it is. I like emails because that means I have access to search engines and whatever is on the computer and so on.
So if they tell me about stuff I can just look it up, if they ask stupid questions I can just google it and not have to write anything. And if there’s a particular thing being talked about, it can just be linked or attached, very practical.
Plus, people tend to make a big deal out of things and get all dramatic, that’s not a problem in an email, because there is no drama, no feelings being conveyed, just words.

Not a big fan of talking on the phone, it’s weird. It’s like talking, but that other person isn’t there, and it doesn’t have that natural flow to it. And I’m not one of those people who always carries a phone around.

The best thing would be if people could just pop up and talk for real, but then again that would also get annoying very quickly, and you’d never get any alone time.

So I guess typing shit will have to do for now.

@ijesuschrist, lol if people don’t know me they think i write like a guy :O, as if guys are generally more straight forward or something, when i talk i seem an insecure little girl, my voice is also like a girly girl, so there is no match between what i say and how i come across…i love talking more but some things i don’t dare to say so i write them down..yeah i think i’m a better writer than talker, writing is much easier, but i’m not that goofy in talking either, it’s just you have more barriers when talking i think..

I think it depends on the situation. If the subject isn’t important or serious, I don’t mind using text to express myself, but if the subject is important or serious, I like to talk directly with the person(s). Like I wrote in another thread, I find it difficult to express myself in a proper way while using text – and the use of smileys doesn’t necessarily make up for it.
Also, the thing I like about texting is that it can give you more time to think about the subject. I like this because I’m not that good at giving an instant response.

@ijesuschrist, lol you always make me chuckle somewhere.

It depends on what it’s entailing, but generally I don’t prefer one over the other always.
it also depends on my relation to the situation – “am I more interested in how I present my info to people on this topic, or am I more in need of seeing their reaction?” Questions that tailor my preferences.
I *tend* to like speaking, but that is usually limited to face-to-face basis. In person you get SO much more information from body language and I like to rely on my “raw” responses because they are more candid and true to how I feel.
HOWEVER, I have a horrible tendency of having a brash personality and a straightforwardness that doesn’t sit right with a lot of people in person. It can be a little much for people and they can shy away without understanding that I mean it with good intentions and am only stating what I see to be crystal clear correlations.
With that in mind, although I like to fancy myself good with language in general, my love for directness with result in no filter and a lot of eloquence is lost since I don’t take the time to spell it out nicely. When I do it “raw” like that it is a race against me losing the words that flow naturally and make the statements I do.

So naturally, the upside to typing would be opposite – it gives me time to relax, objectively pick up my responses/emotions more and get a better 360 degree mental view on it. I like to explore every avenue to try and keep no biases. But when you immerse yourself in “raw” responses like I do, it’s hard to be as eloquent in the moment when you ride the nuances of the emotions of a conversation at conversation speed.

@ijesuschrist, I can have the same problems you used to have when texting, which is why I said I liked texting when it wasn’t serious or important – and I think “girl chasing”, as you call it, can be important if you mean it (like getting into a relationship with them).

@ijesuschrist, Haha, I think I might understand what you mean. Personally, I’m actually kind of scared of the “one-night stand”-kind of thing – don’t ask me why, though….

For me it’s all about face to face communication. I hate, and always have, talking on the phone. I get all awkward and feel uneasy because I can’t read body language or pick up on signals from people. Saying that I used to be shit and awkward at face to face communication too. I would write letters to people to express feelings and such…and actually used to write a lot more in general. I think my relationship is what changed that. It’s been a gradual process. I can express myself in front of anyone now.

Texting is alright but a bit of a pain in the arse, although I obviously prefer it to talking on the phone. And actually thinking about it I do struggle to express myself with writing now. It never quite makes sense, or I can’t seem to say it how I would say it, or people pick me up wrong.

@ijesuschrist, Ha, dude, there’s nothing wrong with flailing arms! I’m quite guilty of it too. But like I said it didn’t come naturally to me, it took a long time to feel confident during face to face communication, struggled to even look people in the eye sometimes. What about when you’re talking to people you feel really comfortable with? Do you still come across as shy?

@ijesuschrist,

If I’m chatting, and the flow/outcome of the conversation is not critically dependent on my words, I prefer to speak. However, I prefer to write during debates or arguments, whether they are academic or personal. While the personal connection is compromised slightly, my message is more clear and I can edit what I say before I say it.