Do you want to become a better man?
You’ve probably seen me post here and there when I have a strong opinion on something that I’d like to share with you..but now I want to get your feedback.
My main passion for many years has just been improving myself on becoming a better man. Not just a better person, but a better masculine figure in society. Not the typical aggressive man that hides his feelings behind his ego, but one who is a source of strength for himself and for others.
I developed my site around this theme, and I’d love to get your thoughts on the message, the design, the articles, anything. Ideas are awesome, and much appreciated.
Here’s the site, Inner Gladiator: http://www.innergladiator.com/start-here/
Thanks guys (and gals)!
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@feren6, Your site is great. The layout is good, but the best part is definitely the articles. I can tell you put a lot of effort and creativity in them and they’re not just regurgitated thoughts from other sites and things like that. They were all very unique and inciteful.
As for criticism, maybe take off the “user reviews” on the “start here” page. It makes it seem like you’re trying to sell me a product. Let the site speak for itself
@mikeyw829, Thanks, I appreciate it. I didn’t like the user reviews either at first, but a lot of my viewers said that it helped. I’ll keep an eye on it..
@edwardbernays, If you go down to ‘More posts’ at the bottom you can view the archives. Or you can click ‘Read More’ on the home page on one of the categories. I’m thinking about adding the archives link to the top Nav Bar, but I figured with the ‘Recommended posts’ and the search bar it was unnecessary.
Regardless, thanks man. A huge turning point for me, especially with this age of ‘pick up artists’ is that having awesome girls in your life is a bonus, not the means. Once my self-validation stopped being focused around girls..it became a ton better.
Society seems to tell guys that the more girls they fuck the more valuable they are, so the point of my website is to disprove that, and write about personal development from that angle.
Nice website man. I like that you not only want to change things but you are inspiring others to do so too. I know I plan on being a gladiator too, we can start an army. Im riding a chariot..
Yes women are strong too in your own ways, and there are plenty of websites geared toward such awesomeness. Let us have our fun.
@feren6, I’m obviously not a male, but I do love your site and I’ve only browsed it for about fifteen minutes. Your article on the Good Guy vs Nice Guy mentality really drew me in because–this is pretty petty, tbh, lol–I was tired of nice guys expecting me to go out with them for their simply being decent human beings. With logic like that, why not fuck ANYBODY who opens a door for me, you know? So it’s pretty cool to see a site for men with an article like that, putting good guys in the spotlight.
On top of that, I’m reading the introvert’s guide. Less because I’m still adjusting to the extroverted world and more that there’s always more to learn, right?
Consider me subscribed.
@feren6, I do not like this, as it poses the same archetype of male versus female as our society has dealt with for centuries.
Although there are some biochemical clues that men are more apt to be like this, there is no reason that men should be like this. Some of your phrases also hit a cord with me in a not-so-good way.
The very fact that you pose this to men only and (gals) in parentheses is telling. Maybe the fact that the majority of your followers are women should tell you something. Perhaps it is telling of us all, that we have undermined women for too long, but in the age of technology they can easily access “men-only material”.
At any rate, I’m sure your articles are great, but maybe you – yourself – should think about how you are viewing your whole scenario, particularly the masculine one.
Perhaps, however, it is the “Masculine versus feminine” paradigm that our society is so used to which makes this so appealing to women in the first place, and one changing your theme to all people (and specifically addressing ALL people) the meaning would be lost. It would be interesting to see, at the possible expense of your site (lolz).
good luck anyway
@feren6, Lately I’m starting to move away from the idea that I need to improve myself, I agree with doing the best I can but the moment I entertain the idea that I am not good enough, I need to be better, I lose confidence. Be sure that encouragement does not turn to highlighting inadequacy.
You’re missing the point.
It’s not about saying men are more likely to be leaders (which they are), but that many men are living unfulfilled because they aren’t tapping into their masculine energy. For instance, guys with poor father figures who grew up with their mothers may not have learned that they actually align better with a more masculine attitude. Sure, no one has to act a certain way if they don’t want to, but I suggest that most guys have a preference for how much masculine energy they should utilize.
For some guys, that means being a super dominant man. For others, that means being feminine AND BEING OKAY WITH IT. You can interchange the word ‘man’ with masculine here, because there are many masculine women. I only market to guys because 1) I am a guy, and 2) I’m not able to talk about female masculinity from direct experience.
I propose that a lot of females like my articles because 1) they have a more masculine side to them and 2) because I recently chose that focus and most of my articles are masculine/feminine neutral.
You ever see a guy who acts very feminine in a relationship with a girl who “has the pants” in the relationship and see that they’re happy?
It happens, but it my site is NOT for those guys. My site is to help out those guys who are “pussy whipped” in life and don’t want to be, or would feel better as a leader. They have this masculine energy that they don’t know about and is the reason why they aren’t happy or living a fulfilled life.
I know that whenever I don’t fulfill my masculinity (not the same as “being an asshole”) I feel like shit. I don’t feel confident. I don’t have any self-esteem. But when I started working hard and being assertive with what I want in life, then everything started to get better.
Bonus: it’s more attractive to the ladies. (or the ‘feminine’ if you get offended)
I’m sorry that you misunderstood the point, but I’m not telling anyone that they have to act a certain way. I just want to help guys that would feel better as more masculine than if they weren’t.
Read Way of the Superior Man by David Deida for more info masculine/feminine polarity..if you want.
These are great articles, very energizing and I like how you are able to put things into perspective. A thinker and a doer, an applier, I aspire to that. I find some of my biggest questions that I worry about, too much probably is how to apply and internalize new changes new truths and understandings into myself in a way that works. You seem to put it down very well mate!
Hmm about the review on the intro page, I agree that it seems like its trying to sell a product, but my opinion doesn’t reflect everyone. Self promotion isn’t a bad thing haha. Maybe if they were further at the end then it would seem like an attribute.
@trek79, Realizing what’s lacking is the first step to supplying it. Self-awareness can hurt, but that’s only when your ego is resisting.
You don’t lose confidence because you realize what’s lacking, you lose confidence because of how you handle that insight.
It’s kind of like looking at something expensive that’s out of your price range. Most people will just think “I can’t afford this” and it’ll feel bad because they’re killing a dream. A more open-minded and proactive person would think “HOW CAN I afford this?” and start coming up with a solution, and it will all feel awesome because you’re living in alignment with your dream.
@ijesuschrist, There is no vs. It’s a symbiosis of masculine and feminine. It’s not something society has struggled with, until very recently. It’s not a social construct, it’s reality, it’s nature, it’s fundamental and factual.
Posing it to men only is better.
The more diffuse and general you go, the less effective your material becomes. The more diverse the target audience is, the harder it will be to teach. And the whole thing will amount to practically nothing.
That’s why people narrow down their target audience. The right person, teaching the right thing, to the right people. That’s what works best.
Being the right teacher and teaching the right thing is all about expertise, knowledge. Theory is not knowledge, experience is. Therefore, a woman who’s taken on a similar journey would be a much better teacher for the ladies.
People who only paint broad strokes and try to accommodate everyone aren’t really teachers. They’re merely amateurs with a teacher ego, who think they know a bunch of shit they don’t.
I, for example, wouldn’t teach quantum physics or pole vaulting, because I don’t know those things. Sure, I have a basic understanding of it, I know a fair bit of theory, but I don’t really know anything about the subjects themselves.
The map is not the territory.
If women find this source useful (which a lot of women should) then that’s splendid, but it isn’t designed for them. That doesn’t mean you can’t find useful bits and pieces that fit your lifestyle and path.
Everyone could do with a healthy splash of more masculinity. The difference is that women are at their baseline level, while most “men” are way below their baseline level… and the fact that the potential for this stuff is much greater in men.
Remember: Right person, teaching the right thing, to the right audience. There’s bound to be even better sites out there for the women.
Look and you shall find.
If you learn from an amateur, you learn falsehoods and lacking methods. You could teach yourself those things.
If you learn from a master, you get on the fastlane to greatness. Masters stick to teaching their area of expertise, the few things they’ve mastered. If you want to learn something different from what your teacher is teaching, ask another master.
Info, just like everything else, is all about quality. NOT QUANTITY. Information overload just causes confusion and poor mental performance.
@kidd, Glad you’re enjoying it..great to hear the feedback from the female perspective :)
@manimal Thanks man. Rock on.
@trek79 Definitely. That is also a huge problem I’ve had with personal development — you often read more than you act and it causes you to distort your self-image. Thanks for pointing this out..I’m trying to eliminate the gawdy “this will change your life” style. Good looks.
@deej Thanks for the advice, I’ll keep that in mind. I’d also love to hear your opinions on individual articles..I love discussing this stuff!
“There is no vs. It’s a symiosis of masculine and feminine…It’s reality, it’s nature, it’s fundamental and factual.”
Exactly. Well put.
@feren6, I don’t mis understand your point at all, and your reinforcing what I already said. You’re supporting the already in-place idea that men should be masculine leaders and should be “Wearing the pants” in a relationship.
By saying this you are indirectly implying where women should be. You aren’t saying it, and if you were I’d be way harsher on this than I am.
Basically your site is asking people to go back to the 50′s, where men are portrayed as dominant, confident, and testosterone-fueled. Although this is perfectly healthy, it takes a bit of wisdom along with it.
You are saying that men should go after what they want, and be confident in doing it.
I would just hope that more men are questioning what they want.
I’m sure Manimal is your biggest fan…
Really I’m just butting heads with the vibe of your site. I can see a lot of guys dressed in suits and ties, getting to work, trying to act overly confident in themselves, pursuing things that aren’t worth pursuing, but do so anyways because its the societal norm. BUT WHATEVER YOU KNOW? Fuck it, have your “Successful” life styles. Whatever that means / is.
I wouldn’t really have ANY problem with your site if it came SECONDARY to wisdom and introspective growth.
“Info, just like everything else, is all about quality. NOT QUANTITY.”
Particularly true with info because it is immaterial. Best way to describe this is with the idea that you can get more information and meaningfulness out of a single quote than you a in some complete book.
“You’re supporting the already in-place idea that men should be masculine leaders and should be “Wearing the pants” in a relationship.”
Yes, but I’m not saying that ALL men should be masculine leaders. If a guy is completely content with not being a masculine leader, that’s his business.
“By saying this you are indirectly implying where women should be.”
No, I’m not. I’m not saying that women shouldn’t take up leadership roles — in fact, I think they are important. How am I implying that women are a lesser gender? I fucking love women. They are fun and cute and sexy and inspire me to do awesome things. We need more strong women in this world. But women can be strong in a completely different way than men — that doesn’t make them lesser.
“Basically your site is asking people to go back to the 50′s, where men are portrayed as dominant, confident, and testosterone-fueled. Although this is perfectly healthy, it takes a bit of wisdom along with it.
You are saying that men should go after what they want, and be confident in doing it.
I would just hope that more men are questioning what they want.”
Yes. Men should be more confident, dominant, and testosterone-fueled. They should go after what they want and be confident in doing it. I agree with you that it does take wisdom…and that’s the point of the site :)
Here’s where I think you’re getting confused: just because you are confident, dominant, assertive, and testosterone-fueled, that doesn’t mean you should be an asshole, a jerk, push other people over, never smile, and treat people like shit.
My goal is to help guys who have good hearts and care about the world and the people in it, but they don’t want to be associated with those asshole guys. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
Just because you’re assertive and confident doesn’t make you a man. But if you want to be a man, you must certainly be assertive and confident. Of course this is my definition of a man — yours could be different.
That’s your opinion.
But the reason it’s my viewpoint is because 1) I’m working towards my purpose and I feel better doing it, 2) it’s attracts passionate relationships.
Check out my post on the difference between Nice Guys vs Good Guys post: http://www.innergladiator.com/nice-guys/
My goal is to help Nice Guys turn into Good Guys. Guys that are fucking awesome.
Do you think women are upset with this? FUCK NO. Ask some women in your life what they find attractive in a man. Most can attest to a man who is charming, takes care of his family, treats his friends well, AND is confident and assertive.
If you don’t want to live a life full of passion in your work AND in the bedroom, well fuck, this site isn’t for you man.
“I’m sure Manimal is your biggest fan…”
I have a feeling he has better things to worry about then being some fan-boy of an internet website. But who knows.
“Really I’m just butting heads with the vibe of your site. I can see a lot of guys dressed in suits and ties, getting to work, trying to act overly confident in themselves, pursuing things that aren’t worth pursuing, but do so anyways because its the societal norm. BUT WHATEVER YOU KNOW? Fuck it, have your “Successful” life styles. Whatever that means / is.”
Yeah dude, I completely agree with you.
“I wouldn’t really have ANY problem with your site if it came SECONDARY to wisdom and introspective growth.”
That’s not how psychology works. I can’t sell wisdom and introspective growth to the masses and expect to get people to read/understand/care about it.
My business coach told me “Sell them what they want, tell them what they need.”
My message appeals to a certain demographic, even if the knowledge can be found elsewhere. But if the same guys come to my site actually identify with my message and have had some of the same problems, they’re 200% more likely to act upon it.
Don’t get my message mixed up just because I appeal to a certain type of people. It’s just how it works.
“Best way to describe this is with the idea that you can get more information and meaningfulness out of a single quote than you a in some complete book.”
Ah..yes. Are you familiar with Stoicism?
Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is a book completely filled with quotes. If you’re into a practical philosophy, check out ‘The Emperor’s Handbook’ (the translated version of Meditations)
@feren6, in a weird sort of way i am. I am a communications scholar and media critic. Lately I’ve been looking into the “Age of Information” and what that means in terms of piracy and free flows of information. I will most certainly look into that book at some point, thanks for the suggestion!