Deal-Breakers in Relationships
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@AARISHPATELL, “i think a lot of the other stuff you can train them to do properly or compromised” —
Romantic relationship turn-offs:
If he treats people like shit, like if his mum calls and he doesn’t answer – for no good reason.
If he’s unsure of himself and has a need to prove himself all the time and attempts to control others or behave threatening.
If he laughs at other people’s pain, and has no care and respect for others.
If he doesn’t like women.
If he brags excessively.
If he’s a chain-smoker.
If he thinks buying me expensive stuff will make me happy.
I have to be genuinely excited about them, stoked to be with them, happy to weave them into my life, they have to make me feel lucky…..sadly, this eliminates just about everyone.
Just like I really struggle working up the motivation to apply for jobs I’m not truly interested in, I’d have to struggle to work up the motivation to chase a girl that I’m not truly interested in.
She doesn’t listen to mainstream music
She isn’t prejudice
Honest with how she’s feeling and thinking (Doesn’t hide any feelings)
Confident and doesn’t blame other people for things
Doesn’t make permanent decisions based of a temporary feeling
Girls who DON’T constantly ask if what they said offended me (I like girls who are confident in what they say Dammit!)
Someone who allows conversations to have mutual control (meaning they don’t control the conversation and have only them talk, also I hate when girls completely depend on me to say everything because I like mutuality. Small talk really sucks)
For romantic relationships, I think less about what I don’t want and more about what I do. If you don’t meet my standards, then you’re not worth my time. Simple as that. But, you have to be my friend first. I realize that I can’t date anyone I’ve just meant. I need to know him or her for a while.
That said, for friendships, I’m very lenient assuming you can get over the wall I put up, haha. I’m still working on being a little more open with people, but the people who can are generally good people. I guess being a little cautious isn’t all bad–easy to weed out the less than stellar.
I will never, ever date another man who plays WoW. Had a couple bad experiences with a few men. Boys. Whatever.
Long story short…the straw that broke the camel’s back:
Surprised him with really hot lingerie. He had to raid.
I left and never looked back.
• is close-minded
• isn’t feminine
• is unhealthy
• is unfit
• is boring
• has no life on her own, just tries to ride my wave
• is dumb as a brick
• is a vegetarian/vegan
• is a frequent drinker/smoker/drugger
• watches tv, reads gossip magz and fashion/cooking blogs
• has a radical political stance
• has a bunch of mental hangups about everything
• makes a big deal out of things
• doesn’t do anything
• doesn’t have a sense of humour
• can’t say a full sentence without a “like” or an “errr”
• is generally annoying
• is no good in bed
• needs constant care and attention
…then she can fuck right off.
There is no place in my life for someone like that, if that’s what I wanted I would get a job taking care of retards and old people or something like that. But that’s not what I want yknow, I want someone that’s actually nice having around. Someone I can wake up next to and think “hell yeah,” not “god I hate my life” or “meh.”
A girl who has something to offer, that’s all I want, but it’s pretty fucking rare these days.
And for friendship, well pretty much the same things apply.
Don’t want no jackasses just trying to ride my wave. Those are not friends of mine.
Same goes for the people who “are just nice,” they have no place in my life, I do not care for their sickening lies and pathetic ways.
I don’t have high standards, really, it’s just most people having ridiculously low standards.
@manimal, I would have to put most of my list with yours. I like what you said about standards ”I don’t have high standards, really, it’s just most people having ridiculously low standards.” Everyone says I’m too picky, but maybe they just aren’t picky enough. I don’t want someone that isn’t going to be the best person for me and will not be a joy to be around. I would rather be alone then in some shit relationship because I dropped my standards.
-If she weighs more than I do. (No explanation needed.)
-If she uses baby-talk. I feel belittled when a girl does that–like she doesn’t take me seriously at all.
-If she’s a vegan. Look, I respect other peoples’ beliefs, but I need my significant other to love meat at least HALF as much as I do. It’s normal, it’s healthy, and it’s actually possible to find a place to eat out.
-If she tries to strong-arm me into doing something I don’t want by holding physical intimacy hostage. In other words, “You won’t do this? Fine. No sex!” It’s manipulative and assuming I’m no more than a caveman.
-If she bites (while kissing, being frisky, etc.) What, are you on bath salts? I’m completely NOT into that at all. It f-cking hurts!
-If she’s a bad kisser. If I was dating Mila Kunis/Jennifer Aniston/Halle Berry/whoever and they were a bad kisser, the relationship would instantly earn a shelf life. Period.
For me in a superficial sense actually it is lack of hygiene, and gross sounds. It is a pet peeve of mine that if a person hacks I curl up and say “DISGUSTING” I value most other forms of loudness of self, and in fact encourage it. Be who you are, dress how you’d like be honest about yourself. Just don’t be disgusting, clean up after yourself and I will politely do the say :)
As for more inter-personal reasons, I would say
The inability to want to go outside with me and explore nature and all it’s wonders, makes for a dull partner.
I want a person who likes spending time with me not because it is easy but because they agree with my values and morals, and like that about each other.
I have to be with someone that doesn’t make me feel crazy when I express radical ideas but still expresses how they feel and doesn’t shame me for believing otherwise and questions why I believe rather than belittle my opinion right off the bat.. (This is a hard one to find)
Strong religious views that interfere with our daily life. If you have to give money to the church when we need money to support the ignorance of a belief and feel good about yourself, then I am going to spend my money on things that make me feel good like a new PS3 and go on meditation quests and give a guru a shit ton of money. (Agnostic atheists are preferred)
I like a women that knows what she wants, and what she wants to do in life.
A women that is able to deduce things about myself I may have yet realized.
Even being a bit pragmatic from time to time Is enjoyable for debate porposes.
A women who is encouraging, and hopeful- though being un-hopefull I will be there for them regardless unless it is taken for granted
.Interested in the science, the arts and music, philosophies and books and video games are a win, because these are things I hold in high status and I wouldn’t find a lot to talk about without their burning desire to talk about it as well.
Anyone who is overtly cruel to animals, (don’t care if you eat them, no hunting, no abuse, big empathy for animals appreciated)
Lucky I’ve found a person that meets me half way and we can further ourselves through our darkest times.
We are strong on our own but invincible in the eyes of the challenges we face.
We would only truly grow apart do to carelessness. Relationships take work :) The kind of work that should come naturally.
I’ve actually been ignoring all those “values” or pro-claimed desires, at first it did make me Socially autistic. But never the less the pull for such desires are always at hand since my entire or anyone else has had the same conditioning for the appetite of a relationship building psyche.
But still i have tried to gain a romantic relationship in high school, but my pull for being oneself is to desirable for me and made quite unlikable you can say. And very tired to try to ‘build’ a relationship, and with that has actually made me socially unacceptable. People that care about Sexual intention such as in all relationships, and people that i know are stunned to find out I’m a virgin, but that has truly never bothered me. But Still is very confusing …
@everymorningbornfromtheashes, Big List…. No hunting, but eating animals is OK????
Only one big dealbreaker for me, not wanting to have fun and a laugh. In fun I would include meeting people, having a joke and going on mad ones. If you can have a good auld laugh with someone the rest will follow.