So a guy asks me out on a date, and I am not attracted to him whatsoever but I say "yes" because I would genuinely like to be friends with him. Is this okay? Or is it not okay to go on a date with him when I don’t feel that way?
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If you don’t mind me asking, what is so godawful about this bloke? Why do you want to be friends with him at all if he is so dislikable?
Not that I think friends and dating are the same thing, but from what it seems there is something you strongly dislike about this person. Like for example, I couldn’t date a yuppie-ish person, and I wouldn’t want to be friends with one either.
There is nothing godawful about him. In all honesty, I would say there are several small things that I would be picky about in a mate, but not w/ a friend. For example, his voice irks me, he is shorter than I am, and I really just am not attracted to him. But we have similar interests and he is a cool person. That’s really all. I know it’s shallow, but I am only 18 and right now looks are important. I wish they weren’t but I really can’t help it. I’ve been corrupted by pop-culture…. :(
That wont make you guys friends. In his mind it will probably make you an ex. Once he gets the real message, he wont want to talk to you anymore most likely. But if you stop it before it happens its less likely to end in termination. A guy has a hard enough time hearing no without you saying yes! lol
Don’t get me started. Pop music is the worst form of music. I passionately hate it too. However, pop-music isn’t what I was referring to. Pop-culture is basically all encompassing, in regards to media, which is very hard to escape. Trust me, I’ve tried.
It’s very rare that a guy asks you out just to be your friend. If he’s gotten up the courage to plan ahead, he likes you. It’s different if you’re taking a class together and he spontaneously says, let’s get coffee. Men and women can be friends, but…if he is very, very attracted to you, going out with him will encourage him or at least give him hope.
Attraction is pretty important; I’ve been in love with “ugly” guys but there was something I still found attractive about them, not necessarily physical, but that too….so don’t feel shallow.
Just do it.
If he can’t read your signals, and can’t accept that you just want to be friends, the boy’s got issues. It’s his problem, not yours. It’s sickening (but also funny) how girls always get the blame for this shit when it’s really the guys that are doing it wrong.
i envy that you could be so blunt like that.
I’ve been in the same situation and its really hard to put some one in the friend zone if they don’t want to be there, and if you don’t want to hurt their feelings because you genuinely want to be friends with them.
lets just say i think I’m pretty good at leading guys on… oops
Haha, thanks guys. I’m not positive it’s a date actually. Let me re-phrase. He asks me if I want to hang-out, maybe go hiking or play pool or something. This is a lot more casual, and it’s true that he may just want to be friends too, correct? OR is a guy asking a girl to do something like this still imply that he wants it to be romantic? Sorry, I’m kinda new to the dating thing.