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@paul2, I was in a frat recently. It was cool at first but then I realized it kinda puts you in a bubble from the rest of the school and it becomes an intoxicating, shared mentality. I also don’t like how people will judge you based of your frats rep/ rumors as if your not an individual. There are some benefits but overall I recommend being independent.
@paul2, I pledged and was initiated into a social fraternity back when I was a freshman in college not too long ago. In hindsight, it was like an elitist, conformist, aryan environment that promoted immaturity and dick-measuring of all things superficial (drinking, sex, house, clothes, parties, that kind of stuff). They hide behind their supposed ‘virtues’ and spend time pretending to the public that they’re really into kids with cancer or autism. Oh yeah, don’t forget the dues – you have to pay your dues to be considered an elite member of society, don’t you know? Add a hefty $600-700 each semester to your budget for the right to be a shameless public douche. Anyway, I ended up deactivating, but I still keep up with some of the guys I actually understood. Sadly it seems like there were some great guys, but they’re so wrapped up in their status and privilege in the eyes of college culture. Good luck if you pledge – if you’re like most people on high existence who actually understand what the site stands for, you’ll be questioning your shallow behavior each step you take towards conformity of the worst kind.
Just my opinion…
@paul2, I remember reading through some of your posts a while back. I’ve been praying for you and your father. I hope the situation is improving.
I will be surprised if you are still impressed with fraternity life after a few months. You are too smart and have too much identity. Good luck with your college experience!
@paul2, I’ve encountered more frat members that resembled the stereotype than ones who broke it. It seemed like an extension of high school cliques to me, of which I was neither welcome nor did I want entry. And some of the initiation things you hear about are just wack. But of course, there are many different kinds of frats, some of which are actually pretty constructive and don’t require you to debase yourself or anyone else.
Personally I suggest just hanging out with a tight knit group of friends that you don’t have to pay dues to hang out with. You can still get a house or other dwelling in college and live there with your friends, without being in a frat. This way you can retain both a sense of camaraderie and your own individuality at the same time.
I’m in a social fraternity at my school, and I have no regrets. Being in a fraternity has ONLY opened up doors for me with meeting a very involved, passionate group of people. It only closes you off from others if you allow it to. Yes, people will stereotype you upon learning that you’re in one, but who cares? Someone who isn’t open to your friendship just based on one involvement probably isn’t worth your time anyway. You pay dues because it allows you and one of your close groups of friends to organize awesome things that most people can’t scrap together the money for due to disorganization. The pledging process totally brought together me and my 8 pledge brothers, who otherwise might never have gotten to know each other! It’s also an excellent exercise in mental/physical stamina and you come out of the experience a more resilient, stronger person.
There is a wide variety of fraternities/sororities at individual schools that each have their own niche, so it’s just all about finding one that fits what you’re looking for in involvement and people!
I am in college now, and I know people that both despise and love greek life. Personally, it wasn’t for me, but for some it fits. If anything I would say try it out if you love it, do it, if not find another club/sport that suits you. Just listen to yourself and your feelings.
Tried it, but I wasn’t initiated.
I was under the impression that these guys were different from the other fraternities, because that was the image they gave off. They did have a slightly better state of mind in most cases, but they certainly were not willing to let go of the elitist douche mentality.
I took it way too personally the first time I rushed with them, but after some coercing from brothers who appreciated my presence, I decided to give it another go…and was kicked out even quicker than the first time.
People still tried to get me to go for a 3rd time, and I basically told them to suck it. I can say I do not regret the experience because I met an amazing group of people there, who I am now really close to….it’s actually quite ironic, because the people I care about the most were the ones who basically started ditching the frat RIGHT as I first started trying to get into it. I have lived with several of them and will be living with one this coming year.
Life is crazy, don’t let anyone stop you from being yourself, but don’t deny yourself experiences either. Give it a go.
I keep reading about all the people who didn’t make it in/got kicked out of fraternities. I have to sat that these peoples’ views from the outside of greek life (not a FRAT, that is an example of some ignorant terminology) are going to differ, obviously, with my own personal opinion.I am entering my third year, and couldn’t imagine a life outside. Living conditions can vary between fraternities, but its not difficult to differentiate between the party houses and the academic houses. I joined a house that fit my style, rushed, pledged (had to deal with some bullshit which ultimately ends up teaching you a few lessons), and eventually joined that house. Opened a ton of doors, threw some fun ass parties, and even raised my GPA in college. Three years later I’m still loving it.
@orthaw, Finally, a post that doesn’t slam fraternities. I’m in one too, and I met a huge group of great guys whom I’m good friends with now. My advice to you is to rush as many fraternities as you can when you get to school, and if there’s one that you really like then you should pledge — you can back out at any time you want during pledgeship.
Greek life (aka frats… As if it fucking matters) in my opinion, are basically white kids (+ a few token minorities, if you’re lucky) with some extra money. Lol it’s funny to think I actually idolized anything like that once. Guess that’s just college in the states now though… Systematic education is now the front of apathy, lethargy, and immaturity. What happened to the political protests (seriously, now is the time to get our shit together), opportunities to grow, to meet people of all kinds (the truth of existence is that we’re all “god damn independents”), and gain life affirming experiences? Parties that get old, people talking shit constantly, DUMB and shallow clones of women, GPAs that mean both nothing and everything, unpaid loans and bullshit jobs awaiting in corporate America… Welcome to college. Seems like they let any privileged fuck whose parents are willing to pay into schools these days. It’s a sad world for people who actually want substance and meaning and experiences during the “best” four years of our lives… Sorry I went off there, but it felt damn good to. That’s all I’ve got left to say, think about it. Peace.
Let me pay to have friends.
I lived in a house with 7 guy friends. We had some parties, but we wouldn’t have a bunch of 18 year olds coming over puking everywhere and then stories of some dudes groping or date raping like the other frats on campus. “Oh they give frats a bad name”
Every frat I’ve been to has had absolute douche bags. Maybe its hard to see it from the inside because it warps you into a douche bag. Even the chemistry frat which was 100% professional had some pretty douchey characters.
Then college ends and its just like highschool – you start all over again. You either find out you’ve turned into a douche bag and feel sorry for yourself, or you try and find some other graduated douche bags so you can continue your douchery in the bars trying to get laid in between work days cause your job is stressful and you don’t do anything meaningful but accumulate money, or some other useless substance that … nevermind.
@ijesuschrist, I was in the holy ties of fraternal brotherhood once too haha I’m just calling it how I saw it. But I also think my opinions are just opinions, and I’m sure there are greeks out there with genuine passion for whatever they find meaningful in their lives. I’m still working on that kind of acceptance though, especially since it’s so hard to ignore some of the bullshit that creates hate and stops the progress of human consciousness and existence :P
It’s important not to group all fraternities and people into one category. However, for me personally I don’t like frats. The main reason I don’t do it is the sociology of it all. To make social life into a game (pledges, recruitment, acceptance, hazing, ranking systems), is just not something I’m interested. I was the society I interact with to be free of any rules, traditions, or judgements.
Sure, many schools are filled with frats, but there are still some fraternities across campuses. It was a major distinction I learned during my pledge process. Don’t get me wrong, my fraternity even had plenty of douche bags, but they were the ones interested in partying a lot, etc. etc. I discovered a lot of value from my years as an active brother by studying the history and foundations of the fraternity. The intentions and background behind my fraternity taught me a lot and helped mold me into the man I am today. Many of my “brothers” didn’t have the slightest inkling of what our Purpose truly meant, let alone our oath or anything else. It would pain me to see how easily they would write off the essential, truly important parts of the system for beer pong, college chicks, and other shenanigans.
With all that said, “to thine own self be true.” Don’t let any kind of system indoctrinate you.
@jkim1233, your generalizations speaks a lot about your ignorance to the whole community in general. My house sponsors charities, the average HOUSE wide GPA was 3.6, and forces you to interact with people on a daily basis which builds some strong bonds between friends that last a lifetime. Yeah there are some douches in greek life, but they are everywhere so get used to it.
This is such a biased thread. This is full of a bunch of people saying that frats are terrible things that brain wash you, and are asking you to make a decision based on nothing more than an opinion. Just like in real life, there will always be douche bags mixed in with good guys.
That’s the only reason I don’t get this generalization that people say, “Oh, I met one guy from some small frat who acts like a crazy douche. That must mean every single frat guy on the planet must suck.” How closed minded is that? You are doing exactly what you are saying is so terrible about fraternities. I feel like most of these people are less social people who looked at frat members in jealous/envious contempt in College. If you made a lot of friends, and enjoy being socially active and giving back to your community, then join a frat. If not, then don’t, and do your own thing at your own pace.
Don’t let a bunch of older people looking back on events in their lives in a sour context ruin it for you. I’d say 80% don’t know anything ACTUALLY REAL about fraternities past movies like Animal House. Oh yea, we all know how accurate and truthful movies can be. EVERY fraternity is based on good ideals and morals, even the d-bags that do nothing but party still raise money for charity organizations with those huge parties. It’s not a bad thing to enjoy life and have fun, especially in college.
Take this beyond an internet thread man, most of these people don’t know what they’re talking about. I just graduated from college, and was in a Frat. If they really were what all these people say they are, Frats wouldn’t be allowed on College campuses.