Is it acceptable to…

2 years, 11 months ago

So a guy asks me out on a date, and I am not attracted to him whatsoever but I say "yes" because I would genuinely like to be friends with him. Is this okay? Or is it not okay to go on a date with him when I don’t feel that way?

February 23, 2012 at 4:01 am

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Profile photo of pat pat (@epath) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

It’s very rare that a guy asks you out just to be your friend. If he’s gotten up the courage to plan ahead, he likes you. It’s different if you’re taking a class together and he spontaneously says, let’s get coffee. Men and women can be friends, but…if he is very, very attracted to you, going out with him will encourage him or at least give him hope.

Attraction is pretty important; I’ve been in love with “ugly” guys but there was something I still found attractive about them, not necessarily physical, but that too….so don’t feel shallow.

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Profile photo of FeralOne FeralOne (@paradoxone) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Don’t do it. He probably wants to be more than friends.

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Profile photo of ELI var namnet ELI var namnet (@manimal) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Just do it.

If he can’t read your signals, and can’t accept that you just want to be friends, the boy’s got issues. It’s his problem, not yours. It’s sickening (but also funny) how girls always get the blame for this shit when it’s really the guys that are doing it wrong.

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Profile photo of Martijn Schirp Martijn Schirp A (@martijn) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

I agree that his responsibility of reading signals is totally his. But the girl has to avoid ambigious signals as much as she can, nobody can distinguish which part is red and which is blue in purple paint.

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Profile photo of Steven Steven (@steven) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

If you know his expectations are different from your intentions it’s definitely not okay if you don’t tell him up front.

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Profile photo of Callisto Callisto (@calypso) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Signals!? Dammit. I swear, I am so terrible with signals. I do my best to be super friendly to everyone. Everyone being the prerogative word.

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