'I am Adam Lanza's Mother' ; re-thinking mental illness
Great article addressing the route problems of the recent shooting in Newtown.
The U.S. has the highest incarceration rate in the world. We are using our prisons as a solution for the mentally ill, yet this chaotic environment does not work to correct their mental issues at all, instead it adds to them. Really, does it make sense to lock mentally insane people together so that they can learn from each other and become an even worse threat to society? What about placing them in an environment full of educators that will work to change their point of view?
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I read the article yesterday and didn’t find it great. This mother couldn’t take absolutely any responsibility for her son’s behavior and how she raised him to be like that. Need I say more? To free herself of any guilt that she fucked up big time somewhere in raising him, she exaggerates her situation and has the nerve to compare her son with a 20 year old dead mass murderer. To show again how afraid she was to even raise a kid who complains like every 13 year old kid who wants to just play, she compares it with a family she knows nothing about.
A bullshit article with nothing relevant to mental illnesses, but incompetent mothers promoted by idiotic journalist.
Thanks for your attention.
One of the many problems is that all mental illness, in public consciousness at least, is still all lumped together as crazy. The human will is an incredible thing that will find its way, even when dealing with insanity. It’s important that we don’t lump insanity like bipolar with sociopathy, they are very different and must be dealt with differently. We should also not so readily and willingly disassociate ourselves from evil acts by saying that the person committing these acts. Many sane people have done evil as well. We must resist the temptation to lump all the insane as potential Joker’s and Carnage’s.
an amalgamation of many factors made this perfect storm,
this is a failure of humanity orchestrating a practice known as civilization.
the degrees of responsibility ARE proportional to the proximity of the perpetration,
but the system failed as a whole to catch this anomaly.
@beyond, For a lack of ANY greater words. Your an idiot.
Have you ever met a child, or person with a mental disease? Now I’m not trying to judge, I just want to give you a different view point. This child has a very high IQ, but is being held back by his incapability to socially thrive, or mentally thrive because he has a dis-ease. Its not about how the mother raised him. Its within the child, is an imbalance in his chemicals or a mis-wiring in his brain, something of this sort. It is likely his mental state had little to do with the mothers nurturing techniques.
And would you not be terrified for yourself, and for your child’s well being, if every once in a while he claims he will kill you, or himself. This is a terrifying thing for any mother. Or person to hear.
And with the relating of her young child with a “20 year old dead mass murderer”, well she is just trying to get the point across that is is a possibility that her son could go down this road. And she wants to find a way stop any harm from happeneing, as well as any blame from being thrown around.
Its insanely true that we now know all the names of those who are “murders: They have the fame. Fame shouldn’t be involved, we should be trying to heal, and reach out to the victims. Figure out what happened.
I also wanted to note, I like her point about the mentally ill just being thrown in jail. Who does that benefit? and thank you @luciferslawyer, I appreciated your comment alot.
@brittanyrm, Thank you for that article, I think it was eye opening to the reaction to mental illness in kids.
@beyond, How would you explain that her other two kids are well behaved, or normal? Also, I don’t know about you, but I have never threatened to kill my parents, or myself.
@luciferslawyer, Can you please explain why being bi-polar is being insane, but being a sociopath is not? I’m not saying I don’t agree, I just don’t understand the point you were making.
@thekingofthenorth, Holy thesaurus batman! I think what I get from your statement is that civilization, or society, is bad system for humans to engage in. What do you think about the fact that we have been civilized for over 3,000 years now?
I certainly think the world needs to treat mental illness better. Does anyone find it weird that it seems like there are more mentally ill in the most recent generations? Or is it just that we have the social media capabilities to spread these kinds of stories?
@mentalkink, If you lack great words, at least spell the others right. Yes, I have met people with mental illnesses and violent tendencies, most of the people with a mental illness were too disturbed to be violent and those that were had a history of abuse or violence – either by a parent or by someone else in their environment. Do you even know what are you talking about? “Imbalance in his chemicals” makes him kill? How did that imbalance happen? “WITHIN THE CHILD” (?)
Manipulating others isn’t related to being mentally ill unfortunately, it’s a skill, something you learn from others. Yes, comparing a 13 year old to 20 year old is being stupid.
If someone made me wear ugly pants when I was 13, I’d sure want to “kill someone” if I was never taught yet how bad that is, because my morals and views of the world would still be undeveloped and I couldn’t even think for my own, because I’d be 13 and listen to people what to do all the time.
Seriously? 13 and saying “This is America. I have rights!” Who the fuck even taught him to say that? The problem isn’t him at all.
@greenthinker, How would you explain it? It’s a bullshit story with only one point of view.
@greenthinker, Actually I’m saying both are forms of insanity, but not all insanity is equal. What I really believe is that sanity is such a relative…thing….that each human person occupies their own space on a sliding scale of thought processing. What we call sanity is the collection of most points along that scale, fall. Insanity could be described as all points outside that collection. Therefor the insane, function, but function differently. Too often what we do is use insane and crazy as synonyms. Crazy is non-functioning.
Yes, an imbalance of chemicals. & I never said that makes him kill. The imbalance happened as birth? I wouldn’t know about this boy, but seemingly anytime within the child’s life before the age of 13 this could of happened.
That’s a reason why we go on medicines, to put back, or effect already present chemicals within our body.
This is true, manipulation is something we learn, and I agree that the child has obliviously has been influenced by something, but he does live in America, television, people on the streets, and yes his parents all can effect what he knows, learned and uses.
But you cannot just assume the parents responsibility.
I have met an incredible amount of people with mental dis-eases throughout my short life, and they come from all kinds of backgrounds, family and labels.
Not every mentally diseased* person that becomes violent has been abused, or has seen abuse, its a raw human characteristic to be violent when you cannot express or are frustrated among many emotions. As well sometimes its uncontrollable, one cannot control themselves when doing such things, and they do not know why.
As well, I’m not saying that the child is the problem. But he obliviously needed help.
And its not normal to grab a knife and go at your mom intending death, over a pair of pants. That’s ridiculous to say this is “normal 13 year old behavior”
You don’t know what he was taught, and i’ll give you that, because it is possible that he dosent know right from wrong.
But again, generally you know right from wrong, bad behavior from good, killing = bad, at a fairly young age, before age 13 that for sure.
I agree the problem isn’t the child, its a much greater issue.
i think that’s the point of an asylum, to provide a place of care and growth for those who cannot control themselves, now, whether or not the specific asylum meets the standards is usually up to the individuals in charge, there are many bad examples, but i am sure there are good ones as well,
in the case of a good staff, why else would they be incapable of providing what you suggested? consider funding, it is easy to wish for a staff like that, but most places have only limited funding
@tine, As you have described an asylum, is correct; but, there is a connotation on the word that actually makes the place damaging, regardless of quality. A major problem with treating mental health issues, is that often to accept the offered help, one must legally or chemically surrender their free will. The truth is, getting “fixed” can do more damage than damage. Pills and treatments, that alter one’s thought process, potentially means losing one’s mind totally. These are weighty choices, that merit respect, respect that is often not afforded to the insane.
@luciferslawyer, Lots of good points on this topic it sound like you know about mental illness.
I do not know what this latest murderer’s motives were, but I feel like all of the killers mentioned in the article have some common traits: isolation, lack of socialization, spending much of their time in an alternative reality (not blaming video games here but it is a common thread).
In term of the article I do think the mother is a bit of a sensationalist. No doubt she is living her own personal hell, but I feel it is unlikely that her son will ever be the next American mass-murder celebrity. Her son has displayed distinct signs of mental illness, most likely an Autism spectrum disorder which is can present with the symptoms she mentions.
What I am trying to get at is that, I feel, these killers of the past ten years or so seem to be a new breed and exist in a bit of a paradox that is difficult to spot or profile. They become more reclusive, more alienated, more angry, they get made fun of and they stuff it down. They come home after school and disappear into their rooms, they don’t talk because the world has already labeled them as “freaks”. Mom and Dad are completely out of their league because they have never dealt with anything like this before and on the surface sure their kids is anti-social but he goes to school, does not do DRUGS, and is a lot less trouble then 90% of teenagers they hear about on a daily basis. Problem is all the pent-up anger, hatred, frustration has been boiling and it is about to EXPLODE. And does more and more often…I dare say that this kids is a perverse role model to some kids that are going battling with the same demons .
I do not feel that this is so much a mental illness issue. I am not the expert on this situation and I do not know the facts but I would want to ask parents: Does your child have regular social interaction? How many hours a day do they spend on their computer? What do they do to constructively relieve stress? What sites are they visiting? What games are they playing? I feel there are a lot of warning signs within these questions, the problem is that these kids are ‘sleeper’ killers.
In the 80s it was heavy metal making kids kill, today it is computer games.
I feel this whole situation is more a matter of people becoming disconnected, disconnected to classmates, reality, their own children.
But mental illness is easier to pin it on- so a bunch of parent will drug their kids– and we will turn up the TV.
@possiblehubris, I keep reposting this link to my site, not to garner attention, nut if I had to keep typing it out my fingers would fall off.
I think we are seeing the emergence of Joker style killers. Honestly, we need to get ahead of the curve on spotting these guys, and there needs to be a real debate on how to handle them.
@luciferslawyer, Checked out your blog– deep and eloquent stuff. I agree with the Joker-style killer theory. I recall watching the Dark Knight and getting chills. The Joker gives exposure to an Nihilist evil genius– I am afraid for the development of any evil geniuses. But in the meantime we have less intelligent copy-cats. People who have developed a nihilist worldview, feel that this is a way they can once again ‘feel’ something in life, their own mortality mattering nothing to them, they go out in a blaze of gunfire and carnage. Perhaps their motivation is to prove a point– living on this earth has rotted out my soul and turned it into THIS! I was going to say OR for the attention but I suppose that is not the case when they kill themselves. I never thought about it but Adam Lanza may have had a message, a message much more easily dismissed under the label mentally ill.