Do you think settling is just a part of human life?
After all, we can’t have it all now, can we? Unless we thrive on Chaos. We can’t follow must of our daily instincts usually.
Is this living a satisfactory life or is instinctual the way to go…one or the other…both or neither?
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Wilful abandonment is an idea we all crave but it is our inner senses of ethics that deny that. This is not a bad thing because it allows us to accept, even live with, ourselves. If we do not love and respect ourself then life becomes extremely uncomfortable.
I think it depends on the person, and where they are at this point in their lives. For example, there’s people who “settle” in one place, with one person, in one job at 20 or 22, and they’re set. Others will move around, maybe not knowing what they want to do but that’s ok, especially if they just want to move around. Often, especially as they get older, “settlers” criticize them for not getting their act together, but that life is equally as valid as one who ‘settles.”
p.s.–I’m thinking of “settling” here as living in one place, with a steady job, married/in a permanent/semi-permanent relationship, house, routine, etc.
I like this philosophical question. First, I think if we know the antithesis of settling, in your context, it would help explain.
I think I know it anyway, so here goes…
I think everyone eventually confronts their own scenario of which settling presents the best option.
Do you think who’s remembered in history books were settlers?
How do you feel about those who weren’t remembered?
You should never settle…don’t expect complete perfections in anything, but don’t “just settle”…you have a life to live! you can do so many things, grow in so many ways, meet tons of people…but in settleing..you kinda lose yourself..get in a consistant pace and life just starts to dull out. some people never realize how much more they can do with themselves…they think its normal to settle, but why not challenge yourself?? i dunno, when i hear someone use the word settle, it seems right then and there that they know they’re selling themselves short and they’re just waiting for someone to tell them, “yeah thats normal, people do that”…people will always tell you to push yourself…or they should…settle wouldn’t be in your vocabulary if you were happy about it.
Ray Butler- What if we have a hard time living with ourselves for playing by the rules? What if we just feel like we need to cling to that last bit of dull security, the everyday life, because otherwise, we will not know what is in store for us and the thought of not knowing terrifies us. But essentially, it thrills us as well.
The sense of right and wrong is taught to us. We aren’t born that way. We can live with ourselves well enough if we convince ourselves that we are in the right, but..can we live with others? This is why it’s a tricky situation.
HiddenMess- You’re right. Everyone wants that outcome to be the best for them, and what’s best for them presently might not be so futuristic-ally.
For the ones who are not remembered in a differential way, well, maybe they were denying themselves, or maybe they just wanted to go with the flow. Generally, I think almost everyone is remembered for something, regardless of what that is.
I think human life calls for balance. You need settlement in some things, and raw freedom in others but it is up to the individual to decide where, why, and in what doses those things are suitable for them. Though, my definition of settlement also covers aspects such as realization that whatever you do long-term you do need to take time out to eat properly, get sleep, and continue a steady discipline of your choice. You can’t have the chaos without some order so that ensues one breaking out of some settlement. Some healthy dose of settlement is a part of human cycle when it enables growth in another area of your life because you can’t always be on an everywhere-crazy-run for growth, but settlement does not need to mean complete stagnation. I think a good formula for this would be to never feel yourself bored with something and move away from it as soon as you feel bored. This can be about little things and the big picture as well. It would be unnatural to turn down chaos when you feel you need it at the time, or to turn down some settlement when you feel that it may benefit you in some way for the time. “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything”, and constant un-settlement sounds like trying to handle launching rockets in all aspects of one’s life. Yes, rip the bong of life hard, but rip the right bong and do settle for the consequences to keep your choices correctly guided.
Like I said before, it is a point of view. If you use the term “settling” in the first place you immediately put a negative connotation to it. You stigmatize it. You can not say getting a comfortable job, buying a house and raising a family is a bad thing. Life goes on despite this.
Right and wrong can indeed be taught to us but ultimately it is a personal choice we make ourselves as to what we think is right and wrong. If you are not happy with the restrictions that this sense has placed on you then, by all means, reconcile this. You have to find what YOU think is right and wrong, not what you have been taught.
I like the philosophies of Edmund Burke
There is one “For society to exist a controlling power on will and appetite must exist, the less within, the more must be without” If we all take excess we can not survive. In fact none should take excess for society to work. But laws do not apply to those who do not break them, but only those who do.
We have guidelines, in life, that work. The largest happiness for the largest amount of people means we need to divide that happiness equally. A law is not truly meant as a restriction on freedom but is meant to permit the most freedom for us all, in justice for all.
There’s always gonna be a part of me that wishes to abandon all the morals, rules, and beliefs set and just do whatever, deal with whatever consequences later though. However, currently, I’m too safe for that.
But to answer your original question. All people are selfish because we all want what is best for us. If being a free spirit makes you happy then it is best for you. There is nothing wrong with being selfish in this sense. There comes a time in peoples life where this “settling” is the best thing for them.
So, NO, settling is not just a part of human life, doing what we feel is best for ourselves is (or should be) and if that means settling then who are we to stigmatize it?