Girlfriend and Me are Two Different People

@jeffreyb, im not much older than you but I had a girlfriend I loved when I was 18. Similar kind of story…spent all our time together, didn’t see my friends as much. What I’d say is you’re both growing but yet the structure of the comfortable relationship isn’t. This is the first of many relationships (sexual, romantic, casual etc) so don’t stress about starting to see the end of this one. If your differences keep getting in the way and you find yourself overthinking your dynamics together and you aren’t seeing your friends…I’d say end it sooner rather than later. It can be on good terms if you both have it that way…but you’re a young guy and when you’re on the other side of this relationship you’ll see things much more clearly I bet.

Aside from love, why do you want to keep things going with her?

I’m 17 at the moment and have been dating my first love for about 8 and a half months, and the first thing I gotta say is: we do not have a single damn thing in common.
And the second thing I’ve gotta say is: that’s never really been a problem.

Real love penetrates past differences and hobbies in tastes, my girl may or may not be the love of my life, but the love is real and that in itself keeps it going.

@briggs22 brought up some good points about how making sure the rest of your life remains intact will enrich both your personal life, and your relationship with her. I think the man is on the ball with that one, and I’ll have to apply some of that stuff with my own life ;)

@kilopatra and @Xetado had some fair opinions. But personally, I believe that bailing just because things look bad is plain weak.
Nothing personal in the slightest gentlemen, but that’s simply what I think.

Everyone’s raised good points on your dependence though, and I think it’s all spot on.
I read a book called “The Power of Now” not too long ago though.
At first it looks like some bullshit new-age self help book, but if you actually read it, you’ll find it’s pretty much life changing. Cured a lot of my relationship woes, so if you really care about yours, invest a few hours of time in reading, because it’s really worth it.

Best wishes fellow HEthen.

@jeffreyb, I’m 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 11 months, and it’s been one hell of a ride. He and I had very different life experiences growing up. His parents divorced at a young age and he had to watch his mother go through various abusive relationships. He has 3 sisters, one of them being his twin. By age 16 he got into the rave culture, and had a lot of experience with ecstasy, and various other drug cultures. He’s outgoing and super friendly, and knows how to talk to people. I grew up with one brother and one sister, my parents are still married, and i had a pretty sheltered upbringing. I hadn’t smoked weed consistently until really this past year, and all of my forthcoming drug experiences have been with him. I’m an introvert, shy, and can be really stubborn.

With all that being said, the common ground we shared was an open mind. We both took eachother in for all the things that have made or broken us in the past. For all the things that have shaped us into the people we are today. I find that our differences compliment us in a really nice way.
Truthfully, we fight all the time. Rationally, we spend all our time together. Time to yourself is healthy. I encourage it. The best thing for you would be to explore those differing interests and have something to yourself, that you enjoy and makes you feel accomplished and happy. When you take that time, meeting back up with your girl will feel all the more exciting. You can actually tell her about your day, and she can tell you about hers. Then you can finish the day off together :) It’s a really nice feeling, not to mention makes your day more productive.
You have to remember to not treat it as if youre blowing her off. Tell her what youre doing for that day, the plans you have and when you plan on getting into contact with her. That way she wont feel abandoned, and it wont feel like somethings “off” with the two of you. Communication is key. The fighting tones down when you have other things to talk about. Always remember in a relationship to not lose yourself, remember to feed your imagination and drive and your ambitions and hobbies, etc. Your girl will be happy seeing that your happy, people are interested in people who have their own lives, their own things going on. Try to remember that while you share a life together you also are two separate people.
First relationships are hard! youre learning what you like and what you dont. You probably learn more about yourself than you will with any other friendship, relationship, etc. Just dont give up. There is no black and white rule saying when its time to let go. I dont think you should, i think you’re just entering a new phase of this relationship. Make it a proactive one. I wish you the best!

fuck bitches get money!

If you argue over the same things, you’re not working them out. This means communication between you two is bad and rather than solving the issue you are more interested in “winning” the argument.

This is a red flag of a bad relationship.

A healthy relationship want to solve the problems, not make the other feel bad about them. Know the difference, ask yourself which is happening in your scenario. Be aware that if you yourself cannot succumb to solving the problem, but rather just want to “win” the argument, then its time to move on. Its very hard to change a relationship, once you’re in it, its a very solid foundation… Its hard to “start new”.

You need to take a step back and build yourself up as an individual first. I knew a bunch of people at your age who got overly dependent on their girlfriends. Go join a gym, read some books, and get some space.