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TheWalrus (@grosshaj)    1 year, 9 months ago

What if
Upon our meeting I asked You for just one thing?

Would you give me the chance to look in Your eye?

By A thing more provident than Chance
Would your eyes soften with a smile
so gentlly as to outline the corners of your mouth?

The Energy flows
Both of us inside
Where wisdom grows
And all warm feelings start and flow
Know
Friendship

0 votes, posted 12.03.2012 at 10:49 am
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Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@grosshaj, put more feeling into it, develop a vocabulary, use metaphors to stimulate the flux of sentiments through symbols, it`s nice but not good enough. I understood your poem intellectualy but i didn`t feel it, a poem without feeling is impotent.

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Avatar of TheWalrus
TheWalrus (@grosshaj)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@seeker, Thank you for your feedback. :) You are welcome to read and comment on anything I produce. Encouragement for reading aloud. :)

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Anonymous (@)1 year, 9 months ago ago

@grosshaj, i`m glad that you didn`t react negatively, you can be whatever you want, develop those synapses! :)

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