Do you believe in callings?

3 years, 1 month ago

I’ve seriously heard/read it all. From Tony Robbins to The Secret. From Jesus/God to Enlightenment. Buddhist stuff. Agnostic beliefs. Atheism. Reincarnation.

My belief system has been all over the place. I basically overloaded my head with so many options that I just said "screw it I just do not know."

That, coupled with seeing how messed up with world’s financial/social/etc. systems are just leaves me completely immobilized. I always switch between hiding out from the world and making myself happy, but then I get depressed and focus on everyone else and then it seems I get more depressed.

Anyway, one thing that’s always come into my life in one way or another is music. I’d guess you’d call me a "musician", even though I hate being labeled as such for some reason. And it seems every time I try to make something new I get frustrated after a few weeks/months of trying and give up. Accepting that I’m just not supposed to make music.

Unfortunately a few weeks/months of not making music and I get more depressed than I was previously.

That said, it feels like I’m called to create, and if I don’t I get punished. lol So then I start thinking, "Well if I just keep moving eventually music will lead to something that’ll make me happy." I just never get far enough for that to be true. I always hate everything I make.

That was a long intro into asking, do you believe in callings?

09.27.2011 at 11:01 pm

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