How to Get Rid of Conditioning

3 years ago

I’m currently having one of the roughest times in my life and everything seems to stress me out. I self-injure which I hate about myself (though this week I have begun to seek serious help for it), I’m about to graduate college in May, because of this I have amassed a huge debt which hangs over my head like a storm cloud, my boyfriend and I are falling apart which is something that is eating me up and I could go on, but no one likes sob stories.

Anyway, I am trying my hardest to begin dealing with all of my problems, things that I’ve been ignoring, pretending that they don’t exist til they go away or seem to… this ignoring of my problems and refusal to deal with them that is leading my relationship to fall apart.

To get to the point, my whole life my family has always ignored the big issues, *sshhhh, they don’t exist* I hate confrontation, I think because I don’t know how to do it constructively…. I want to get rid of this conditioning and the conditioning of always trying to be the perfect child (which often leads me to be unhappy and not try things I want to for fear that I’ll fail) but I don’t know how to start, was wondering if ya’ll could help me?

April 21, 2012 at 9:16 am

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of Peter Peter (@searchingforthetruth) 3 years ago ago

@Zenzi,

There are alot of good threads on this website as well as articles. Immerse yourself in it all. Immerse yourself in knowledge, constantly seek new answers. Watch the videos on here and look at the pictures. Its all really great stuff.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of sidthegeek sidthegeek (@sidthegeek) 3 years ago ago

@Zenzi,

I would start with an attempt to completely accept a basic fact of life: No one is infallible. Every single one of us makes mistakes, then feels guilty about them, and then beats up on ourselves. Making mistakes is simply a part of being human. So whenever the thought of beating up on myself comes up, I would take heart in the fact that that too is part of my being human.

I’m sure you realize that all of the issues you mention – trying to be the perfect child, hating yourself for the debt, blaming yourself for the relationship problems – can be addressed in some way by that recognition: you are human, you make mistakes, and so does everyone else. That’s just how it is, it’s a fact of life, no matter what kinds of pretenses people attempt. Take heart in that fact, and you will feel better.

Good luck, may you be peaceful and happy.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of R.V. Star R.V. Star (@rickvonstar) 3 years ago ago

mistakes….or just experiences?

[Hidden]
1

“I hate confrontation”
Martial arts, boxing, or Jiu Jitsu can fix that.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Clementine Clementine (@clementine) 3 years ago ago

Look inward. To unlearn you have to clear your slate and learn new things, better things. When I experienced a time with similar stressors I took a step back and realized I needed to start doing things for me. Get rid of the notion that it matters what anyone else thinks. For me, it was a music festival, i was given a chance to be in a place where only one person knew me so I could find myself and build up and be the person I wanted to be. I wish you the best.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Zenzi Zenzi (@swimsylph) 3 years ago ago

Thanks guys :)

@General Tits Von Chodehoffen that actually sounds like a really good idea… now to find somewhere I can learn that

sorry I’m not replying to all of ya’ll… rather drunkk at the moment woo

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic
What can you accomplish in 30 days? Join our site-wide challenge. Challenge Yourself

More Posts Like This

1

Profile photo of LVX What is your deepest fear?

Today I was asked what is my deepest fear? I don’t know how most would react to this sort of question but it took me a while to come up with a satisfactory answer. At first I though of the obvious, an answer I am...

1
1

Profile photo of LVX My thoughts on a new approach to ISIS

It is easy to say that the way to defeat the extremists, or whatever you would like to call them, is to eliminate them. Attack them and destroy their leaders, and followers to try and create peace. If we eliminate the...

1
3

Profile photo of LVX mindbody pain

Does anyone have experience to share about correcting physical injuries and diseases with meditation or emotional therapy? I’ve had chronic pain and reduced activity level for the past year which does not seem...

14
7

Profile photo of Mikey W Weight of Boredom

I get bored. – Deftones. You know what the most fascinating aspect, the most intriguing trait in which I continually to to understand and adopt? It’s motivation, or inspiration. It’s that feeling when...

17
11

Profile photo of anjelica Are we one single organism?

I was reading some interesting topics one of these days when i came by this idea: that we are one single element wich is constantly renewing and under constant mutation, So terms as life and death are merely contexts,...

11
1

Profile photo of GarrettMc The Simile of Truth

Imagine a simple scene, A harbor and the vast ocean beyond it, the water is truth,  there is no better water than other water, however some water runs deep. Many people stay in the harbor, living their lives in the...

0
1

Profile photo of sin DEPERSONALIZATION

JUST WANTED TO HEAR FROM THOSE WHO HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED DEPERSONALIZATION/DEREALIZATION , AND HOW YOU DEAL/DEALT WITH IT AT THE TIME? DID YOU FIND IT WENT AWAY WHEN YOU WAS LESS STRESSED AND MORE BUSY? DOES IT EVER GO...

23
1

Profile photo of Viner Cent What is your deepest fear?

Today I was asked what is my deepest fear? I don’t know how most would react to this sort of question but it took me a while to come up with a satisfactory answer. At first I though of the obvious, an answer I am...

1
30

Profile photo of Van Nguyen [HE 30 Day Challenge] April 2015 – Project or Skill

Hello good people! This month’s challenge is going to be different from the others in two ways: The nature of this challenge will allow you to actually show your progress throughout the month, making it more useful...

103
2

Profile photo of LVX What's the deal with aliens?

I’ve never been particularly interested in extra terrestrial life, but been hearing about it quite allot lately, so I’ve devoted an afternoon looking at YouTube vids, and checking which info is available. I...

24
1

Profile photo of Etalia D.I.D. and consciousness (menal illness)

Nice to see you again HE!I miss the positivity of this community, but I’ve been on a hiatus from the site for a while now. (everything is so different! and not just because the site has changed) I want to tell you...

0
1

Profile photo of Mikey W The Global Inquisition

We are in the beginning stages of a global inquisition.  Nazi Germany, The Spanish Inquisition, Pol Pot’s dictatorship, on a global scale… I don’t think it necessarily has to turn out that way… for...

7
1

Profile photo of Imperium Microdosing

I you use cannabis, what’s your experiencing with daily micro dosing? By micro dosing, i mean having just 4 to 6 puffs per day.

0
2

Profile photo of Kyle van der Walt May sobriety challenge

Hello fellow HEthens! I have been using a few state altering drugs this year. To list a them: Alcohol, coffee, sugar, nicotine, ecstasy, poppers and LSD. I haven’t been over doing any of them in particular but I...

5
2

Profile photo of LVX 19 and Lost.

To start this off I’m going to give you a brief description of my past life till now. Ever since I was little, I had wanted to make music my lifestyle, become a famous producer, had people telling me ill get far! I...

1