“I Want To Tell You”
I feel like all of the time I have things in my mind that I’d like to say or do. But they never seem to come out how I wanted them too. I am very much in love with this girl I just began dating, and I am afraid that not getting my thoughts out in the way I desire them will cause her to think I am somebody different than I truly am. I just want to be able to speak my mind truly to her.
Also, in the past 2 months I have taken LSD 3 or 4 times, and feel like I am trapped in my mind a lot of the time. I don’t really know if the drug has caused this, but I have the feeling that my emotions sometimes weigh me down and guide me through life in a zombie-like state. I have been having days where I am very happy and up, and then other days where I’m down and out. But I just began watching Spirit Science, and just the first part got me feeling great about being alive, being who I am.
So… I was wondering if anybody can relate to me, maybe give some advice or something…
P.S. sorry if this is a weak entry, it is my first…
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i would take it easy on the acid man, i mean it is great to open up the doors of perception, but then you gotta ease off a bit. becuz what it is able to show you needs to shine thru and you need to digest it. it is like intense food for your brain. if not you will get confused and your emotions will swing up and down like they are doing. you need to ride the wave a bit, and it will level out in time.
i know this all cuz i been thru it and after years life seems to teach you to just cruise a bit, and stay in the present moment.
relationships are always tricky things. trying to feel the other person out is not easy and knowing how much to open, and how much to let yourself be seen. if it feels safe and good like manimal said. go for it!! dont resist!
just love yourself man, and your girl will love you too. that is sure!
That happens to me too. I rarely actually tell someone how I truly feel about them out of fear that they will be uncomfortable somehow or because I won’t express myself as well as I want to. However, when I do talk to someone about this, we connect on a much deeper level than before. I usually only have that talk with them after we become very close, though, largely due to insecurity on my part. Also, I’ve never tried LSD, so I can’t really relate to that part of it.
As far as your girl goes, I think that it really depends. If you guys can get into deep conversations and you feel that you can be honest with her at any point, then go for it. If your relationship is not really that serious (mentally) yet, then I would personally be more cautious about telling her, especially if she regards it as a casual thing, but who knows? Maybe you telling her how you feel will really open her up as well (if she is not already, of course).
You gotta learn to control those thoughts and feelings, they shouldn’t be ruminant like that and they shouldn’t determine your mood. Meditation is the best method for this.
As for the girl situation. Always speak your mind, always be completely honest, never be afraid or hesitate. Otherwise you make her feel bad, she can sense those things, you’re resisting and rejecting her and she feels it. You’re also showing to her that you aren’t confident, happy and self-congruent, which overall makes you unattractive to women.
Don’t hold back, man. You’re hurting yourself and those around you. You were meant to be free and unstifled, not insecure and worried. Just stop resisting, kill all fear, and everything will be perfect.
Life is supposed to feel good, man. Be happy and don’t resist. You’re the man :)