How to Get Rid of Conditioning

2 years, 9 months ago

I’m currently having one of the roughest times in my life and everything seems to stress me out. I self-injure which I hate about myself (though this week I have begun to seek serious help for it), I’m about to graduate college in May, because of this I have amassed a huge debt which hangs over my head like a storm cloud, my boyfriend and I are falling apart which is something that is eating me up and I could go on, but no one likes sob stories.

Anyway, I am trying my hardest to begin dealing with all of my problems, things that I’ve been ignoring, pretending that they don’t exist til they go away or seem to… this ignoring of my problems and refusal to deal with them that is leading my relationship to fall apart.

To get to the point, my whole life my family has always ignored the big issues, *sshhhh, they don’t exist* I hate confrontation, I think because I don’t know how to do it constructively…. I want to get rid of this conditioning and the conditioning of always trying to be the perfect child (which often leads me to be unhappy and not try things I want to for fear that I’ll fail) but I don’t know how to start, was wondering if ya’ll could help me?

April 21, 2012 at 9:16 am

You must sign in or join to reply!

1
Profile photo of Peter Peter (@searchingforthetruth) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

@Zenzi,

There are alot of good threads on this website as well as articles. Immerse yourself in it all. Immerse yourself in knowledge, constantly seek new answers. Watch the videos on here and look at the pictures. Its all really great stuff.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of sidthegeek sidthegeek (@sidthegeek) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

@Zenzi,

I would start with an attempt to completely accept a basic fact of life: No one is infallible. Every single one of us makes mistakes, then feels guilty about them, and then beats up on ourselves. Making mistakes is simply a part of being human. So whenever the thought of beating up on myself comes up, I would take heart in the fact that that too is part of my being human.

I’m sure you realize that all of the issues you mention – trying to be the perfect child, hating yourself for the debt, blaming yourself for the relationship problems – can be addressed in some way by that recognition: you are human, you make mistakes, and so does everyone else. That’s just how it is, it’s a fact of life, no matter what kinds of pretenses people attempt. Take heart in that fact, and you will feel better.

Good luck, may you be peaceful and happy.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of R.V. Star R.V. Star (@rickvonstar) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

mistakes….or just experiences?

[Hidden]
1

“I hate confrontation”
Martial arts, boxing, or Jiu Jitsu can fix that.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Clementine Clementine (@clementine) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

Look inward. To unlearn you have to clear your slate and learn new things, better things. When I experienced a time with similar stressors I took a step back and realized I needed to start doing things for me. Get rid of the notion that it matters what anyone else thinks. For me, it was a music festival, i was given a chance to be in a place where only one person knew me so I could find myself and build up and be the person I wanted to be. I wish you the best.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of Zenzi Zenzi (@swimsylph) 2 years, 9 months ago ago

Thanks guys :)

@General Tits Von Chodehoffen that actually sounds like a really good idea… now to find somewhere I can learn that

sorry I’m not replying to all of ya’ll… rather drunkk at the moment woo

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic

More Posts Like This

6

[Official] Site-Wide February Meditation Challenge!

Welcome to the first of many monthly HE 30 day challenges! We ran a poll to choose the challenge, and the winner was meditation, with dream journaling as a close second. The rules are simple: 1) Meditate at least once...

1

Innocence and Purity of Being

My Fourth and Last Ayahuasca Ceremony I intently concentrated on my intention with a slight sadness in my heart, that this would be my last and final Ayahuasca ceremony in Peru. While meditating I focused on clearing my...

1

Pure Acceptance and Surrender

My third Ayahuasca ceremony represented for me the interconnectedness of all living things and the meeting of the hearts of all beings. While sitting and meditating and concentrating on opening up my heart and completely...

1

The Unfurling of my Heart

My Second Journey with Ayahuasca New Years Eve My intention was to focus on opening up my heart and clearing my mind. Jose sang his beautiful Icaros and initiated the ceremony with Mapacho. I had my larger cup of...

1

My Journey of the Heart

My First Ceremony with Ayahuasca I just want to take some time to shed a little light on my story and my personal journey before I embarked on my journey with Ayahuasca. I have wanted to travel to Peru and South America...

1

I have a guy problem – I really don't like guys.

Hi. I need advice…. I am having a really hard time *liking* guys. I feel like if I make out with a guy more than once if we are drunk or just at a party I tend to have feelings for them, or grow feelings for them,...

5

Your biggest questions in life?

I have many questions I would love to be answered, but it occured to me there are probably tonnes more great questions I haven’t even thought of. What are some of the questions you would like to know the most, or...

1

Do Drugs Change You?

Do drugs change who you are, or do they unlock your inner being? I started out as a very hood drug user who knew everything there is to know about life but then i had my experiences with psychs and now im a peaceful guy...

19

Suggestions for a site-wide HE 30 day challenge?

**I’ve created a poll for the different types of challenges here: http://tally.tl/BEnr2** —- Starting in February, we’re going to have monthly 30-day challenges! We had a very successful challenge years...

6

Any Trip Stories?

I just wanted to make a hot discussion with a lot of replies and i also like sharing and listening to trip stories so if you have one feel free to share it and it might also help people who hasn’t tripped but are...

1

Streamlet of consciousness

blitzed in the early coursing midnight and palsied out, neatly, on the frenetic curb of a five blunt rotation. spliced into reality’s sharp edge. A gyrating universe crank silhouetted askance stilted time tableaus...

1

My Dream Life Infringes on My Real Life!

Hi all! For just a little background info, I have been dreaming my other life for 24 years now. I fall off to sleep and enter into my next life not skipping a beat. I will give you my dream resume: Spring of 1991-Fall of...

2

acid room

Hey guys this is reiko the dragon and I wanted to know about your experiences with acid and I also wanted to know if anything tops acid or comes close to the experience

1

Paying for college is for the experience not the classes.

Hey everyone. So my name is Chris and I actually found this website yesterday. I have been on it non-stop today in between my crazy college schedule. I have found a lot of people who are posting about how bad college is!...

1

Looking for friends ?

I’m Indian, 17, I read a lot, I’m pretty normal I think. Smoke weed sometimes, just looking for cool people to talk to and share worries with. I’m a good listener and have some free time on my hands, so...