Deal-Breakers in Relationships
Do you have any? This can be any sort of relationship. Romantic, friendship, etc.
What has shaped them? In other words, how did you come up with them and have you ever ignored them?
No deal-breakers, everyone is unique and I am different from everyone in all ways.
-If she weighs more than I do. (No explanation needed.)
-If she uses baby-talk. I feel belittled when a girl does that–like she doesn’t take me seriously at all.
-If she’s a vegan. Look, I respect other peoples’ beliefs, but I need my significant other to love meat at least HALF as much as I do. It’s normal, it’s healthy, and it’s actually possible to find a place to eat out.
-If she tries to strong-arm me into doing something I don’t want by holding physical intimacy hostage. In other words, “You won’t do this? Fine. No sex!” It’s manipulative and assuming I’m no more than a caveman.
-If she bites (while kissing, being frisky, etc.) What, are you on bath salts? I’m completely NOT into that at all. It f-cking hurts!
-If she’s a bad kisser. If I was dating Mila Kunis/Jennifer Aniston/Halle Berry/whoever and they were a bad kisser, the relationship would instantly earn a shelf life. Period.
-Acts dumb on purpose/hides their true intelligence. It’s a bummer that some girls still in this day and age think dumb = cute. Well, as a guy, I can tell you that it’s not the case.
-Not a huge fan of capitalists/republicans/neocons, people who think money/status/family pedigree makes you better than someone. Though I probably won’t have to worry about this because I don’t think someone like that would ever be interested in me anyway.
-Not reading is also a bad sign.
-Excessive alcohol and marijuana use, and any and all super hard drug use (hallucinogens are ok though! I’m just saying, no crack/powder cocaine/heroin/meth etc. fiends….I’m not here to clean up their mess).
-No STDs, obviously.
– I’m not a huge fan of cigarette smokers, the smell is pungent and I can’t imagine how kissing one would taste very nice. Though I would not say it’s a dealbreaker because I can always hope/inspire them to quit.
-No gangsters…..I realize gangster girls are rare but all the same I don’t want to be there when shit hits the fan.
-Kids…..would have to think it over…..I know I won’t be ready for kids for a while and don’t really want to take care of some deadbeat’s kids that aren’t even mine. I would if I absolutely had to, but I really don’t want to…..that’s what their dad should have been for.
-Girls who play mindgames……mindgames are a waste of my youth and I won’t have it.
-No dreamkillers, people who always shoot down things as unrealistic. No haters on things like fantasy, which I am into. I guess that’s it!
I will never, ever date another man who plays WoW. Had a couple bad experiences with a few men. Boys. Whatever.
Long story short…the straw that broke the camel’s back:
Surprised him with really hot lingerie. He had to raid.
I left and never looked back.
For romantic relationships, I think less about what I don’t want and more about what I do. If you don’t meet my standards, then you’re not worth my time. Simple as that. But, you have to be my friend first. I realize that I can’t date anyone I’ve just meant. I need to know him or her for a while.
That said, for friendships, I’m very lenient assuming you can get over the wall I put up, haha. I’m still working on being a little more open with people, but the people who can are generally good people. I guess being a little cautious isn’t all bad–easy to weed out the less than stellar.
She doesn’t listen to mainstream music
She isn’t prejudice
Honest with how she’s feeling and thinking (Doesn’t hide any feelings)
Confident and doesn’t blame other people for things
Doesn’t make permanent decisions based of a temporary feeling
Girls who DON’T constantly ask if what they said offended me (I like girls who are confident in what they say Dammit!)
Someone who allows conversations to have mutual control (meaning they don’t control the conversation and have only them talk, also I hate when girls completely depend on me to say everything because I like mutuality. Small talk really sucks)
I have to be genuinely excited about them, stoked to be with them, happy to weave them into my life, they have to make me feel lucky…..sadly, this eliminates just about everyone.
Just like I really struggle working up the motivation to apply for jobs I’m not truly interested in, I’d have to struggle to work up the motivation to chase a girl that I’m not truly interested in.
@aarishpatell, “i think a lot of the other stuff you can train them to do properly or compromised” —
Romantic relationship turn-offs:
If he treats people like shit, like if his mum calls and he doesn’t answer – for no good reason.
If he’s unsure of himself and has a need to prove himself all the time and attempts to control others or behave threatening.
If he laughs at other people’s pain, and has no care and respect for others.
If he doesn’t like women.
If he brags excessively.
If he’s a chain-smoker.
If he thinks buying me expensive stuff will make me happy.
1. Critique and reason is not hating.
2. Vegetarianism has nothing to do with higher consciousness… and if you think it’s a higher level of BEING then you’re just a bigot. Seriously.
3. Whatever ideology you prefer, it’s just an ideology. Doesn’t make it the one path, or the higher path. There’s lots of different people here, and some can think for themselves yknow.
So, yeah, take a look in the mirror and you shall see that you’re the hater.
Common mistake, it happens to everyone, just assess the situation and move forward.
Peace and love
Deal-breakers …hmmm I guess this really depends on what I found attractive in the first place. Yes there are some things I like and dislike as a cut and dried rule which are the obvious such as taking care of oneself, including personal hygiene, caring enough to at least put some effort into what they shove in their mouth, personal appearance etc etc. But for the most part I am willing to oversee a few flaws for the right person.
A good blend of intelligent conversation, they must be passionate about something… able to have a laugh and not take everything I say to heart. Freedom is a big one for me, I love my space. Besides isn’t that the time when your partner does their own thing too? Yeah anyway I could prolly list a few more things if I thought about it deeply enough but when I meet someone I tend to focus on the good things until something pops up that makes me squirm, then weigh up the pros and cons of whether or not squirm x has more of an impact than what I do like about them.
Cheating or not including me in something I would have loved to do. I would rather be told straight to my face “hey, me and my other friend want to hang out alone this week” than to find out later then have excuses made.
Maybe not to you, and I would say the same about you.
You are, of course, entitled to your opinions… and, of course, I do not care about your projection.
Nothing’s wrong with disciplined, compassionate, passionate humans. Those are the best.
Ideologists, however, are not of that category. They like to think they are, but they’re not.
They like to make up silly non-arguments for their ideologies, in the case of vegetarians a good example would be the notion that their fanatic lifestyle is healthy… which it isn’t at all. Or the pretentious claim that they have more respect for life… but when it comes to fish and plants its ok to be as brutal as you want… hilarious.
You see, intelligence is something I value highly, something I love, something I enjoy and admire. Intelligence is not only very attractive, it also improves a woman’s performance in relationships.
I love intelligent women, they’re the best… and ideologists are just plain dumb. Not just dumb, but they also like to preach their shit and whine and nag and generally be a thorn in everybody’s side.
Nobody in their right mind wants to keep that around.
I know what I want, and I know what I deserve. While you may think I’m not worth much, there’s plenty of others who disagree. I’m not some run-of-the-mill couch potato good for nothing pseudo-man, I have some qualities yknow. And I don’t want some dead weight who doesn’t match that.
While I have these demands, I also expect to be put to the test thoroughly.
It’s all or nothing, I don’t do half-hearted pointless relationships.