Friends with benefits

3 years, 5 months ago

Are you referring to the females, Ellie? hahah and EastSigheder, that’s also very true. You truly need to be compatible with the experience in addition to a compatible partner. guess it just depends on timing… The almighty Time!

November 14, 2011 at 7:02 am

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of kim kim (@ominka) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Is it ever possible, in our ever so vast and expanding universe, to commence a friends with benefits relationship with another, and not develop amorous emotions?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of kim kim (@ominka) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Before you chuck the “Duh’s” and “of courses”, first of all, its easier said than done. i hate to be sexist, but its hard to be a girl and act like a guy. I feel like its ingrained in me, naturally, to act crazed and mildly obsessive due to my submission to developed emotions haha. And secondly, them romance flicks were all right :(

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of James James (@jameslarson13) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

i’ve done it on a few occasions. it might be easier for guys than girls, but girls are definitely capable. i’ve dont it and ended up becoming in a relationship with that person, i’ve had it go from relationship to friends with benefits, and i’ve had it just stay friends with benefits. I’ve had it where i wanted to make it into a relationship, i’ve had it where the girl wants to make it the relationship.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of John John (@prefrontalcordless) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

One answer COULD be that women release the bonding hormone oxytocin (not to be confused with the painkiller (oxycontin) in much heavier amounts than men during a mutually pleasurable session. Session was the best euphemism I could come up with…anyway, its also known that both sexes are releasing copious amounts of dopamine, the pleasure chem, and the male , not surprisingly, gets an extra boost of L-trytophan, sometimes sending him in to an instant snooze. But back to the oxytocin-that might be the reason it is harder for women once the dirty has been done. I don’t know.. I also believe in romantic love as I am in it (oh, and then science has shown both sexes are releasing heavy amounts of oxytocin when that is occuring). But these intricate components of the brain still fascinate me.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of kim kim (@ominka) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

session works! hmm maybe in addition to a woman’s natural possessiveness are guys who naturally want their cake and it eat too. That funny light doesn’t take away any in that truth though hahah

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of James James (@jameslarson13) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

women are evolutionarily primed to want a stable romantic relationship, whereas men are evolutionarily primed to want to fuck everything.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of John John (@prefrontalcordless) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

ha! well said. lol

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

I think you could say women are more prone to want to maintain a relationship, maybe for reasons that might come off as sexist aswell, but I think men, wanting to fuck everything, is in us equally to procreate, obviously. But you know the old saying “think with your other head”, well when guys do think with their dicks rather then their brains, I think that must be a more primitive thought process. Why wouldn’t it be? If you look back to our good old ape days, then you look back to our most basic needs, and having sex and making babies has been around a lot longer then thinking consciously about..whatever else it is that you think about when your not wanting to have sex

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

It’s not that hard. Just drop the attachment. Forget the hollywood drama.

And even if feelings develop, what’s so bad about that?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of smily smily (@somedress2011) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

good friends mean a wealthy to us , and we can benefit a lot from they ,knowledge ,good manners and a lot of things ,i am so lucky that i have serveral goog friends .nice

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Daniel Daniel (@meta) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

I’m in one right now but I will admit that I have to beat her off me with a stick when she gets too clingy or talks about relationships.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of eastsighed eastsighed (@eastsighed) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

^Sounds like the innocent friends with benefits, smily

Anyway, as a girl that has had some friends with benefits, I’d say that it isn’t for everyone. If you aren’t vulnerable, have a strong sense of independence, and you have very many other things that bring you pleasure in life, then friends with benefits shouldn’t be so bad.

Having a friend with benefits also works better if you do this with someone you get along with, but you definitely see reasons why you would never date them, and hopefully the guy seems the same way. It’s when you try and make a friendship that you want to lead to a relationship beneficial that things have more potential to get sticky. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but just listen to your gut on that one. I guess advice for it past that would rely on people’s personalities.

[Hidden]
1

It can be done. You need to lay down the law though.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Ellie Ellie M (@tangledupinplaid21) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Never done this before but I have seen many people do the fuck buddies thing… A lot of times one or both parties end up attached, usually one more than the other.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of kim kim (@ominka) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Are you referring to the females, @Ellie? hahah and @EastSigheder, that’s also very true. You truly need to be compatible with the experience in addition to a compatible partner. guess it just depends on timing… The almighty Time!

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

I’ve been more successful working backwards from benefits to friendship. If you can be open and nonjudgmental in a sexual situation first and then build a friendship around that openness, I’ve found it can be mutually rewarding and as long as the communication is CLEAR about expectations from both parties, nobody should get their feelings hurt. So basically it can be great; you just need to be grown up about it unless you want it to blow up in your face.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Alex Alex (@hollowinfinity) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Sure it can be done. But I mean, if at the end of it you both have feelings for each other, then what does it matter?

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Ellie Ellie M (@tangledupinplaid21) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Actually, I have seen enough to know that it’s a stereotype that females are always the ones who get attached.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of kim kim (@ominka) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

I totally support being opened and honest about the scenario Devon. super important! be grown up though hmm i feel like that term has been thrown about so loosely that it kind of lost the depth of its meaning. kids get told to grow up, as do adults! All have a part of the inner kid if you will, in them throughout their life… hmm i think it goes back to guys being able to do it and girls being ready to do it.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Being grown up for me means something very similar to having a “higher existence” as discussed on here a little while back, living above the bullshit. Being grown up doesn’t mean killing the kid, it’s just our society that’s given the phrase the fucked up negative connotation. Lightheartedness is the last thing you want to loose when you’re dealing with friends w/ benefits

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

Being grown up for me means something very similar to having a “higher existence” as discussed on here a little while back, living above the bullshit. Being grown up doesn’t mean killing the kid, it’s just our society that’s given the phrase the fucked up negative connotation. Lightheartedness is the last thing you want to loose when you’re dealing with friends w/ benifits

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of kim kim (@ominka) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

i agree. but you cant guarantee everyone, in every situation, the employment of “being an adult” because i think the inner kid always intervenes with one’s subconscious. its us, its part of our voices and i don’t think its going anywhere :D

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

@kim We are still our “inner children,” everything else is just addons. A lot of people don’t get this, they try to escape their inner children (ie themselves) and so their minds get messed up. And that’s why people are so messed up, they’re hiding from themselves.

The “inner child” is who we really are in this world.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of kim kim (@ominka) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

i dont know. maybe in this life its best to peer from the eyes of a kid. shit gets straight up depressing when you turn into an “adult”. haha super negative i know. questions are asked and they remain unanswered. a child is an optimistic dupe, happy with whatever answers they’re chucked at. hmmm i have no idea where im going with this or why it even went this way

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 3 years, 5 months ago ago

“a child is an optimistic dupe, happy with whatever answers they’re chucked at”

That’s how we really are. The reason why “shit gets straight up depressing when you turn into an “adult”” is because people try to be something else. We are still the same children, but with a wider arsenal of mental tools. Nothing is “deleted,” nor can it be. The child is always there, it’s who you are.

Now, if you treat the kid wrong it’s gonna feel bad. If you feel bad that’s because you’re treating yourself (the child) wrong. And that’s why it sucks to be an adult (for most people.)

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic
What can you accomplish in 30 days? Join our site-wide challenge. Challenge Yourself

More Posts Like This

2

Profile photo of Daniel Barenboim Immortal

Perhaps I have lost my mind but I no longer see the difference between humans and the idea of God. Before you tell me to pick up a bible and grow a brain. Understand that I have read the whole bible and do not have any...

0
35

Profile photo of Zykanthos So you've woken up – Now what?

Question: “What do you say to people who have woken up but can’t leave the system because of family and friends?” This and those like it pose a very broad question since we’re all different and need to be led of...

21
151

Profile photo of axo You Are That Person

Whom someone else dreams of during the night. You are that person someone longs for to be at their side, at all times, caressing their soul with your sincere affection. You are that person whose laughter elicits a...

76
1

Profile photo of Belle Lexi Friends to share my experiences with

I want to get to know people and hear what they have to say. You don’t have to be physically present to develop a friendship. A friend is someone who is wiling to put what their doing down to listen and focus on...

0
6

Profile photo of Enriched Panda Happiness..

It seems to me, that what we as a people desire most in this life is happiness. We are constantly without end seeking out that good feeling inside of us that keeps us as a species trucking forward. There is something...

3
1

Profile photo of josephm Life decisions

I was thinking the other day and realized how much of our younger and teenager life makes a difference later in life. It could just be a mess up In high school and just change that individuals life in a negative way....

4
1

Profile photo of josephm Jaw Still Trembling Two Days After First Drug/MDMA Experiences?

I took one cap on Sunday with my partner of MDMA that was tested (to at least being MDxx); I had some jaw tremors. On Monday I took one more, and I had such jaw shakes, body shakes, and pale skin, that my partner said he...

6
1

Profile photo of ethan chua My experiences with Stimulants

Two months ago I cam across this thing called research chemicals. I was very interested so I researched on it for about two weeks straight. First thing you should know, there is a lot of information out there and some is...

2
24

Profile photo of Garima [HE 30 Day Challenge] April 2015 – Project or Skill

Hello good people! This month’s challenge is going to be different from the others in two ways: The nature of this challenge will allow you to actually show your progress throughout the month, making it more useful...

95
1

Profile photo of josephm get to it

live along the guidelines sing the song that finds time ring the gong that signs blind hope is gone im hindsight life is but a light fight blight versus might connection is my stripes convection recollection add some goo...

0
1

Profile photo of caitlin cameron trip report

the summer of 2014. i was only 15; i had no idea what love was.  you said it was never unrequited love, but what i perceived was just as bad. you loved the idea of a deadbeat me who would care only when you cared,...

0
1

Profile photo of josephm "Open system" is necessary for healthy relationships and friendship?

In interpersonal relationships, let “open system” be a state when they have some external inputs for their relationships. It can be a common activity or a hobby or an information supply, for instance....

1
1

Profile photo of josephm Do you really want to live forever?

there is something about living forever that scares me more than dying. can humanity ever be “perfected”? i mean what is our goal in trying to live for as long as possible why do we stress it so much and why...

1
1

Profile photo of SuperManong The nonexistence of self, or a 'person'

Well, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a self, or in a larger scales, a human being or any other animals. The only thing that exists is my consciousness, and it is free of race, color, gender,...

16
26

Profile photo of SuperManong What single change would have the MOST positive impact on the world?

Could be societal, political, economical, etc. In other words, if we could only change ONE thing about the world to better our lives, what should it be?

94