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| Derrick Pickerill
It was roughly in October when I stumbled upon High-Existence (Literally). Before discovering this site there was no meaning behind my thoughts, my goals were to go through school and get a good job, I didn’t workout, I was an alcoholic, I smoked cigarettes, and all around was not a happy/healthy person.
When I started reading articles on this site it really opened my eyes, the concepts were things I strongly believed in and that I could incorporate into my life. Thus began my “awakening”. I started by writing all my personal flaws on a white board and I made a firm decision to change myself for the better.
I now workout at least 3 times a week and have gained substantial muscle and physique, I work harder at school because I now have a passion for learning, I no longer go to work hating my job in fact I treasure the connections I have made with customers/co-workers, I no longer regret things that I did wrong in the past instead I look at them as learning tools to make me a better person, I quit smoking cigarettes, I still drink but have cut down to once a week tops (Instead of the 5-7 times a week), I have repaired the broken relationship with my parents/family, and the biggest thing for me is I wake up every morning happy knowing that nothing could happen on this day to take my happiness away.
Somethings I would still like to work on is my attachment to material possessions, my ability or inability to forgive others, daily meditation, and I’m still trying to work on finding a new way of using internet resources for income so I can travel across this beautiful planet and not have to worry about work.
I’m extremely thankful for High-existence it has seriously changed my life, and I enjoy all the new friendships with the community.(Hopefully we could find a way to have a convention or something where we could all get together.)
But this is my story I would like to hear yours.
Derrick
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| Jordan Lejuwaan
Thank you for sharing that Derrick :) Your story made my day.
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| Kathryn
Thats awesome! Glad to c people taking charge of their life and creating positive change! And also realize that the people that surround u can see the change in you and that may inspire a positive change n them! Good stuff!
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| Cameron
Derrick glad to hear it! Before High Existence I was a conservative Christian who was wasting my life stressing over my authoritarian parents, school, friends, and my girlfriend. High Existence has showed me how much we actually control about our lives. Before I felt like I was living my life just watch time pass, but now I am actively seeking to better myself. Now I actually do my homework, have a better relationship with my parents and girlfriend, and am a much more easy-going guy. Also I am still attempting to establish better dream recall so i can lucid dream, am meditating multiple times a week and am journaling in an attempt to examine myself more objectively.
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| Martijn Schirp
Wow great stories so far! Really inspiring Derrick and very brave posting it on an internet forum like this. It feels to me its just the tip of the iceberg and there’s much more to explore!
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| Morgan
Since joining the HE community, I have come to believe in my beliefs with stronger confidence and have found new beliefs and have come to know myself with a new enlightenment. I have gained social and physical confidence, and I do a lot more reading on top of my usual amount. I have gained friends and now have a place to share my thoughts with people who I know will accept them or at least respect them.
I’m digging this discussion out of the last page of our 182 pages of discussions because it’s been too long that we’ve heard awesome stories like Derrick’s. So you have all had a year to come up with something of the like, now make this good discussion longer than just 5 posts people!
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| Morgan
*180 pages of discussions. excuse me.
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| Ray Butler
I wonder what the very first discussion was? Probably an anouncement by Jordan.
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| Bryan Hellard
Well… I may edit this at a later date to make it longer/more detailed.
Highexistence showed me… It has opened my eyes. It allowed me to see what’s truly important in this world, it allowed me to find out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, it allowed me to look within to find the answers.
“It allowed me” may be the wrong phrase, it was a catalyst that showed me a new way to approach… Life. Before, I was going through the motions. I was going to go to university, get my 4-5 years done, get a job, and that’s it. Now, I’ve changed my education 3 times (bounced around between a few ideas, still haven’t quite settled :P), figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life, and figured out what to do now to get there.
I was a pretty chill dude before, but I am the chillest dude you will ever meet. Highexistence taught me that everything I want to control I can, and that we have more power then we can imagine. It also taught me to try and plan less, to be more willing to go with the flow, take chances, have new experiences.
It has been a vessel to share my thoughts, and to help uncover new thoughts. I have found kindred souls that share my passions, but also it has showed me how little I have in common with everyone around me (or at least, what I know of them.) Regardless, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I feel like I have more thoughts, but I also feel like I’m about to start rambling and repeating myself over and over again. I’ll come back to this when it’s not 2 AM
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| Ray Butler
(on HE history, Em gave me a link and I posted this there, I feel I should bung it here as well)
I’m a hipster, I dropped out of High school before it was cool to do so, back in 1997. I’m from Australia, in fact Sydney, New South Wales and I have never left Australia. I have left N.S.W on two occasions, both were when I went to Canberra (this is a geography joke).
When I left high school, I followed my dream of being a pot-head, a dream I held for ten years. In that time I was a lowly street sweeper and had begun to take speed. Soon enough shit hit the fan and I had a break down. In hospital I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I managed to quit the speed, but kept up the pot.
I spent a lot of time writing, but really it was to myself and had some rather alarming ideas to it. There were some really good ideas but a lot of wack-job content also.
When I finally did give up on my dream to be a pot head looser for the rest of my life, all this dust settled in my mind and at last I could make sense of my ravings. I found it was not crazy at all, just jumbled. I saw that yes indeed I am a philosopher, theorist, a practical idea person but I am also a fiction writer.
When you have a whigged out mind with so much fact and fiction rattling around together, it is understandable how one could seem mad. Another problem I had was I was great at both asking and answering questions, the thing was I was asking myself. This is incredibly dangerous to me because it is like when an irresistable force meets an unmovable object.
Anyway, just recently, 3 or 4 months ago (give or take) I decided to look into quantum physics, just a passing interest, so I typed it into Google and what came up, amongst numerous others, was “The Quantum mind-fuck”. I thought, what the hey, I’ll have a look, and it brought me to High Existence.
I had a quick look but didn’t take much note but I did later decide to show my brother the quantum mind-fuck.
For some unknown compulsion I kept coming back to the site and finally decided I will join up. At this time I was not on Facebook, nor did I even have my own E-mail address but I used my brothers and voila here I am. I have since sorted out a lot of this internet crap but still learning.
Since I have been here I have made the best descision I have ever made, besides choosing to sign up here, and that is to persue my passions. I have begun my first novel and I have decided that even if it is a dismal failure, that is beside the point, it is a success already because I love to do it.
So thanks HE, Jordan, all the HEthens and all those part of this transition in my life that has been made.
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| stonedragon
ray is this story about your life or someone else. it is incredible. i love your postings always. im so happy to read what you write.
infact all these storys about everyones life. it is so enriching for me.
at this stage in my lifeHE has really come to the rescue .it is as if the universe is good to all of us and gives us what we need when we need it.
and for us all to know there are like minded folks out there that we can communicate with is a blessing and a huge help indeed.
HE has helped me in a great way. and i wont bore you all with my story, which some of you may know, but needless to say.
its great to be here. with all of you.
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| Ray Butler
Oh this is my story, stonedragon, thanks for what you said. I have a real soft spot for you, we have had some good chats in time. I don’t think your story could possibly be invalid or unworthy. I strongly encourage you to consider sharing. If anyone has had it hard in life on this site, I know you have and I feel that despite how hard it will be for both yourself to tell and others to read, I know you will inspire because you have this spirit that we love and share together. So no pressure, just do not dismiss what you have to offer so easily.
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| stonedragon
oh thanks rayman. i really want to write it out. i will but now i said im gonna do yoga. and i have been saying that to myself for the last hour, and then i get into HE and reading all these great postings and the day rolls by…. so perhaps i will write a brief story later tonite. im super greatful for you being there and i see you in that aussie sun over there in the summertime! at the opposite side of our little ball…. with your feet on my head as i stand on my head soon!
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| Ray Butler
top and tail, you can keep my feet warm in freezing France ;)
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| stonedragon
or you can keep my head in the sun in sunny auz!
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| luigi
Great Story Derrick. I went through something very similar and I couldn’t have said it better myself. Keep it going. You and everyone else with similar stories on here. :)
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| Anonymous
Awesome read Derrick, thanks for sharing so openly and honestly. It made my day to read your story, and I felt joy in thinking that yet another person on this earth has chosen to take the reins of their life and choose control and desire over avoidance and conformity.
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| General Tits Von Chodehoffen
Good stories.
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| stonedragon
tits im curious how HE helps you. i always love your little comments. always so to the point. makes me confident that you are always there …..
and yes it is miraculous how Derrick tells us that this site got him on track with his life. that makes us all want to go on with HE.
see how much we can do to help each other, and knowing that there are people suffering more than us, makes us all wake up and want to reach out and forget our own suffering.
we all have unlimited potential to be free!
and HE is helping us all to realize that.
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| Bryan Hellard
@ Stonedragon and Tits
I’m curious on both your stories.
@ Luigi Should I just imagine you in Derricks story?
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| PDC
I was on a journey long before coming to HE and have continued on in a somewhat independent way apart from it, I confess to having a somewhat arrogant paternalistic approach to the conversations I have here.
Financially though I lurch from one disaster to another probably because I remain completely unqualified and a work history with Microsoft, rapid development of a 5 language skillset and self taught programmer and web designer gets you….work as a taxi driver…woot!
Such is life, just another obstacle to overcome. A big part of it is a financial hangover from trying to launch a nationwide distribution operation for a new veterinary pharmacutical range, to young and to inexperienced. Shame because the product was awesome, particularly around arthritis and I felt like I was creating a social good by diminishing the need for NSAIDs with a genuine more effective product.
So I struggle on. Debt ends this year I hope and with the end of the debt so ends the 85-90 hour work weeks.
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| daveb
I’ve been here just over a year now and want to thank Martijn and Jordan for the showing me how to grow:
I came to HE a bit later than many (35) so I had a little bit of Peter’s mindset at first . . . but HE is full of people who are teaching me what I don’t yet know (http://www.highexistence.com/spoiler-alert-you-do-not-exist was one of the first) so I was quickly humbled.
As a husband/father life is full but I’ve made more time to read, got myself back into “college crew team” shape, cut down my drinking and cranked up my meditating . . . so HE has helped me improve parts of my existence that I’d previously thought were Good Enough. lots of ripple effects from those kinds of changes.
the other thing HE has done is magnified parts of myself. I’ve always been a spy – I live in Vermont but work in the “real world” (today I have two meetings w/financial firms in lower manhattan) and I make sure to bring myself to those meetings, no posturing. I spend the money I make locally – funneling dollars from corporations to co-ops is my motto – and the only politics I preach is to encourage others to do the same. HE convinced me that I need to keep doing that, resist the urge to retreat into the world of people who already think like I do.
Who’s next? I think Martijn and Jordan will appreciate knowing the differences they are making in the lives of 10K+ HEthens!!
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| SumtinProphetic
I stumbled upon this site and it preached and reaffirmed many of the philosophies on life I previously held. After becoming more involved, it significantly strengthened the positive ideals and helped eliminate the negative character traits I used to have.
I would say this site played a substantial role in helping me maintain a positive attitude through the highs and lows of starting my business – from inception to the current level of success I’m finding. It has also made me a better person :)
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| General Tits Von Chodehoffen
@stonedragon21, Sorry I didn’t see this till 126 days later, but I guess HE helps me remember that there are nice people out there. Makes me less bitter.
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| Sasho Stoyanov
@generaltitsvonchodehoffen, I always thought you cannot stand too nice people.
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Anonymous
