How to get rid of loving an imaginary person?

2 years, 3 months ago

I thought about it, because i fell in love a long time ago with a person that turned out to be totally different than i imagined. Now somehow i still love the person he is not, and every time i have to convince myself it is not the real person because he is not the same as my imaginary person inside my mind. THe problem is i am involved with this imaginary person, because i love that person and i dream of that person literally i don’t want to i dont even mean to but i want to get rid of it, how to stop this madness?? I even feel i can’t be totally involved with someone else because my feelings are towards this imaginary person that is not even REAL…………….it keeps sustaining itself through feelings that somehow are linked towards an unreal image….

December 31, 2012 at 12:29 pm

You must sign in or join to reply!

2
Profile photo of DaJetPlane DaJetPlane M (@lytning91) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

What you must start to do is realize that the person you have created in your mind is simply a manifestation of ideals you truly do cherish in a person. You are certainly disappointed that you have to recognize this guy isn’t what you are seeking, but the beautiful thing about life is that each misstep is actually a step away from the wrong and eventually toward the right.

These things you’ve come to know about what you like will carry you more swiftly to the person you’ll one day fall for, either that or your standards will get even more refined with time and you’ll come to find what you are imaging now is merely a shallow representation of what you’ll one day really want.

[Hidden]
1
Profile photo of TheSkaFish TheSkaFish M (@theskafish) 2 years, 3 months ago ago

@heartbeat,

@lytning91, nailed it. You have to realize that you’re in love with these traits you thought this person had…yes, it is crushing to know that they really aren’t it in the end, but that’s what you have to remember. You asked me on your other thread what worked for me to dispel this illusion – I just looked back, stepped outside myself and my bias, and really looked at who the person was I liked, and I realized she didn’t have the traits I was attracted to anymore, that it’s like you said, I was only attracted to my memories of her and my perception of her….but neither of those things are the real person, here and now. I realized that even now, even if things were reversed and she would want me, that I would still say no because I wouldn’t be fulfilled….I see her objectively, instead of how I wish she was. And I know that somewhere, there really is someone else who embodies the traits and ideals I seek.

That, and you just have to give it time. In my case, my crush went away for several months, and that gave me time to get her out of my mind. When she came back, I had already looked at the situation objectively, and realized that I didn’t even really want to call her anymore, because I realized that I wasn’t truly attracted to who she is, and that you can neither change anyone outside yourself nor can you afford to wait for someone to change. I just let the whole thing go, and have been happier since.

[Hidden]
Reply to this topic
What can you accomplish in 30 days? Join our site-wide challenge. Challenge Yourself

More Posts Like This

1

Profile photo of Belle Lexi Friends to share my experiences with

I want to get to know people and hear what they have to say. You don’t have to be physically present to develop a friendship. A friend is someone who is wiling to put what their doing down to listen and focus on...

0
5

Profile photo of Enriched Panda Happiness..

It seems to me, that what we as a people desire most in this life is happiness. We are constantly without end seeking out that good feeling inside of us that keeps us as a species trucking forward. There is something...

3
1

Profile photo of josephm Life decisions

I was thinking the other day and realized how much of our younger and teenager life makes a difference later in life. It could just be a mess up In high school and just change that individuals life in a negative way....

4
1

Profile photo of josephm Jaw Still Trembling Two Days After First Drug/MDMA Experiences?

I took one cap on Sunday with my partner of MDMA that was tested (to at least being MDxx); I had some jaw tremors. On Monday I took one more, and I had such jaw shakes, body shakes, and pale skin, that my partner said he...

6
1

Profile photo of ethan chua My experiences with Stimulants

Two months ago I cam across this thing called research chemicals. I was very interested so I researched on it for about two weeks straight. First thing you should know, there is a lot of information out there and some is...

2
24

Profile photo of Garima [HE 30 Day Challenge] April 2015 – Project or Skill

Hello good people! This month’s challenge is going to be different from the others in two ways: The nature of this challenge will allow you to actually show your progress throughout the month, making it more useful...

95
1

Profile photo of josephm get to it

live along the guidelines sing the song that finds time ring the gong that signs blind hope is gone im hindsight life is but a light fight blight versus might connection is my stripes convection recollection add some goo...

0
1

Profile photo of caitlin cameron trip report

the summer of 2014. i was only 15; i had no idea what love was.  you said it was never unrequited love, but what i perceived was just as bad. you loved the idea of a deadbeat me who would care only when you cared,...

0
1

Profile photo of josephm "Open system" is necessary for healthy relationships and friendship?

In interpersonal relationships, let “open system” be a state when they have some external inputs for their relationships. It can be a common activity or a hobby or an information supply, for instance....

1
1

Profile photo of josephm Do you really want to live forever?

there is something about living forever that scares me more than dying. can humanity ever be “perfected”? i mean what is our goal in trying to live for as long as possible why do we stress it so much and why...

1
1

Profile photo of SuperManong The nonexistence of self, or a 'person'

Well, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a self, or in a larger scales, a human being or any other animals. The only thing that exists is my consciousness, and it is free of race, color, gender,...

16
26

Profile photo of SuperManong What single change would have the MOST positive impact on the world?

Could be societal, political, economical, etc. In other words, if we could only change ONE thing about the world to better our lives, what should it be?

94
3

Profile photo of Chocomur Need good advice

Hello,  I have problem at work. I work in big team ( just started work one month ago), but there is one employee, who is very rude, shoot at me and tease me all the time. I feel so stressful, everyday I feel so...

10
2

Profile photo of jabcrew. Why cant someone make an ios or android app for this website :l

I mean, wouldn’t it be cooler and waaay more convenient for us stoners 

0
1

Profile photo of LVX What Is The Universe Expanding Into?

Come on, admit it, you’ve had this question. “Since astronomers know that the Universe is expanding, what’s it expanding into? What’s outside of the Universe?” Ask any astronomer and you’ll get an...

1