So I was wondering if you guys get this too..
I’ve found it interesting when interacting with people that some people straight off the bat I can get along with great and just start rambling. And others I have trouble interacting with and get kind of anxious. Do any of you guys experience this? It feels great interacting with people when you know they don’t judge you or anyone. It feels free. It’s great! But I’m starting to think I feel anxious and shy when interacting with certain people because it feels like they’re judging me. I’m not sure if they are or not (for some reason I feel it to be true that they are), but yeah, do you guys get this? You change a lot depending on who you are talking to?
Enjoy your day people!
haha yeah, it’s great. all of a sudden you realise they’re ramblers as well and you kind of think “hey, you’re crazy too. let’s be crazy together for the next few minutes! wooh!” …it’s funny. and other times you might just get a strange look and you shut up then. it’s so funny. it’s a shame everyone isn’t just a little crazy. haha.@aloofcat,
@cloudstuck, my first post on this website! and yes I do feel this way, I think a lot of people do. I think sometimes it’s the vibe they’re giving off, if they seem very confident, articulate and brain-peircing.. I hold myself back a little. I’m more of the casual, joking, laughing, randomly stuttering, comfortable type. So it’s easier for me to talk to similar personalities. I do change depending on who I’m talking to, I think it’s kind of a natural thing to adapt to where the conversation is going. Some people know a completely different side of me than the next person, and some people have a deep understanding of me versus shallow.. it just depends on compatibility and interests
@kyzer, Yeah, totally. It felt quite two-face to realise this, that I am completely different when it comes to interacting with certain people, but then I realised I am not the same “dead-rock” person, I am a malleable, adaptive organism that doesn’t exist without my surroundings. I am who I am through the people I interact with. They shape me just as much as I shape myself. It’s really cool.
@cloudstuck, agreed. and it also depends on if they are someone novel or known. when its a first conversation you’re continuously adapting.. once you become familiar with this person, depending on how you interacted with them this first time around you may become more comfortable with them.. thus showing a completely different side than you initially did. It all really just depends.. and it is very interesting.. if I asked one of my professors to write a paragraph on me, one of my co-workers, and one of my roommates.. they would all say completely different things because i have different types of relationships with each
Yes, I’ve found that gut instinct is reliable. Weakness in the stomach almost always means back down, pain in the heart means I’ve mucked up somehow and someone’s pissed (The heart can “think” on its own somewhat), general uneasiness means something’s not right.
Let us not forget about body language. We are constantly communicating wether we realize it or not.
I saw this TED video the other day, http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html
“Do any of you guys experience this?”
-Everyone does, to varying degrees.
“But I’m starting to think I feel anxious and shy when interacting with certain people because it feels like they’re judging me. I’m not sure if they are or not (for some reason I feel it to be true that they are), but yeah, do you guys get this?”
-Why do you care about being judged? Hmm?
What does it matter? How does it affect who you are?
It doesn’t, you should stop thinking like that, because it’s only holding you down.
I don’t get that feeling, because I’ve left that bitchy reactive thought space, but of course I felt like that in the past.
“You change a lot depending on who you are talking to?”
-I don’t, I barely change at all. I’m comfortable with who and what I am, I’m not ashamed of any of it. Why would I be? I like me, and I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about that. It’s none of my business.
So why on earth would I change?
I behave the same way when I’m talking to my buddies as I do when I talk to my grandma, or a stranger, or a hot lady. That’s me, my behaviour, my true colours.
I don’t cover up and act, trying to be a social chameleon, that’s just fucking lame.
Be proud of who you are, and be fucking honest. BE REAL.
Doesn’t matter what others think of you.
Reactivity is the bane of individuality and honesty.
I’m really shy, so it’s hard for me to talk to people I don’t really know. I just kinda go by the vibe I get off of a person. The people I click with off the bat, are the ones I know aren’t going to think I’m a crazy person. The other people, I don’t waste my time with. I don’t want to constantly be wondering what they think about me during a conversation. It’s hard to be the same person around everyone. It’s not an issue of being fake, it’s more a matter of different people give you different things. Some people I talk to because I know they’ll make me laugh, there are others I turn to when I want to talk about something serious, and so on. I’m proud of all my sides, its just I show more of one side to some people and other sides to other friends. To me it seems odd to talk to everyone the same way, and to communicate so easily with everyone. I wouldn’t talk to my boss the way I talk to my husband because my boss will be judging me. If my boss is bothered by that then I’m out of a job. Being judged matters whether we like it or not. We have to change according to the situation. I get that anxious feeling all the time, so I just go with the flow and trust my instincts on who to talk to, and who I’m never going to click with. I’ve also found that when you open up to a person and they see a side of you no one else knows, then the relationship becomes so much more special. If you stay the same all the time, how can someone know that they have a bond with you that is much more than you have with others? But that’s just my thoughts on the matter.
I think it’s important to look at how you yourself are interacting with people; and how you are in that particular moment. If you are in a bad mood, or not your usual open, loving self, than the person will subconsciously pick up on that and that will definitely affect how the conversation and relationship continues.
I’ve heard the feelings you get and the feelings you generate towards people described as vibrations or auras; a certain energy that you tinker with depending on your different moods.