Do ya get it?

2 years, 4 months ago

ladies and gentlemen, lend me your ears.. eyes, and behold the great truth i have uncovered, serendipity plays a role in its discovery, my wife and i were talking one evening out by our fire pit, the conversation was playful and light, the clear night sky providing a perfect background, the crisp in the air keeping our minds active, as cold stimuli usually does,

but i could tell something was wrong, my wife seemed tense, ill at ease, something was clearly distracting her and the more i looked, the more i became aware of a rising distraction in my own psyche, i paused… what is this sensation? gradually i became aware of the sensation’s source, it was physical in nature and the more i directed my mind at this thought, the source revealed itself, i had to pee, really bad…

the moment i realized this my wife stood up, and pronounced, ” i am going to pee ” and everything pieced itself together, THAT, was the distraction that was bothering her, and then i uttered the statement that led to the great TRUTH,

“Neener neener neener, you don’t got a weiner”

i can pee outside while she has to pee inside.

**BOOM** my mind exploded, i looked like the HE logo guy, awareness flooding the crater the blast created, that phrase could be used in a literal way that made SENSE! it was not just a way to ignorantly degrade girls,

this insight rushed through my head, creating new scenario pathways, “Weiner means no menstration” “Weiner means winning a pissing contest” (yes, i know ladies, you can pee pretty far too, but we have a hose that protrudes outside the body that gives us the advantage here, sry, we win, we have the weiner)

the possibilites seem endlessss

December 2, 2012 at 10:51 am

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Profile photo of Starry Eyed BLiND. Starry Eyed BLiND. (@cristinelizabeth) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@tine, I don’t think you’re the first to realize this bud. Hahah.

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Profile photo of Tine Tine (@tine) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@cristinelizabeth,

=D i know, this is just a silly lil muse, meant for your enjoyment, and my enjoyment of creating, and of course, a dash of irony is always good, which we will see more of, as the stage unfolds

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Profile photo of Starry Eyed BLiND. Starry Eyed BLiND. (@cristinelizabeth) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@tine, Well it was a cute little read, My friends and I always joke about how we’re jealous we don’t have a penis cause you guys can just piss on anything and be cool lol. As the stage unfolds? explain? hahah

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Having a dick is pretty sweet. Peeing standing up, fucking chicks, peeing far, helicoptering…

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Profile photo of Starry Eyed BLiND. Starry Eyed BLiND. (@cristinelizabeth) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

Not trying to be vulgar but, When a guy fucks a girl it’s pretty much marking your territory like yeah i banged her, and you like have the power to make her like weak with your dick or like tease her, and either way she just wants it and it’s up to you which road you want to take, going HAM and like beast mode, or like being tender ahah. The ending result is if you did it right, she’ll stick around for more.
^nothing to do with this post for the most part. hah my bad

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@tine, Women can’t take a piss outside? That’s the strangest shit I’ve ever heard? They do it all the time, and yknow, humans didn’t always have houses. There was a time when there was no indoors. And even so, people didn’t piss or shit indoors until very recently.

I actually believed in that length pissing stuff too, but I’ve seen evidence of the opposite. I once saw a girl piss a distance of several meters (why did I even witness that you ask? Well, viral e-mails can be very weird.) and I’ve never seen a guy do anywhere close to that.

The hose doesn’t push, so technically it’s just reducing the power of the stream.

But yknow, I highly doubt that girls can write their name in the snow like we can, and that’s not something to take lightly.
Girls can’t do water bombs, but neither can circumcised dudes.

Women can’t scare predators away with their piss, we can.

Having a dick is good times, great times.
But those reasons you offered simply aren’t valid at all.

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It’s swell to have a stiffy.
It’s divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world’s biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don’t take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won’t come back.

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@cristinelizabeth, Don’t you think that’s a bit one-sided?

Who gossip more about sex? Men or women? Women, right.
And think about those idolized sex symbols that everyone wants to fuck just because they’re highly regarded territory, most of those are males. And there’s millions of girls screaming their lungs out at the mere sight of this territory.

You can make a guy weak with your pussy too, and you can tease him with it just as much as he can tease you with his pecker, if not more. You can be the one to trigger his beast mode, and then he’ll be coming back for sure, again and again, willing to do a whole lot for that sweet sweet fucking.

Good pussy is very addicting, and as we all know it’s quality above quantity, a girl can easily claim a man for herself if her fuck is good enough, and then he won’t be looking elsewhere.
Not just the pussy, the seductive powers of women are very underestimated, because most don’t know how to use them.

Women can tame men just like men can tame women.

And this might sound a bit chauvinist, but women have much more use for a man sticking around than vice versa.

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Profile photo of Starry Eyed BLiND. Starry Eyed BLiND. (@cristinelizabeth) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@manimal, This is very true, girls want it more than they guys know they just want someone who knows what they want and what they like. I know the power of the pussy ahahah. I have one, I know how to be seductive it’s quite easy. Starting with just eye contact. That ‘Look’. I was just stating that guys need to play along with the power roles and let the girl know that he’s the man, and I can make you forget your name and then i’ll say it out loud and you remember it again hahaha. Sweet fucking indeed. So sweet you forget all you ever thought about and you want that feeling all throughout the day. What do you think makes a good fuck then, from a guys point of view.

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@cristinelizabeth, True, true, but it’s important to show that you’re a Woman too, not just some girl who just wants validation.

I think the most important aspect of a good fuck is to not be timid and stifled, to just fucking do what you want and be proud of it. I’m so sick of girls who are all shy and apologetic about it, who won’t take any initiative whatsoever, who just lay there like a dead fish. Girls who can’t take a good fucking or even make it worthwhile.
Also, stamina, it’s such a buzzkill having to stop because the girl’s cardio capacity isn’t good enough to keep up, or when she suddenly gets all timid and can’t keep going, or other stuff like that.

The best fuck is getting so lost in it that there is no “me,” just the action I’m carrying out, and the effects it’s generating. Going ham til I get too exhausted to keep it up, and can just lay back with an empty mind and enjoy her presence fully.

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Profile photo of Tine Tine (@tine) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@manimal,

“Well, viral e-mails can be very weird.”

lol, this cracked me up, never know what you’re gonna get, huh

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Profile photo of Tine Tine (@tine) 2 years, 4 months ago ago
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Profile photo of Ray Butler Ray Butler M (@trek79) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@tine, Don’t forget accuracy, you can make a bug have a really bad day.

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

fucken goof!

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Profile photo of Starry Eyed BLiND. Starry Eyed BLiND. (@cristinelizabeth) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@manimal,
What do you mean just wants validation? Like someone who is confident in what they have to offer you mean? That is their insecurity getting the best of them during that moment when they get all shy and stuff, Lol and when they stop they probably got off before you did.
That is very true, You both have to let go of yourself and just have the time of your life ha,
It’s crazy the build up of the act of sex how they both build each other up to that level where they just want each other so bad. And after it’s like, yeahh that was decent. Lol

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Profile photo of D.I. D.I. (@thekingofthenorth) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

Poppa Squat was my favorite smurf

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Profile photo of Tine Tine (@tine) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@generaltitsvonchodehoffen,

-helicoptering…-

one of my #1 reasons too

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Profile photo of Tine Tine (@tine) 2 years, 4 months ago ago
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Profile photo of Tine Tine (@tine) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@trek79,

true true, like the barrel difference between a handgun and a rifle… well, inverted handgun… that somehow…. ok, bad metaphor

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Profile photo of Tine Tine (@tine) 2 years, 4 months ago ago
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Profile photo of Tine Tine (@tine) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@misterkal,

more lyrics! lol

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Profile photo of E.C.F. Doyle E.C.F. Doyle (@chekovchameleon) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@tine, Girls can pee outside. I have pointed this out to many female friends over the years, mainly to stop them complaining about needing to pee. They are just conditioned to think it is unacceptable and that girls should be all sweetness and light. Personally I think it a very attractive quality if a girl feels free enough to pee outside, I don’t have a pee fetish by the way. But yes, it is better to have a dick XD.

@misterkal, Ha, that’s my favourite one, you must have tossed that up recently in the caribbean. It is also important to remember that every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great, if a sperm is wasted god gets quite irate. Brilliant!

I tip my hat to you sir.

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Profile photo of Quig Quig (@quig) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

My girlfriend peed on my boots once while pissing outside. We went with a bunch of our friends to get Taco Bell after last call at the bar. She had to go so I led her out back by the dumpsters.

Somehow her pee got on my boots. The wind, maybe?

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Profile photo of jgreen jgreen (@andropar) 2 years, 4 months ago ago

@tine, that just made me laugh out loud in a crowded subway, resulting in like 50 people staring at me :D thanks, mate! :)

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