Here is a problem with my introversion and intelligence:
I’m introverted and for the most part I can provide a higher level of insight and intelligence than most people I seem to associate myself with. I may seem arrogant by stating that fact, but in reality, and with a personality like mine– it’s true. Whether it be that I am attracted to people who are not as philosophical as I am, or that I just don’t know where to meet people who have a similar personality to me, the problem exists. Now I understand that there are many more people like me out there and I believe that a large portion of this site’s members have the same conflict– although when we introverts embrace our introversion we obtain clarity of mind, our deep reflection and rumination sometimes engenders loneliness. My questions are: "How does an introvert find other introverts with similar interests in the physical world, without utilizing the internet to catalyze the networking?" and: "If you can relate to this, what are some strategies you’ve acquired throughout your life that help you cope with your inability to relate to the average individual because you are perceived as ‘weird’ or ‘eccentric’?
Although I do not necessarily believe that there is complete validity in the MBTI test, the personality type that I’ve consistently been labeled as is "INFJ". Maybe this has something to do with my eccentricity.
Any advice or similar thoughts?
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
I found feel more reassured now that I read this forum. I don’t know if the subject was delved into completely, and I feel like we could converse for a few more pages but we’ll need more input. I have another question I’ll post on a different thread.
Also, A note about not being able to relate to people because of eccentricities.
I took a vow of silence and my family/everyone that I encountered/pretty much everyone that I hang out with on a regular basis thought it was at least kind of weird. My mom thought I was high as fuck. They joked around all day about it. and I would just sit there and listen. They would take credit for things I did and I would just listen. I just let them have it.
I also have this “problem”, I’ve perhaps two friends with whom I can have a deep, meaningful conversation, where we question ourselves and the world around us, basically, an intelligent conversation, but with my other friends, I get very bored, they only talk about things that I don’t care in the slightest, superficial stuff.
But I liked what Ty said:” be more loving and accepting and social with anybody and everybody”
We shouldn’t be so limited socially, we should expand our horizons,, not in a intellectual way, like I think we all already do, but in a social way
No nit-picking here, please read ideas not words. Easy-going and deep-thinking aren’t opposites, but I think easy-going would be close to the other end of the spectrum for Jay, based on his post.
it’s the same as reading your sentence equating extroversion with being superficial; I don’t think you were actually implying that all extraverts are superficial. Moving on.
Either extreme can be a problem for those who want to change and grow; wherever you are now, whatever you’re doing, you’ve got to step outside of yourself a bit if you’re interested in a wider world and more varied experiences. I think balance helps those who want to experience the full flavor of this life. Given that Jay really wants to meet new people, change would help given that what he’s doing now isn’t working.
Sometimes I feel the same way as you man…
“How does an introvert find other introverts with similar interests in the physical world, without utilizing the internet to catalyze the networking?”
By meeting people, getting to know them, and hoping that they are similar to you. I haven’t really found anyone… I’ve got quite a few that are close :) Or maybe they are just like me, I just don’t know them well enough yet.
“If you can relate to this, what are some strategies you’ve acquired throughout your life that help you cope with your inability to relate to the average individual because you are perceived as ‘weird’ or ‘eccentric’?”
Fake it till you make it. Or, fuck what everyone else thinks.
I think introversion is detrimental to intelligence because you never put your ideas out there to have them be bettered by the competition of other ideas.
I think that my own personal sense of introversion comes from a sense of perfectionism. I want to build a worldview that I completely understand. But that isn’t the way of building a good worldview; nothing can be static.
If introversion comes from not wanting to be proven wrong (and I think that much of it does) it usually only serves to help you harbor delusions.
Of course sometimes being delusional can get a lot done… definitely a mixed bag. I just think it’s good if you are inspired by others rather than shut down by them.
I think i feel you here… I think bout everything, i analyse things and philosophize where others simply just don’t give a shit. It truly is frustrating to feel that no one cares, but if you want to connect with people i think the best way to do it is not to discuss everything and just try to not take yourself too seriously, it think that’s what scares people away a lot of the time, also it may seem as if you are giving a lecture when really you’re just sharing your thoughts, for no particular reason other than to discuss, and reach a new level of insight or perspective.
Yes, the case of clicking with someone that is a match for you without deliberate use of internet as filter is a very rare chance, but why would you need it to be otherwise if you’re an introvert? The precious few that you do happen to run into are plenty! At least that’s what’s been in my head for years.
@ Manimal, Not Necessarily.
If I’m with an extraverted, superficial type of person, my contribution to the discussion comes from my position and has to do with what I am interested in. I will still share my existential beliefs with them. Don’t let others judgements sway your decisions and actions. I’m a proponent of “fuck what everyone else thinks”@ Bryan Hellard
Another thing is that I am able to hold a conversation with most people, and am genuinely interested in what other people have to say but for the most part it isn’t mutual. My current acquaintances dislike deeper thought. I have two good online friends that I frequently philosophize with, but the emotional connection I’m looking for isn’t completely there.
I am happy that I do now have people that I can intellectually converse with, and am very thankful for this site because before I found this site I created a group of facebook that was formed to serve the basic function that highexistence provides.
@ daveb, I’m serious, why should you separate one from the other? Why can’t one be easy going and deep thinking?
Why can’t one be a sociable, charismatic introvert? We all have certain levels of introversion and extroversion, some people’s are different than others. Labeling yourself as introvert or an extrovert is kind of hard to do, because even though one trait might out weight the other, the other is still present, it still affects you.
I find it fun to be considered an eccentric…constantly coming with new ways of thought which seem weird to the average person is a great creative exercise…and I also believe that the universe always seems to kind of balance things out so if you have the tendency to lean to much towards an extreme, you meet people with other values and perspectives (opposites attract or God does not play dice), at least that happened to me, and I had discovered an enormous deal about myself(by facing my fears by hanging in places full of violent people or by analyzing my psychological and emotional reactions after I got beaten up), and I also found out the fact that you can learn a great deal from every human being…you just have to be open minded and free-spirited.
LIFE IS NOT SERIOUS!!
@James No matter how much you “fuck what everyone else thinks” the people you surround yourself with influence you and you influence them. If you have a problem, such as introversion (yes, introversion IS a problem) and you surround yourself with others with the same problem, you’ve created a cesspool of that problem. It’s a downward spiral, a negative feedback loop. The only possible outcome is severe, crippling introversion.
@Jay, I felt this way for a long time, and I’ve tried to deal with it in various ways. One thing I did was try to be more loving and accepting and social with anybody and everybody, and I find it goes a long way to make life more enjoyable and less lonely. Some people, of course, you will find unable to communicate with because you’re on totally different levels, but it’s good to extend the gesture towards anybody, you’ll be surprised what you may find.
I have also found there are many people in the same position. Just like you, I started a facebook group where discussions that were very similar to what we have at HE took place, and we had many great discussions. From there, I even met people in real life who I could communicate with. I also eventually came across other groups that others had made, for the very same purpose! So obviously there is a common theme.
I was somewhat introverted for the same reason you were, but when I realized the value of social experience, I tried to be more social any way, and I met people who had similar interests. Many people even respected my intellect and wanted to hear what I had to say on various topics. One thing, though, is to avoid sounding arrogant. You don’t want to to walk around like you’re smarter than everyone else, even if you are.
I do not believe that introversion is a problem, but rather a different approach to social interaction. Like I said before– I am genuinely interested in other people, and I am a very eloquent conversationalist, so I think that I could hold a conversation with even the most introverted if we discussed something that is intellectually stimulating.
I’ve had an interesting conversation with someone who has Aspergers Syndrome about Quantum Mechanics, the possibility of other life forms in the universe, and religion. By you saying that introversion is a problem you are basically labeling all introverts as negative, aloof critics.
actually Tine, I don’t think he’s wrong. I think that finding balance between the two and avoiding the extremes is important, and suggested Jay experiment with being different than he described himself. as I see it, this matches with James’ idea that one can be a charismatic introvert but you are probably right about the wording being confusing.
James: I didn’t mean to imply that there are any impossible combinations. mix and match those four words from my post any way you like. I’ve known deep-thinking extroverts and introverts who were social butterflies. change amounts to turning up the volume on the aspects that aren’t being expressed, different for each of us.
A: It depends on the introvert.
I’ve definitely been there and recently I’m trying to snap out of that segregated mindset. Every person has something of value to teach us, and if we’re focused on a “I’m this way, searching for this personality type or field of conversation specifically in my interactions, and most other people are this way”, we are a lot less likely to see value in social exchanges or benefit from our surroundings. I’ve noticed that a lot of less “intellectual” types have stronger than average observational or emotional strengths. Perhaps what we can learn from them is to stop thinking so damn much all the time. It ruins things a lot.