Is it acceptable to…
So a guy asks me out on a date, and I am not attracted to him whatsoever but I say "yes" because I would genuinely like to be friends with him. Is this okay? Or is it not okay to go on a date with him when I don’t feel that way?
dont do that, leading guys on is bullshit and so is playing mind games. one’s intentions should be made clear from the start
If I were in your situation, I would say “how about we just make it coffee instead, before we get to know each other?” That way, you are just going out for coffee and a chat instead of an actual date.
It’s acceptable. You’re just hanging out and you must tell him that you’re not attracted to him. Just don’t twist his mind, because then there would be no way for you to be friends. Cheers.
Im not too sure myself, but im kind of thinking no…
But since you already said yes, i recommend you dont go on a second date if you want to be just friends.
But who knows, maybe youll like him more/differently after a first date!
And who knows, maybe an attraction will spark while you’re getting to know him over coffee!
If he’s asking you out on a date, he probably doesn’t want to be just friends
Or maybe he’s just bored and you think that you’re oh, so beautiful. Hahaha. Sorry. :)
Haha, thanks guys. I’m not positive it’s a date actually. Let me re-phrase. He asks me if I want to hang-out, maybe go hiking or play pool or something. This is a lot more casual, and it’s true that he may just want to be friends too, correct? OR is a guy asking a girl to do something like this still imply that he wants it to be romantic? Sorry, I’m kinda new to the dating thing.
I was thinking “HELL NO, that is terrible” but then I started thinking of all the times that I wasn’t given a chance AT ALL. Give it a chance and maybe you’ll fall for him. At least if you give him a chance, he’ll feel a little more fulfilled that way.
In situations like yours, him asking you to do stuff one on one normally tends to be a date. If he were asking you to go with him in a group setting (eg. hang with a group of friends), it would probably be a friend thing.
Just some ideas/thoughts im tossing out there.
Ohhhhhhh that’s why stupid bitches thought I was hitting on them just because we were alone. Oh, God. Please, don’t think that way.
|General Tits Von Chodehoffen|
NO NO NO! That’s fucking misleading as hell and results in a really awkward friend zone situation.
Okay, I’m getting conflicting responses here…. If it’s not a date then cool, I’ll just hangout with him. If it is a date, then what do I do to make it clear I don’t like him like that?
That wont make you guys friends. In his mind it will probably make you an ex. Once he gets the real message, he wont want to talk to you anymore most likely. But if you stop it before it happens its less likely to end in termination. A guy has a hard enough time hearing no without you saying yes! lol
It seems like you’re having troubles speaking your mind. Start from there.
So I can just tell him, “I don’t want anything romantic, friends?” Blunt. That works for me…
OR just go out and have fun.
i envy that you could be so blunt like that.
I’ve been in the same situation and its really hard to put some one in the friend zone if they don’t want to be there, and if you don’t want to hurt their feelings because you genuinely want to be friends with them.
lets just say i think I’m pretty good at leading guys on… oops
@Kayla – Hurt their feelings? This is a great misconception. Men don’t hurt like women do. There are a few exceptions, but if you’re hanging around with pussies, what does that say about you ?
That’s exactly what I thought. I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. I figured I would just ask, because quite frankly, I’m not very aware of dating etiquette. I’m glad to hear that generally guys don’t fell “sad” when a girl turns them down, and I’m happy to be put in the “friend zone” and put him and the “friend zone.” Thanks for the advice!
@sasho i don’t generally “go after” guys, therefore i don’t put them in a situation that they would have to place me in the friend zone :)
If you don’t mind me asking, what is so godawful about this bloke? Why do you want to be friends with him at all if he is so dislikable?
Not that I think friends and dating are the same thing, but from what it seems there is something you strongly dislike about this person. Like for example, I couldn’t date a yuppie-ish person, and I wouldn’t want to be friends with one either.
There is nothing godawful about him. In all honesty, I would say there are several small things that I would be picky about in a mate, but not w/ a friend. For example, his voice irks me, he is shorter than I am, and I really just am not attracted to him. But we have similar interests and he is a cool person. That’s really all. I know it’s shallow, but I am only 18 and right now looks are important. I wish they weren’t but I really can’t help it. I’ve been corrupted by pop-culture…. :(
I wish I could help you but I’ve always passionately hated Pop. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj-xOkHtHRg
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