Constant Anger

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bmarie (@bmarie)    1 year, 2 months ago

This is something I just wrote in my journal and I just thought I’d post it to see what your thoughts are:

So much anger possesses the world. Constant anger. Yelling. Fighting. Lying. Arguing. Accusing. Constant anger. Why don’t people want relief? Why don’t people want happiness? When did it become easier to hate than it does to love? Why is the world like this? Can no one see the beauty that surrounds us? Is no one else fueled by this loving energy? I feel it. Do others just have an angry force field around them, deflecting all sources of positivity? I feel the love all the time, even when things are bad. The love is always there, singing in my body. Either they can’t feel it, or the love can’t beat this nasty fight against constant anger. I truly don’t understand. People walk into situations knowing that nothing good will come of it. People wake up with their blood boiling. They wake up looking for an argument, looking for someone to bully, looking to yell. It doesn’t make sense to me. How has the world been overrun by this anger when there can be so much love? When happiness is so easily attainable? When love is such a better feeling that the tense, caustic nature of anger? Why is it so hard to be free of this negativity? Why is it so hard to see the beauty and just be happy for life? Why is it so hard to refuse the anger? I’m tired of living in a world fueled by anger. I’m tired of living in a world where loving is so difficult, but hate is second nature. I’m tired of living in a world where people are so blind to life. I’m tired of living in a world where the fight against negativity is an endless battle. I’m tired of this constant anger.

0 votes, posted 08.06.2013 at 10:27 am
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Ellie (@tangledupinplaid21)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, I imagine that their experience with being seemingly constantly focused on negativity and feeling angry is similar to your experience with constantly feeling the capacity to love. They may ask themselves how people can focus on love and positivity all the time when there is so much ugliness in the world. Both of these questions are completely fair and logical to ask, since there is an abundance of both in the world.

It’s pretty much a matter of what you focus on, which is a matter of habit. These people have simply spent a lot of time believing that the world is a certain way and as a consequence their reality echoes this interpretation, and they meet adversary and confrontation and anger-inducing scenarios seemingly without effort. They probably do not even realize that they have, in fact, expended a lot of effort on creating these circumstances via their thoughts and habits.

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Lord More (@lord)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, I’ll quote something you wrote:

“I’m tired of living in a world where people are so blind to life. I’m tired of living in a world where the fight against negativity is an endless battle. I’m tired of this constant anger.”

What makes you think such people wouldn’t be angry by how much unnecessary love they see in this world shown towards undeserved people. Everyone desires for inner peace, but to achieve that everyone’s got his own way. Some go by the way showing good loving gestures and maybe rest of us try doing the same, but to some extent. Anger is just another human emotion. People gotta respect it, least one can do is not make others angry.

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Ellie (@tangledupinplaid21)1 year, 2 months ago ago

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Filip (@filipek)1 year, 2 months ago ago

If you find the answer please let me know.

The thing is that not only the world, but the whole Universe is always in a constant battle to find a certain equilibrium. Opposite forces are fighting with one another, or being in harmony with one another (dependent on your perspective), because that is where all the energy flow comes from. The duality starts with atoms already where positive protons are fighting with electrons and therefore creating a certain perpetuum mobile. If this would not be the case, existence would not be the case. We need opposite forces in order for existence to be possible.

There is not more anger in the world than there is love, but we are very good at seeing the negative things overpowering the positive things, which in the end is only a label we are putting on it.

What I experience in my life is that the more positivity I radiate, the more positivity I get back. The more anger I project, the more anger I get back. We all have the power to change our perspective and we all have the power to choose. That is what makes life of mankind beautiful.

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Aalia (@Aalia)1 year, 2 months ago ago

I think high avidity is the cause of battles,fights and anger. Anger, happiness, silent, noise are signs of human nature but when a human use this signs more than normal measure so it would be danger. Constant anger can be cause of singleness or some family problems which is related to psychology and the person should refer to doctor.

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bmarie (@bmarie)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@tangledupinplaid21, Yes, I agree with everything you said and I understand it is a matter of how we interpret the world is what becomes our reality. I get that. I guess I just don’t understand how we’ve come to a point where so much ugliness goes on that people choose to focus on that so much. But you’re right that these people probably don’t even realize what they are doing. I guess I’m more tired of the part that the world appears so terrible to so many people that all they can do is be angry. Or maybe it really as terrible as it appears and I am blinded by my own desire to only see good. What you said makes a lot of sense though, so I’ll keep thinking about it to try to understand it more.

@lord, Yeah, I agree. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be angry. I get angry about a lot of things still because you’re right, it is just another emotion. But I’m talking about those people who are just angry all the time for what seems like no reason. Those who don’t care for any type of happiness. I mostly wrote this because I live in a pretty angry household where my mom is always mad about something. I wrote this specifically because she was yelling at my sister over one particular cup she had that she believes my sister used and lost, but it is more likely that my mom is the one who misplaced it. And I mean yelling in a very intense, angry way. It’s just disturbing to me. I guess I feel like a lot more people are extremely angry because I live in a house with people who are constantly screaming at each other. I don’t really know. But I’m not at all saying that people shouldn’t be angry for things that deserve anger. I just feel like a lot of people are angry more often than they are happy, or even just neutral.

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TheSkaFish (@theskafish)1 year, 2 months ago ago

My guess is that a lot of people are full of the pain of regret and the feeling of entrapment. They regret all they did not do when they chose to follow the “safe” path, only to realize that it wasn’t so safe after all. Now they’ve spent so much time stuck in lives they hate and feel like there’s no way out and they will never get to do what they really want, they will never truly discover themselves. They’re caught up in the work/bills shuffle and simply never have enough money to be comfortable. It’s enough to drive anyone over the edge. Speaking of driving, the road is a prime example. During business hours, the streets are packed, I look in other people’s cars sometimes and no one is ever smiling, no one is even getting into the sounds of the radio, everyone seems to have this same tired scowl on. And I think after a while, people get so accustomed to this being “life” that they become addicted to the misery, that without it, life would stop making sense.

Personally, I am beginning to get used to the idea that this no longer has to be MY truth, if I don’t want it to be. It’s taking a while but Rome wasn’t built in a day. I can break through my misery addiction. However, I feel that a lot of people are still stuck in it.

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, “I just feel like a lot of people are angry more often than they are happy, or even just neutral.”

I feel the exact same way.

People assume that they are sad if they are not obviously happy. But what they fail to realize is that there is a whole world of undiscovered emotion that exists outside of our vocabulary. Things we feel, but do not acknowledge. Like you said though, it’s better (and more rational) to be neutral than it is to be angry. And I would even go so far as to say that anger itself is always an inappropriate emotion; it’s completely unnecessary, though I know some would argue that it’s natural (for the record, I don’t think that it is).

The key is to understand that there are pros and cons to everything, and that the cons are out of our control, and that the pros are up to us acknowledge.

Your post was lovely, though.

Thanks for sharing it.

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bmarie (@bmarie)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@filipek, That’s good that you said we are very good at seeing the negative things overpowering the positive. That’s very true. However, I still do feel like there is so much more negativity. Every where you look, there are negative people. People getting mad over silly little things, people mad on the road, people mad because someone is in their way, people mad because they have to wait a little longer for something. It just doesn’t seem like there is much positivity going on. And I definitely agree with the more positivity you radiate, the more you get back and vice versa.

@theskafish, Yes. Everything you said I can relate too, and those are my thoughts as well. And that definitely makes the most sense because mostly everyone is stuck in that same “safe” cycle, as you said. With my mom as the lead example of this constant anger, every single thing you said is mostly the cause. And good for you for trying to break the addiction. I think I used to be the same way, just with sadness. I used to dwell on all the bad things going on and it never really made me angry, just sad. I think that’s how depression starts too, as an addiction to sadness. I’ve broken from that now and I’m happier than I have ever been. I’ve been trying to help the people in my family understand that they are choosing to be angry, because I do think anger is a choice, and that is what is limiting them so much. They can’t get away from the negative feelings. Thank you for your response!

@optimystic, I completely agree. Anger may be a natural emotion, but I feel like it is completely useless. Being angry doesn’t really help anyone, at least acting out on that anger doesn’t. I think a form of anger is fine because at some point you can’t just be completely passive or else bad things would never change, but being angry for no absolute purpose is useless. I am only really angry about things that I think need to be changed, like other people being angry all the time. And I’m only angry enough to make me feel like I should do something to help. The anger I feel most people have today isn’t anger for the right reasons. It’s anger because they lack patience or it’s anger because someone looked at them funny. It’s just petty, useless anger. Thank you for your comments!

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Filip (@filipek)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, “However, I still do feel like there is so much more negativity. Every where you look, there are negative people. People getting mad over silly little things, people mad on the road, people mad because someone is in their way, people mad because they have to wait a little longer for something”

Actually that is my point too. You seem to see more negativity but that really does not mean that there is much more negativity. It is just more conspicuous and therefore you think there is more of it, but if you pay closer attention to the positivity, you will be surprised how much of it you see. Also, try to walk around the streets with a big smile and you will be surprised how many people you will see smiling. Our default status is to walk around with a ‘neutral’ face and I believe that neutral reflects more negativity than positivity most of the time. I know very few people of whom their ‘neutral’ face looks more as if they are smiling rather than if they are angry.

True, that is the society we live in nowadays, everybody is spaced out walking around immersed in riots of fragmentary and discordant thoughts. It is like the matrix huh? Almost everything goes on auto-pilot. Try to recall a certain path you have taken million times already (say, from your house to the grocery school/school/work). Try to remember all the details (without taking that path first). Then go walk that path and try to consciously remember all the details. See how many things you have omitted and missed initially.

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Bryan (@Substratum)1 year, 2 months ago ago

Years ago my sister bought a “baby blue” Volkswagon Beetle…at the time I thought I had never seen one before. She took me for a ride in her new car; as we were driving, an identical baby blue VW passed us going in the opposite direction…I was surprised to see another like it…we drove around town for about 15 minutes. By the time we got back home…we must have seen a dozen identical VW’s.
In my world, every other car driving on the road is a baby blue VW…I see them everywhere…because they are really there…but obviously not as many as I “believe” I see…it’s just that I am sensitized to them…unconsciously I MUST be LOOKING for them…maybe you are sensitized to anger because of your familiarity with it…I think you might be projecting what is inside to the outside. I want to let you know that we , you and I, live in the same world, and I don’t see the quantity of anger in my world that you see in yours …and it wouldn’t surprise me if you think I’m hallucinating baby blue VW’s..

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LVX (@Vovinawol)1 year, 2 months ago ago

Living in the matrix, and not knowing it, makes even the best of us angry.
When the matrix is realized, then anger turns to sadness.
Then our true path will begin…if we let it.

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Carina (@misssunbeam)1 year, 2 months ago ago

I feel what you’re saying, but I think we all add our own anger into the mix. Me, I have been judging people lately, though I really try not to, and I despise them for being stupid. I think I’ve become a little affected in the head from an erratic sleep pattern, bad diet, and too much “fun”. Anyway, my feelings about others cause me to be more introverted and less excited about getting to know people and creating bonds. Yes I’m causing my own suffering, and I lash out at people near me. They in turn tell me I’m a negative grump, which really makes me feel much worse than better. It’s hard to believe that not all that long ago I was a very happy, positive, caring person who couldn’t help spreading the love…

Why are people angry? It’s simple, we think too much, sleep too little, and just don’t have the energy to enjoy every moment.

It’s easy to say “All you need is love” when you’re in the position to enjoy a stress-free lifestyle, but is that a state everyone can attain? Who’s there to show the miserable people how to be happy? Everything these days has a price, very rarely will a person hold a hand out to another to pull them up without expecting anything in return. So rarely that they need to make an independent film every time it happens.

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 2 months ago ago

I constantly stumble upon phrases that stop making sense in real life situations. ‘Irrational anger’? ‘Acceptable reactions to anger’? Let’s say a person is screwed over, being lied to about something and happens to lose their temper. Now let’s say the same person is being screwed over again about the same things, repeatedly. When does the anger become irrational?

Yes @misssunbeam We’re all having a neurosis party.

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Ellie (@tangledupinplaid21)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, well it’s very easy to focus on that stuff because it surrounds us constantly. Popular television shows and news channels, avoiding nature like the plague, and unhealthy food are the norm, and I’d say all of these are detrimental to mental health and well being. These things, by nature, leave us wanting and needy so our capitalist system thrives. If popular news channels and foods and activities lead to a positive self image and a feeling of emotional wellness, who would be out there competing with the Jones’ by working extra hours to update their cell phone and car and buy the latest hot shoes and by consequence keeping the system the way it is?

It’s easy to get sucked into what’s popular. In fact, these days, it takes no effort whatsoever. All you have to do is go to a restaurant and you’re assaulted with mainstream culture(I found myself repeatedly staring up at the TV when we went to a chinese place last night simply because it’s attention grabbing). It takes awareness and effort to NOT do so.
Popular media portrays perpetual dissatisfaction, jealousy, superficial preoccupation with outer appearance, and materialism as norms, so if you participate in it, watch it, read about it, etc, it’s easy to become indoctrinated to that view. No one is immune to it and it WILL have an effect on you. So that could be partially responsible for what seems to be a lot of negativity.

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Ray Butler (@trek79)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, I personally have made the connection to values, even morality, our values create attachments that we often build obsessions towards. In the case of some, it is a non morally designed attachment, and because it violates the idea of morality that others have, they react angrily toward that offender. Then the offender gets angry for others telling him/her what to do.

Other times it is morals themselves that drive the owner to angry and excessive emotional outbursts. Either way, you have this cause and effect cycle of potential for anger, and often it is cumulative.

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Ray Butler (@trek79)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, An example is love itself, we hold such a strong attachment and value to it, so that anything that occurs contrary to that definition we become agitated towards.

I said “The moral man, by his own principle, drives himself to immorality” If you think about Christians, their message is Love, it is the most important thing, but all the non love around them makes them angry, while some believe in forcing others to obey their definition of love. The result is the original truth of love is soured by ideals, preferences and expectations.

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Ardvrksf (@ardvrksf)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, have you ever considered that your life is so shallow and vapid that you never come up against adversity that would make you angry? Try being a minority that’s discriminated against whatever you do no matter how good you are. Try being so poor that you don’t know where your next meal is coming from or your house gets taken away from you and now you’re homeless.

Try dealing with having been sexually abused all your life. Or bullied. Or made some bad decisions that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Try having to deal with the scum of the earth on a regular basis and know that not one thing that you can do will make it any better.

Try having all your hopes dashed. Try LIVING a real life and not some peace-love-&-granoloa bars delusion and maybe you’ll see why people react to the world around them with HUMAN EMOTION. See, one of those emotions is anger.

Deluding yourself that everything is happy only means you’re deluded – not happy.

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@ardvrksf, I agree. Instead of pointing fingers that anger and rage are bad and intimidating, people could just relate. But they prefer to be ignorant and untouched. For some reason that relation happens more often when people are watching drama movies or reading books or listening to music and from individual perspective, because a role is presented to them. People have their heroes.

And I’ve never heard a powerful motivational speech that didn’t include a piece of anger in it. Or a song. It’s energy. It’s human. It’s fighting for something. What’s actually often missed to understand is that when people do relate to each other when they’re angry they simply extinguish it by making it a normalcy. What’s actually bad is repressing emotions, because not everyone knows how to express them in a relieving way.

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bmarie (@bmarie)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@ardvrksf, Oh my gosh. I was going to wait to reply to the stuff people have said today until I have more time, but I feel the need to respond to this now. I am almost positive that I am not a shallow person. No, I may not be a person who has dealt with those things, I may not be a minority, I may not be starving, I may not have been sexually abused, but believe me, I have problems of my own and I understand and am fully aware of the many problems other people have. I have been through a lot of bullshit within the past four years of my life. I have felt pain I never thought existed. And guess what, I am happier now than I was even before all that bullshit happened. Let me just explain some things. I’ve been shot at for something that I was not even a part of. The bullet hit my side of the car door. I’ve been emotionally abused and tormented by an abusive relationship my sister was in. The guy lived at my house. Constant negative energy, constant manipulation, frequent threats of suicide from this guy, so many things occurred while he was living with us. Things that I would cry about every single night of my life. Until one day I stood up for myself and my sister and he finally got the help he needed. For the past two years, I have dealt with a mother who is steadily progressing into some undiagnosed mental illness; obvious symptoms of schizophrenia and severe bipolar disorder. I have to deal with abuse caused from the things she does. I have to listen to people fighting and arguing constantly, sometimes things have even gotten physical, where I sit in my room terrified of what might happen. My own parents. My mom has punched holes in the wall. My mom has threatened our entire family. My mom has constantly made everyone in this house miserable by her illness, and I’m not saying it’s her fault so don’t even think about me under that category. She has almost gotten everyone hurt so many times by her careless actions. I cry so much and I feel so much stress from these things. I am put down so often by my own parents, maybe not as often as some people, but it still happens. I am still made to feel like complete shit.

So with all of this mind, how the fuck is fair for you to say I live “such a shallow and vapid life that I would never come up against adversity that would make me angry”. I do angry and I am pretty sure I have many reasons to get angry. You are acting like you know my whole life story and everything I’ve been through. Just because I’m a white female doesn’t mean I don’t EXPERIENCE things. The only difference between me and you is that I can let my past go. I don’t dwell on the things that make me angry because I know there is no point. Like you said, it’s not in your control. Being angry won’t magically make all of your problems go away. Being angry doesn’t help you change the way your living. Why do you want to spend your whole life being angry when you can just accept that things are not in your control and be happy? Be happy you are alive.

I do not get offended easily, so me feeling like I having to write out all of this is something completely new for me. Just because I am happy in a fucked up world does not mean I am delusional. It’s people like you that can’t see outside of your circumstances that are just allowing this destructive angry path to continue. And by the way, I don’t judge you for being angry because of those situations. I am not belittling your own experiences in anyway. I don’t think that you have no reason to be angry, because of course you do, but you don’t need to come here and post something so completely ridiculous just because I am happy. I acknowledge that the world around us is so screwed up. I never said it wasn’t. I’m not living in some magical fantasy world with rainbows and sunshine coming out of a teddy bear’s ass. Just because I have experienced things in my past, even some of those things are going on right as I speak, my mom is downstairs yelling and flipping out, doesn’t give me the right to be angry for all of my future. It doesn’t make me want to be angry for my entire future. It makes me want to be happy. And I am happy. Thank you for your response.

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bmarie (@bmarie)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@beyond, You guys are really missing the point of what I wrote. I am not even talking about people that are angry for normal reasons. I’m talking about those people who walk around being angry ALL THE TIME. Who just get angry about anything and everything that crosses their paths. There is a time and a place for anger, I agree. I agree anger can be used for good. But how often does that happen? How often are people giving motivational speeches because of their anger. No, most often they are yelling at each other, they are cursing, they are hitting something, they are acting out. This is what I am talking about.

I was angry in my last post, because I was extremely offended. I am not saying AT ALL that anger shouldn’t exist. Anger CAN be good, but my point is that so often it is not good. In the way so many people are today, that anger is completely unnecessary. This is my point.

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Ellie (@tangledupinplaid21)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@ardvrksf, hey there, I am HAPPY to tell you that I have lived some of the conditions you listed above. I was sexually abused as a child, and I’ve been homeless, and have been so poor that I could not eat every day or sometimes even every other day. And guess what? I’m joyful as fuck!!! so your argument kind of sucks.

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bmarie (@bmarie)1 year, 2 months ago ago

Also, this is to everyone who is saying that because I am sensitized to anger, that I see it more frequently around me than it really is, because it’s just what I notice before. I completely understand that concept, and that may very well be the case. But I also LOOK for good things people do. I look for the beauty in the world. It must be, because I see it so often. I DO notice when people do good things or say good things or are genuinely happy. And I’m not pushing that all aside just to make my case for this anger I see all around me. I see a lot of happiness whenever I go out, but I see anger probably twice as much. I observe people so often because I am truly fascinated by human behavior, so I don’t really know how much that concept of seeing what you want to see. I want to see happiness. And I do, but anger just seems more prevalent in the world. At least around me.

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@bmarie, Anger isn’t the issue, but the cause of it. I do get your point, but you’re not focusing on the problem, only on the result of it and generalize people like you know every single one of them. I agree that there are people that deliberately put themselves in a rage without being really angry at something for the simple reason that it’s intimidating and they enjoy feeling powerful. What’s the cause of it? Those people are usually the previously abused ones that couldn’t take anymore of others exploiting them. It’s rather sad if you ask me. But calling it unnecessary isn’t true. I cannot make sense of having UNNECESSARY EMOTIONS. I don’t even know what that means. :)

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 2 months ago ago

@beyond, emotions need not be acted upon. I think that’s what she’s saying, or at least trying to.

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