I’ve always thought the drugs I’ve experienced with was a BAD time in my life. A time that I lost control, lost hope, and lost the ability to have compassion for my own existence. Now that i’m older I’ve looked at the experience as a whole as beneficial. I’m not proud of it, though I don’t regret it one bit. My question is that, ‘can a person become so desensitized to, maybe life in general, that they see even some of the worst things and yet smile at them?’
@connerj93, It’s a time everyone experiences where they either change their perspective of life by altering it with drugs, or if they stay on the safe side. If you were the chicken that crossed the road, then you are looking on the other side and find it humorous of how you got from point a to point b without getting caught arrested whatever.
although I in a a way regret doing special k, and smoking the amount of pot I did previously. It made me pretty fucking weird,
I don’t think it’s being desensitized by life that makes you smile when looking back upon your darkest days. Perhaps you smile because you made it through. Perhaps you smile because in spite of a darkened past, you are the person you are today.
I look back on my days of heavy drug abuse and think that I am grateful for my past. I’ve seen what evils there are in the world, I walked among most of them, and I made it out alive. My eyes are open now, and I can look at most things from two perspectives. As much as a scoundrel as I ever was, that person that I used to be is a part of who I am today, and helped me to get here. I appreciate where I’ve come from, and I do not have any regrets. Who has time for regret anyhow?
@theskafish, me too, just sit there stoned as fuck and laughing at nothing and being lazy, My cousins are pot heads and some of my uncles and aunts, my aunt and uncles are over 40, and I just see that it makes you feel like there is a release from the real world, and that world takes over the real world, but you come back down and realize oh, shit, this IS real life. ha
If I didn’t witness first hand how shit that life is then I may be tempted right now. As crappy as people may judge my life to be right now, to me it’s sunshine, lollypops and rainbows every day, in comparison. That I was able to break out of that is nothing short of a fluke, or some devine force if you believe that junk. If hit with it in a slightly different fashion, such as time frame and circumstances, then who could predict the result. It may be a better or worse outcome but that is irrelevant now, it is done, time to move on.
I have had bizarre, enlightening, violent, sensual and painful experiences because of my drug use and abuse. I have stories that many people would think are too strange, funny or terrifying to actually be true. I have learned more about life from my drug use than I have ever learned in school. I learned lessons that otherwise I never would have.
I don’t regret any of it and I never will. It made me who I am today. I have been homeless, I have been in jail, I have been suicidal. I have suffered all the consequences of the drug user lifestyle that my parents and my teachers warned me about for years. Today I am happy, comfortable, somewhat successful, I have a beautiful family and I love my life. I have no complaints, and I’ll tell you a secret….I still do drugs.
I smoke pot, I drink and I trip a few times a year. I grew up. I do drugs, the drugs don’t do me anymore. I don’t advocate cocaine, heroin or prescription pills but I advocate psychedelics with ever fiber of my being because they helped me turn the page on the destructive aspects of my life. Without a doubt I can say psychedelic drugs have made me a better person, but in the end it’s about growing up and figuring out how to have a balance.
@cristinelizabeth, my thoughts exactly. I started smoking because I thought it would break down my inhibitions and cultivate my imagination, but instead all it led to was like you said, just being stoned, laughing at nothing, eating way too much unhealthy food way too late at night, and incredible laziness. It made me so relaxed that I was ok with blowing off life itself….I quit when I realized that later, I don’t want to look back and wonder where my 20s went, like what happened with my childhood. Ah well
@cristinelizabeth, And that’s what I mean. There’s a point through the whole experience when you’ll never turn back again, your thoughts and beliefs are thrown into a void of unknown territory. I became weird as shit, but looking back to when I was younger I couldn’t have seen myself going any other direction.. I guess sometimes I look back and wonder what other roads I missed that would’ve led to the same end result. Regardless, all of those kids who saw myself and my friends as hoodlums and druggies and alienated us find themselves falling short intellectually, just a bit ironic.
Your question is kinda confusing isn’t it when everything in life plays out according to plan then you can look back and smile? Their are definitely times I’ve frowned upon myself but when i measure my success and when im really really happy all that other bullshit can’t bring me down :)
@hugesavings, Absolutely, it is pretty gratifying that I can still have my fun and handle the priorities in my life. It wasn’t always so and it took some hard lessons. I think I would be quite miserable at the prospect of never being able to smoke pot again, a lot of people feel this way. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
I think it’s about balance. You have to know when to quit. And if you aren’t able to give up drugs for things like your dreams, love and your family you have a problem. They just can’t be the priority.
If you don’t have any regrets your lying. Every one has things they wish they could change. One of those things for me is the priority I use to put on drugs and alcohol. They were the one thing I thought I needed most; I regret this prioritization.
@connerj93, totally ha. the people who looked at me like a pot head and a party girl, well now they smoke pot and party their faces off and i’m just like AWESOME MANN I REMEMBER MY FIRST BLUNT AND BEER. Like damn, and now they just do it to be fucking awesome when I was doing it because I was bored hhaha. Side note I hate my generation haa.
I regret none of the decisions I’ve ever made regarding drug-use..
I’ve drawn some of the coolest things while tripping on mushrooms.
MDMA helped me realize what it was like to be happy and pulled me out of a near-suicidal depressed stage of my life, plagued with what would be called clinical alcoholism.
Pot has helped me calm down and prioritize the little things.
The only difference between “drugs” and “medicine” is the person who gives them to you or prescribes them to you. If you take the good things out of your altered state of consciousness, and apply them to your everyday life, whilst sober. You realize that drugs and the altered state of consciousness they induce, are no different than the medications that your doctor will prescribe you, it’s just that they are abused horribly. Do I abuse drugs? I would lie if I said I didn’t. But it seems an overwhelming majority of my generation does so blatantly, right beside me.
I don’t regret any of the decisions I’ve ever made regarding drugs, because there is no longer anything I can do to change what I’ve done in the past. Only things I can change for the future, which is actually something I had learned whilst under the influence of a drug.