involuntary sexual nightmares/dreams – females
I’m disturbed by frightening and demoralizing nightmares that involve sexual desires of the opposite sex, not hating men in general, but in my dreams I’m just scared and feel engrossed I don’t understand why or where these dreams come from, because nothing weird happened during my childhood, and i got those dreams suddenly since a few years they return when i wanted to get rid of desires of my own and others all together by becoming more conscious about desires and being free from desires. The thing i talk about is rape, murder, prostitution, imprisonement, sexual demoralizing behavior in general, why does this happen and how to get rid of them? Is it something inside me or something bothering me outside myself, like some influence or something? Or is it my involuntary scary imagination? how to control it to happy thoughts and happy dreams? I question myself this as a female, because i dont know if men experience sexual dreams as involuntary or scary at all. I could think it is because i’m scared of it that i dream about it, but it doesn’t make any sense because i was always scared of it but now even more because of those nightmares, and also more people are scared of it and they dont dream about it, and I’m not consciously traumatized only those nightmares traumatize me, and i had some weird friend in a bad circuit a long time ago, does that make a link to my unconscious?
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@heartbeat, Long post ahoy!
Desiring and being desired is inevitable, and it’s not a bad thing. Desire is a force of nature, there’s desire/attraction in everything. What’s behind magnetism and electricity is the same thing that’s behind our human desires.
People destroy things out of desire, yes, but people also create things out of desire. People make peace out of desire, people reproduce out of desire, people love out of desire.
And not all destruction is bad.
The impulse to make nice that you speak of, that is nothing but desire.
Here’s the thing though, if the individuals aren’t at peace, the artificial “peace” they live in is just a lie. A lie made out of suppression and stagnation. What is the greater purpose? And why should people suffer for it? Sounds like fanaticism to me, no offence.
This desire to make personal sacrifices for some “greater good,” true or imaginary, is something everyone has, and the ego loves that shit because it’s some of the most potent ego fuel there is. This is known in psychology under terms like “hero complex” and “mother complex” (which can be considered the masculine and feminine poles of the same complex.)
Desires are just desires, everyone has them, and life wouldn’t be worth living without them.
It’s so tragic to see all this crazy shit the misled pseudo-buddhists spread like bombs all over the place these days, and how it affects some people’s lives and makes them suffer.
” that is the reason i thought desires are wrong because they interrupt the peace and harmony into weird forms of animalistic behavior instead of moral behavior.”
I’m pretty damn certain you’ve found the problem. Because this is it.
Morals are subjective, morals are ego. We’re animals, of course we behave like animals, that’s just part of who and what we are.
You’re trying to suppress this, and that’s why you feel so much agony. Suppression does no good, it causes tremendous amounts of suffering. The “pain body” spoken of in psychology is the heap of suppressed desires and instincts most people carry within them.
And you’ll never win that game, you can’t, it’s a dead end. Just let go, accept what you are. Suppression doesn’t take the “bad” (authentic) behaviour away, it just starts an endless battle inside your being. A massive dissonance that tears at your heart of hearts.
“I see fear as an alarming signal that something bad is happening.”
That’s exactly what it is. Genuine emotion (“positive and negative,” “love and fear/pain”) is just a feedback system, just like physical pain. When you do something that’s harmful to yourself, you feel pain, in your flesh or in your mind depending on which of them you are hurting. This is so that you will stop doing it.
Your fear and agony is your soul reacting to the harm you’re causing it, just like your body gives you pain when you keep your hand in the fire.
Don’t ignore it, don’t suppress it. LISTEN to it, and stop killing yourself.
You cannot experience “bad shit” without fear and pain. Because the “bad shit” is an opinion, and this opinion brings suffering to the soul. It is fear, it is suffering. And it’s created BY YOU.
The desperation you mentioned earlier is not a causal factor, it is a reaction, desperation is a direct result of fear only. This fear is what brings you to to desperately want to suppress things. Because the ego works in feedback loops, it will do anything to stay on the track, no matter how destructive that path is.
You can rid yourself of this terror only by letting go of the obsession with morals.
There is no good reason to fear, for fear is but salt in the wounds. No matter how logical it seems to fear, it only leads to suffering. Either act or forget, flee or eliminate. Fear comes from indecision between these options. Other animals do not fear like humans do, they just heed the warning and take action. Like we’re supposed to. Instead of “keeping the hand in the fire.” When you’re speeding toward a fork in the road, you better hang on the steering wheel, or you’ll be squashed like a mosquito.
You talk so much about morals. Is it moral to ruin a life, even if it is your own? And what effect does your misery have upon others? Emotion is contagious, so is habit. Is it moral to do this to people?
A loving relationship isn’t about morals, it’s about love and attraction. Morals is a framework of stifling ego opinions and beliefs. No love gets through that barricade. Only desire, desire for another mind, body, and/or soul. Claiming it as a part of your life, as your possession.
Relationships are built out of desire, that possessive/dominant desire to keep another person in your life. This is not love, but it works very well together with love, if kept at some distance. But most people fail at the distance thing, not just in relationships but in every area of life.
If you have nightmares about the person you’re with, there’s probably a deep set reason for this, some issue in the relationship or in one of you, that hasn’t been dealt with. That has been ignored and/or suppressed. Maybe that person really is cruel, or maybe you have a bit of overlooked deep set hatred for them (this is normal,) or something like that.
It is normal, not only for men, but for everyone, to feel aggression toward others. It’s instinct, it’s hardwired, no amount of philosophy or self-mastery will change that. It’s ok to feel that way, fuck the dogma. You don’t need to act on it just because you feel it, but that doesn’t mean you have to suppress it either. Just let go, accept it, realize that it’s just who you are and that it’s not wrong.
It’s just indoctrination and dogma, that’s been shoved down your throat by society and religion and other misled, self-righteous asshats since you were born.
Fuck em, they’re wrong, and their bullshit makes people suffer. There’s nothing wrong with who we are or what we are, and there’s no changing it. Instinct is more real and true to yourself than morals and rules ever will or can be.
Look, we’re humans, that’s how humans are. You are a human, but it seems you’ve forgotten that, please come back. There is no suffering about it when you stop hating on your own nature. Because that’s really what you’re doing, and what all religious people and moralists do deep down.
Let go, accept, realize that it’s FINE TO BE WHO YOU ARE AND NOT APOLOGIZE ABOUT IT.
“Every human being’s essential nature is perfect and faultless, but after years of immersion in the world, we easily forget our roots and take on a counterfeit nature.” -Lao Tzu
You are a human being, a free fun-loving spirit, sparkling wonder of the universe, an upright ape that thinks and creates, created “in His image.”
There’s nothing wrong about that.
The real you is absolutely awesome, there’s no sense in terrorizing her like you do.
All the aggression and destructive desires can be used for good things, it’s powerful motivation and passion, it’s what drives us to erase the bad stuff, it’s what drives us to push the envelope, it’s what drives us to fight those who are “evil,” and it’s what drives us to rock someone’s world in bed. Aggression and passion are just different expressions of the same thing.
Remember what you really are at the core, and stop trying to fight that inner battle which you cannot ever win.
Because the real you is better and more amazing in every way than any counterfeit sense of self you can ever muster up.
Peace and love
As a Sagittarius, it is supposedly very natural to me to want to ascend from my animal nature. To find that higher state of being, or to be more human, per say. Hence the symbolism of a horse that is half man. We are striving to become more than animal, and find higher forms of reasoning and better forms of behavior.
I think everyone has that desire in some way. It is part of us though, our animal nature. We still hunger for food because our body needs the sustenance. Where would you be without that hunger? Would eating be the same?
It is better to embrace who we are truly, because we are who we are. You cannot run from yourself.
It is possible to learn how to control your mind, and choose every thought that goes into your brain. I can’t do it, though I believe many people can and do. That is something worth learning.
Eliminating desires is a tricky thing, because when you have no desires, what’s left? Perhaps there would be peace and tranquility. That’s not so bad really. But at this point you have to wonder where is life headed? It would not matter so much what happens any more. It would simply be a passive existence. This is a very deep and masterful way of living, but is it really something you would choose?
This life gives you many paths that you can take, and they all lead to enlightenment. Don’t forget your morals, but don’t forget that God gave us desires either.
Animals have their own way of life. They are also intelligent, but they’re perception of the world is very different. Their minds are different. I would say that we humans have an ability to be very moral. Accepting to be that way is your choice, and choosing otherwise may have consequences. But we shouldn’t forget that we have instincts like any other animal, and that these instincts are very real and shouldn’t be simply ignored. Feelings are important too . They guide us, and come from the soul. Your words are of the mind. We should always seek to evolve. And have no doubt that as a society we are constantly evolving. Always follow your heart, Dreamer.
My thoughts about the dreams that are based off your fears, are that they are trying to show you how not to be afraid. You have already seen your fears now and are stronger still. I know it may be a painful memory, though now you know that your alright even though you had a bad experience. This is part of life, learning not to fear so much. Acceptance is a much better route. Even if it makes you feel bad. You are loved Dreamer, don’t forget yourself. Be proud of who you are, and eat cheese! :P
Well, my dears, I cannot recall ever having these sort of dreams. Perhaps it’s because in my dreams, I am always sporting a baseball bat in my hand. Who would dare risk their lives by trying to harm mine? :P
I do hope you find peace in your dreams, Dreamer :o)
@manimal, “And I can totally understand that you feel this way about men. After all, the purpose of male mammals is to dominate and destroy.” That was pretty stupid. But maybe people like the idea that they should dominate and destroy? Maybe instead of domination and destroying, everyone should be taught that they cannot be dominated or destroyed unless they want to. Seriously though, why are The Beatles one of the best bands in the world? Did they dominated and destroyed something else than society’s conservative beliefs? Or just the ego.
@heartbeat, This is actually unnatural….. i know this case I used to have those weird dreams everyday .
I know that part of you agrees with it while sleeping .. but when ur a wake .. you feel annoyed and by time you become depressed …
I had to use pills adviced by my therapist just to get rid of those nightmares but nothing worked :(((
but now , Thank GOD, they’re gone
soooo , if you still have those nightmares just let me know and I will tell you what to do :))
@heartbeat, Work on becoming proficient at Lucid Dreaming. There are plenty of topics on this here at HighExistence, or just google it. Once these bad dreams happen, you can become aware that you are dreaming and then fly away from the story-line.
Yea I’ve never had a dream of being raped. Although I have had dreams about mistresses leading me on thinking I’m going to get some pussy then they run away. The cycle would repeat in dreams so it was just me chasing hot women pretty much. Fairly frustrating. But then, sometimes they give it up and it’s dope so what can you do? It’s odd, every sex dream pretty much I’ve had was with girls I don’t ever remember seeing in waking life. I wonder why..
@Vovinawol, so that would mean it is something unconscious inside myself that i have to deal with, maybe that i dont know how to handle raw passion my own and others, because i feel threatened by it in normal life so i suppress it, something like that? because i t is something i suppress somewhere i dont want to acknowledge the reality of this world that bad things happen and women are not save in some parts of the world, but it freaks me out..
@heartbeat, I have no idea why you would have these dreams, but I bet if you hooked up with a loving dude it would prove that not all guys are out to get you. To answer your question about if guys get these, I can only answer for myself, but no. Rape is so far down on the list of things that concern me that it has never shown up in a dream.
@beyond, THAT’s stupid.
Domination and destruction have their place, they’re necessary.
People should be taught that they cannot be dominated or destroyed? Well, that is an act of dominating them. People can figure that shit out on their own anyway, shouldn’t need any teaching.
Beatles are one of the best bands because you think so, it’s an opinion, not a fact. Technically though, they aren’t a band. That was a long time ago.
They did dominate the music charts. And they did take part in destroying the previous pop culture. For something new to bloom, what was previously there must be destroyed.
@blankey Yea i thought of something like that too, but then i thought what if it means something about me? What if those dreams or things tell me something about my world, my believes. Yet i could try to understand how lucid dreaming is working, but i dont know yet.
@manimal, They dominated females. They are still covered for the same reason by the way. You’re gonna need a band of another bunch of real sincere friends to dominate the whole world. They didn’t just took part in destroying previous pop cultures, they inspired the bands that are dominating the charts today. You just can’t destroy classics, you’re just going to use them to your advantage. Anyway, this is a topic about sexual nightmares, not about good dreams.
@beyond I mean when you feel love towards someone it is romantic, when you feel raw passion towards someone it feels animalistic..somehow i linked that to evil; but that is also because you can feel that towards someone you are not in a relationship with even if you already have another relationship you can feel it towards any other person. I don’t think it is a moral way to act on raw passion compared to love for someone:S…so i judged it as being evil and when raw passion go’s further people do horrible things, and that is not because they love the other person, it is really another way of feeling towards someone…
@generaltitsvonchodehoffen yes you would say it somewhere concerns me so that could be the reason it shows up in my dreams….i just dont know why now since a few years, actually when i decided i did not want to have to do anything with desires…problem in finding some guy that is not like that is that my brain somehow interprets his desires as harmful, evil and wrong……
@beyond meaning it is not my fantasy, so i don’t see the pervertion thing because it is not what i want, it is what i fear, like i fear insanity, those nightmares have a close feel of insanity to it, that doesn’t mean i choose to have those nightmares, or you mean i somewhere on some level in my unconscious existence influence these dreams, but that is just the thing i dont know if i do that and i dont understand how:S
@manimal I so much do understand what you are saying, part of me agree’s with it, but part of me believes i need to restrain and train and evolve myself into a better human being by behaving morally acceptable, while in fact my core emotions perhaps are just not that in tune with moral behavior. I have two different sides, the animalistic and moral side, but maybe i should have good and bad or maybe i should have no judgment about it at all..
For example if someone does something that is unjust you can either make a fuzz of it, scream, react on it, find someone else to do that for you or run away< OR you could just suffer in silence……..well that is the thing that bothers me constantly, my evolving behavior tells me to suffer in silence while my animalistic behavior wants to protest against it..i would even come to think that my repressed me is a protection mechanism, while my moral me is the one suffering in silence………exactly what you say when you describe the feeling of fear, just feeling the fear not acting at all just stay frozen and feel the fear burning along it is just insane………….WHY have i told myself to feel the burn and keep on burning it is strange………i dont think it is healthy..it is some form of learned helplessness, because when you act upon it, it becomes animalistic, but maybe that is a good thing..
well the root of it all does come from culture, civilizations, religion, dogma's, we learned to act a certain way because some form of behavior is seen as good and the other is seen as bad. And the good behavior is rewarded while the bad behavior is punished. Now when you repress feelings, that clearly is not the way to go, because it turns out to attract exactly what you don't want in life. But being moral, you can not just act upon your first instincts, or can you?? Is there a life to live when people act on their first impulses, without making life a chaos. For example, discipline, intelligence and control are things learned in civilization, not really something animalistic. To teach oneself discipline is some form of cruelty against ones nature. Yet the lack of discipline results into laziness, is that a judgment of a bad thing because it is something we as a society dont see as a positive characteristic of human kind. Yet perhaps animals do have discipline and some form of intuition but it comes natural to them, but i come to feel that discipline is something you do without wanting to do it at the core of your being. It is a form of molding yourself into something else, something more refined.
I don't understand it, animals do have a clear structure of how their life is, and it works in tune with nature without needless harm right?, yet people have this learned civilization that go's against the core of nature to prevent chaos, a clash between cultural values and natural instincts..to find ourselves in our true nature should we evolve ourselves by being more culturally distinct and moral (feelings of love, compassion, altruism, conscious, intelligence) or should we evolve ourselves by going to our roots in nature (feelings of passion, anger, fear, intuition/instinct)? OR is going back to our roots in nature the same as going back to inner peace (feelings of love, intuition)..with other words, do animals have inner peace and do they evolve spiritually or is it merely something humans strive for?