Deal-Breakers in Relationships
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She doesn’t listen to mainstream music
She isn’t prejudice
Honest with how she’s feeling and thinking (Doesn’t hide any feelings)
Confident and doesn’t blame other people for things
Doesn’t make permanent decisions based of a temporary feeling
Girls who DON’T constantly ask if what they said offended me (I like girls who are confident in what they say Dammit!)
Someone who allows conversations to have mutual control (meaning they don’t control the conversation and have only them talk, also I hate when girls completely depend on me to say everything because I like mutuality. Small talk really sucks)
@manimal, I would have to put most of my list with yours. I like what you said about standards ”I don’t have high standards, really, it’s just most people having ridiculously low standards.” Everyone says I’m too picky, but maybe they just aren’t picky enough. I don’t want someone that isn’t going to be the best person for me and will not be a joy to be around. I would rather be alone then in some shit relationship because I dropped my standards.
I have to be genuinely excited about them, stoked to be with them, happy to weave them into my life, they have to make me feel lucky…..sadly, this eliminates just about everyone.
Just like I really struggle working up the motivation to apply for jobs I’m not truly interested in, I’d have to struggle to work up the motivation to chase a girl that I’m not truly interested in.
Deal breakers in relationships is for me (ME) to blame, complain, criticize, judge, need, care. There are no deal breakers as far as the other person goes because it is totally within my power to accept.
For me in a superficial sense actually it is lack of hygiene, and gross sounds. It is a pet peeve of mine that if a person hacks I curl up and say “DISGUSTING” I value most other forms of loudness of self, and in fact encourage it. Be who you are, dress how you’d like be honest about yourself. Just don’t be disgusting, clean up after yourself and I will politely do the say :)
As for more inter-personal reasons, I would say
The inability to want to go outside with me and explore nature and all it’s wonders, makes for a dull partner.
I want a person who likes spending time with me not because it is easy but because they agree with my values and morals, and like that about each other.
I have to be with someone that doesn’t make me feel crazy when I express radical ideas but still expresses how they feel and doesn’t shame me for believing otherwise and questions why I believe rather than belittle my opinion right off the bat.. (This is a hard one to find)
Strong religious views that interfere with our daily life. If you have to give money to the church when we need money to support the ignorance of a belief and feel good about yourself, then I am going to spend my money on things that make me feel good like a new PS3 and go on meditation quests and give a guru a shit ton of money. (Agnostic atheists are preferred)
I like a women that knows what she wants, and what she wants to do in life.
A women that is able to deduce things about myself I may have yet realized.
Even being a bit pragmatic from time to time Is enjoyable for debate porposes.
A women who is encouraging, and hopeful- though being un-hopefull I will be there for them regardless unless it is taken for granted
.Interested in the science, the arts and music, philosophies and books and video games are a win, because these are things I hold in high status and I wouldn’t find a lot to talk about without their burning desire to talk about it as well.
Anyone who is overtly cruel to animals, (don’t care if you eat them, no hunting, no abuse, big empathy for animals appreciated)
Lucky I’ve found a person that meets me half way and we can further ourselves through our darkest times.
We are strong on our own but invincible in the eyes of the challenges we face.
We would only truly grow apart do to carelessness. Relationships take work :) The kind of work that should come naturally.
I’ve actually been ignoring all those “values” or pro-claimed desires, at first it did make me Socially autistic. But never the less the pull for such desires are always at hand since my entire or anyone else has had the same conditioning for the appetite of a relationship building psyche.
But still i have tried to gain a romantic relationship in high school, but my pull for being oneself is to desirable for me and made quite unlikable you can say. And very tired to try to ‘build’ a relationship, and with that has actually made me socially unacceptable. People that care about Sexual intention such as in all relationships, and people that i know are stunned to find out I’m a virgin, but that has truly never bothered me. But Still is very confusing …
@AARISHPATELL, “i think a lot of the other stuff you can train them to do properly or compromised” —
Romantic relationship turn-offs:
If he treats people like shit, like if his mum calls and he doesn’t answer – for no good reason.
If he’s unsure of himself and has a need to prove himself all the time and attempts to control others or behave threatening.
If he laughs at other people’s pain, and has no care and respect for others.
If he doesn’t like women.
If he brags excessively.
If he’s a chain-smoker.
If he thinks buying me expensive stuff will make me happy.
I would love to say I’m not shallow or slightly phobic without just cause but then I’d be nearing perfection, which I’m not and be lying which Irritates me…there is no person or kind of person I hate or disk like based on skin color or sexual orientation I just have a bias and a type blonde tan and blue eyes I stay closely to that. Also none of my preferences have anything to do with the other person they all stem from my own fears issues etc.
-Fat/overweight (I’m looking for people to push me mentally, if I look better i slack off)
-If you hit on me especially in a creepish way
-compulsive use of ‘like’
-vegan/vegetarian AND PUSHY ABOUT IT
-make me a sandwich
-420 smoker (this is no longer valid but if anyone other than my current bf like a future one did it would be intolerable idk why my bf now is the exception)
-pasty white (vampire)
For male friends:
-hits on me
-nonstop talking about sex
-24/7 party boy
-disloyalty to a bro especially a best friend
-abusers wife/gf beaters
For female friends:
-Homosexual orientation (had this fear a long time stems mostly from a past of emotional abuse from females and dislike of female gender)
-slutty/whore attitude, cheaters
That’s all I can think of at the moment, basically I hate cheaters physically abusive controlling bossy backstabbing disloyal people. I also can’t stand the I’m too rich for this room attitude. Give me chill smart people I can hangout with and not end in drama!!
@chekovchameleon, It is good to be picky considering meaningful relationships wind up just hurting everyone haha. I included things I appreciate not just deal breakers.
It is a strange concept I suppose it is even hypocritical. But free range animals whoms propose is to produce (eggs food cheese products (products it already makes in a non intrusive way) and animals given healthy food and a good life raised in a good place fed well with adequate space to live and breed seems like a waste to not eat the nutritious meat left behind. Like the natives of America knew not to hunt in excess and pic away the beasts that died off of old age. And thanked the animal in deeply before consumption, I justify my natural urge for meat with the circle of life. But that doesn’t mean I am not sentient enough to understand what beings experiences pain. I try my hardest to not go looking for violence with animals, very pure and innocent Earth inhibitors like myself. My fiance’ is vegetarian, and I eat organic free range. That is my life style, so that is my justification on why I do what I do. What are your opinions on that??
About the only reason I would not be with a woman is if she was not in to me. But I would like her to take care of herself and have confidence, I don’t mind if she is a big girl as long as she is not dirty or shy. Not a fan of morbidly overweight though.