I need help

2 years, 7 months ago

I’m stuck in a situation that isn’t benefiting the quality of my existence. I’m away at a school that I’ve outgrown. I’ve become enlightened just to have my new lifestyle shot down by my parents . To them, love is not something you cant have while working towards a career. I’m putting more stress on a relationship than I need to be, and it all seems so simple. Leave, start a life with the guy of my dreams… Is is all that simple, or is it more complex? Is this common mistake or just a situation with a stigma attached?

September 4, 2012 at 9:40 pm

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Well your parents are making a rational decision; it is pretty rare to fall in love and have a successful relationship straight out of high school (Assuming you’re in high school).

But, at the same time, your parents are not you so they do not know what you are feeling.

The problem with this situation is the desensitization. Will this feeling you have last forever, really think about that, and imagine living every day with this person, moment by moment, as you go through all of life’s hard ships. The thing is a lot of people are very good at being in a relationship at certain points in their life, but that can change, and does change, often. What once seemed perfect can become stale.

That isn’t always the case though, and you need to answer that for yourself. Are you blinded by your love, or is there an understanding between the two of you like best friends, almost family. Do you two really bond well in all situations (not just a select few).

I can’t give you much more help than this, seeing as I know you little, and I know your boyfriend little.

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Profile photo of Peaceflower Peaceflower (@cosmicplur) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

We never know what experiences life will bring, all we can do is live them.
Take it step by step. Meditate, find happiness where you are. Its there, I have no doubt.
Now, common mistake? Yes. Absolutely lol.  situation stigma? Also yes., I leave hope here for not so common stories, I can only speak from my experience, (and I have to say, even though HE ended up being a mistake, our relationship and resulting break up was absolutely what I needed. Though it was heart wrenching, it was one of the most healthiest things in my life. So don’t worry about the future. You will end up where you are supposed to be.)

Like he said though, YOU will change, but without knowing you personally I don’t feel like I can comment any more on that end.

Good luck, I hope it helped

@chelseadags,

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Profile photo of Chelsea Chelsea (@chelseadags) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

I’m sorry I forgot to mention Im 20 and a sophmore in college

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Profile photo of Chelsea Chelsea (@chelseadags) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Thank you @cosmicplur and @ijesuschrist, for your helpful words. I think I have a lot of soul searching to do .

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Profile photo of Peaceflower Peaceflower (@cosmicplur) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Nothing but love here, if you find yourself needing, we are all going through this together. Just want you to know you can reach out (:

Enjoy your reflections, discovering your inner workings is something you can really only do for yourself, ive learned though, how important it can be to feel comfortable talking to people. Esp strangers. Sometimes they bring the purest message you never expected.

Namaste

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Profile photo of Em Em (@emily) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Just do what makes you happy, it IS that simple. If you find that what you’re doing isn’t making you happy, then you need to reevaluated & make some adjustments. I think your parents just want you to be happy too, but they also want to impose what they’ve learned in their lives onto yours. However, there’s not much to learn from life without making any mistakes. Take what your parents say into consideration, especially if their opinion means a lot to you, but live yourself for yourself.

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Profile photo of Milo Milo (@milo) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Wish not for things to happen, but wish for things to happen as they do and you’ll go on well.

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Stacey and I have two different points;
I say analyze it, really consider where you are going.
Stacey says just go with the flow you’ll end up where you need to be.

Do both. :) Just go with the flow, but have a little foresight where the flow is going. Don’t resist your parents either – they love you and are only worried about you.

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Profile photo of Nick Nick (@splashartist) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@chelseadags, The love you are talking about isn’t really love, just keep that in mind. Maybe it will help answer your question, which of course you already know the answer to.

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Profile photo of ces't la vie ces’t la vie (@citygirl9050) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@chelseadags trust me i know exactly how you feel… this article i read really helped me think about people’s advice (disregarding who they are in your life) a little better: http://lissarankin.com/stuff-everybody-has-no-business-saying

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Profile photo of Chelsea Chelsea (@chelseadags) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Thank you everyone who has shown me love and given me some advice. I appreciate it. I am so happy to have found HE and the people who are here as well.

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Profile photo of Peaceflower Peaceflower (@cosmicplur) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, thanks (: I’m not sure exactly what for, maybe for being awesome

Ah, for the perspective, now it comes to me

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Profile photo of Peaceflower Peaceflower (@cosmicplur) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

But still awesome. Haha

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Profile photo of Chelsea Chelsea (@chelseadags) 1 year, 9 months ago ago

@splashartist, Its been a little over 10 months, and all I have to say is you were right. I don’t know how you knew. In the back of my mind I would always think about the comment you made and would brush it off. It stayed with me for a reason I guess. Thank you for seeing someone that I was unable to see at the time. It may not seem like much coming from a complete stranger , but again, thank you.

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Profile photo of Nick Nick (@splashartist) 1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chelseadags, Wonderful! Glad it helped. Cheers :)

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Profile photo of Sean Sean (@season) 1 year, 9 months ago ago
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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chelseadags, You’re a teenager, it’ll be over soon.

The whole thing is a common mistake. Especially among teenagers.

You think you’re enlightened, but you’re not.

You think careers and love have to be a certain way, but they don’t.

You think the circumstances are your problem, but they’re not.

This whole “love” thing, that’s where the stigma comes in. Claiming another person for yourself won’t make you whole, just like a career won’t make you whole, money won’t make you whole.
The key to happiness is nowhere to be found in the world, it is in your mind. And you don’t need anything to find and use it. The more you look out there, the further from it you get, and the more miserable you will become in the future.

Things don’t always work out. Actually, they rarely do. This love and relationship stuff, it’s chaotic, messy, awkward, fragile, it never goes the way one wants it to go.
Don’t make such a big deal of it, it may or may not work, it may or may not last, it may or may not bring good vibes for a while.

Enlightenment is not something you get or become, it’s an unending journey, a continuous strife of glory. A person who claims to be enlightened is definitely not enlightened.

And I don’t mean anything personal or offensive by this, but you don’t know much at all. That’s the good news, you have so much to enjoy and learn, because experience is life and it’s the only real teacher.

If you wanna drop out of school, do it. School is lame, it’s outdated, the only thing it can do for you is get you a job which you’ll detest for the rest of your life.

Be free, follow your bliss

Peace and love
//Elion

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Profile photo of LVX LVX (@Vovinawol) 1 year, 9 months ago ago

@chelseadags, Since a child can be enlightened, and I don’t know you, I won’t say what you know or don’t know.

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