“It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it”
|ces’t la vie
I don’t understand how you think you know someone so well, and then once they do something to betray your trust you feel like you just don’t even know them anymore. Aren’t we all human? Aren’t we all going to make mistakes? Not trying to defend what he did… but why does it truly take seconds to destroy trust and change an entire relationship?
Because if someone can lie once, they can lie again; and you don’t know when they lied before. it undermines the whole foundation.
Trust is what builds a shared future and is at the heart of civilisation – the idea that we each ‘have each other’s back’ so that we can focus on doing something that we would not not do if we didn’t believe someone was looking out for us. ..providing us with the secure environment required to build that shared future.
For example, a woman who finds that her boyfriend is seeing another woman is faced with a single choice – accept it and enjoy the fact that you have no responsibility to his happiness, or ditch him and enjoy the freedom to meet someone else who is more closely aligned to you. Reality and Truth is a gift if we treat it as such. Trust is a bond – it provides benefits but, like a drug, it is easily abused.
|ces’t la vie
@siezmic I understand what you are saying… but how does a person deal with relationships again after the trust is broken? how does a person learn how to trust again… that is the hard part. and the annoying part of all of this. what if you had a whole plan with this person and then they broke your trust, and now, like you said feel gutted and abandoned. but you still don’t want to lose him. does that make you crazy?
@citygirl9050, I don’t think it makes you crazy at all. I think it means you feel unconditional love towards him and aren’t letting your ego get in the way. As the saying goes, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
I’d say a person is crazy to be with someone who keeps betraying the trust.
I think that, as simple as it might seem, it just depends on whether they did it unintentionally or on purpose; in the first case, forgiveness is completely understandable, but I assume you’re talking about the latter… In which case, sadly, there is absolutely no reason why they wouldn’t betray your trust again… So it’s up to you to decide whether you’re willing to put them above yourself and give them the power to hurt you again anytime. In my opinion, however long the relationship, it’s just not worth doing that. One thing my math teacher used to say that makes complete sense to me is “don’t be afraid to just strike off the entire equation and start again, if you feel it’s wrong”. There’s no way to get it right, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, no matter how far you go…
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