Go with your heart, or follow dating rules?

2 years, 11 months ago

I’m curious about the way people go about telling someone that they like them or how they go about early stages of dating?

Is it better to follow tradition style dating rules and use them or just go with your heart?

Should I wait 3 days after hanging out with him to ask about it again? Should I take things slow to see how it goes, even though he already kissed me at a bar (I think this means he likes me)? Should I just wait until we are in person to tell him I like him, even though were both really busy with finals and don’t have much time to see each other for a while.

Or should I just be straight forward and tell him that I like him. I want to say I really enjoyed that he kissed me and us hanging out, and that I like him. I want to see if he likes me too so we can get over the awkwardness of tip toeing around us still being afraid of rejection.

I do want to say that I would be interested in dating him. I think he would be too based on knowing him. So I’m just trying to gauge the situation.

12.05.2011 at 4:01 am

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Profile photo of jetsetplayboy jetsetplayboy (@jetsetplayboy) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

I’d say go for it–don’t ask for a ring or anything, but if you’ve already gone out, shared a first kiss, and all seems well, just do it!

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Profile photo of Bryan Hellard Bryan Hellard (@xyver) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

“Is it better to follow tradition style dating rules and use them or just go with your heart?”

The latter. Just do it.

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Profile photo of Bryan Hellard Bryan Hellard (@xyver) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

“Is it better to follow tradition style dating rules and use them or just go with your heart?”

The latter. Just do it.

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Fuck the dating rules, they suck

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Fuck the dating rules, they suck

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Profile photo of chloe chloe (@chwoey) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

I follow dating rules a lot, and they never seem to work.. I’d say follow your heart.

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Profile photo of chloe chloe (@chwoey) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

I follow dating rules a lot, and they never seem to work.. I’d say follow your heart.

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Profile photo of Kaysea Kaysea (@kedukc) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Rejection saves time.

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Profile photo of Kaysea Kaysea (@kedukc) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Rejection saves time.

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Profile photo of BirdFlyingHigh BirdFlyingHigh (@birdflyinghigh) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Only go with the dating “rules” when you have no other fucking clue what to do. If you’re already having strong instincts with this guy, then follow them – just make sure you can still read the signals he’s sending back.

That being said, if you don’t really have time to see each other right now, then maybe don’t step it up emotionally just yet. It sucks when you want to spend time with someone but despite your best intentions you just can’t. I would tell him you’d love to see him after finals if I were you.

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Profile photo of BirdFlyingHigh BirdFlyingHigh (@birdflyinghigh) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Only go with the dating “rules” when you have no other fucking clue what to do. If you’re already having strong instincts with this guy, then follow them – just make sure you can still read the signals he’s sending back.

That being said, if you don’t really have time to see each other right now, then maybe don’t step it up emotionally just yet. It sucks when you want to spend time with someone but despite your best intentions you just can’t. I would tell him you’d love to see him after finals if I were you.

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Profile photo of Alex Alex (@hollowinfinity) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

What rules?

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Profile photo of Alex Alex (@hollowinfinity) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

What rules?

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Seriously, love, romance, sex and that stuff shouldn’t follow such rules, it isn’t a military drill. It’s pretty much the opposite.

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Seriously, love, romance, sex and that stuff shouldn’t follow such rules, it isn’t a military drill. It’s pretty much the opposite.

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Profile photo of Amy Amy (@amyelizabeth) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Brittnay, I’d like to know a bit more about you’re situation. How many times have you hung out? How do you know him? First kiss at a bar doesn’t sound particularly romantic to me, but I may be missing other important details….?

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Profile photo of Amy Amy (@amyelizabeth) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Oh, and same as Alex, I also want to know what the traditional rules are that you don’t want to follow

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Profile photo of Brittnay Brittnay (@blackrainbow) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Amy,

We go to the same college and have been working together for about two years. We’ve hung out here and there in groups and at friend’s parties. We’ve only hung out solo after he he kissed me and all we did was watch tv and talk. The night we went out to the bar, before anything happened, he mentioned that we should hang out more. His best friends also said he is incredibly shy and never talks to to girls. We talk a lot online but it is mostly been about the many things we have in common and always very casual.

I assume he likes me, but having a guy kiss you doesn’t always mean that much. I just want to get to the point and see how he feels even if it isn’t that serious.

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Profile photo of BirdFlyingHigh BirdFlyingHigh (@birdflyinghigh) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

If he’s shy and never talks to girls, then you guys talking online probably means a lot to him! Sounds like he definitely likes you.

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Profile photo of Amy Amy (@amyelizabeth) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Oh, totally go for it. Sounds like he’s into you and he’s too shy to really go for it. So do it for him! And if it turns out it’s not what you thought, at least you will know for sure and you can move on. But my fingers are crossed for you guys :)

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Profile photo of luigi luigi (@luigiblue) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

I hate those mind games. I am usually straight up with shit. I don’t follow the rules at all. If you need to follow certain rules to keep this person interested then they are not right for you and you should move on. Fuck the rules…Live how you want.

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

this shouldn’t be life or death, don’t scare him away by acting like obsessed or anything but definitely express your feelings and your desire to make things a little less casual

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Profile photo of Brittnay Brittnay (@blackrainbow) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

This is all very helpful. Thank you.

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