I've run into a wall.

2 years, 7 months ago

I don’t even know how to start this, so this will have to do.

As the title says, I’ve run into a wall of sorts. This wall however, is more something of a metaphysical wall. The wall I’m talking about is something that I haven’t been able to overcome. I don’t know what to call it, exactly.
The wall is basically that every time I start something that I find some interest in, or that I would like to accomplish, I end up stopping completely going for it. All of the sudden I end up doing something else that I’m interested in and I stop investing in the first goal that I had set. I account it to a few things. Laziness, lack of patience, or I get lost in the idea of how cool it would be to be really good at this, or being able to do that, or accomplishing this other thing, and I get off track.
I don’t know if this is a real problem or not, but I can’t seem to do anything. Lately I’ve been doing nothing. I don’t do anything. I just sit in the basement and browse the internet. I don’t work, and I start college at the beginning of September.
It feels like now all that I do is think, and I don’t do anything. I do things sometimes such as I’ll go and do a few pushups or something silly to feel like I’ve done something. The only time I do anything anymore is when I go do stuff with my friends. I’ve even tried to take up the piano, which isn’t going so well, since I’m trying to teach myself and as described above, I don’t do anything anymore.

I don’t think that I’m looking for a solution, since I do believe that most of the things that other people would tell me I’ve already told myself… I guess I just need to vent, and know that other people see what I’m saying, and even perhaps there are other people who have hit a similar wall?

Please do share. I would love to hear what others have to say. No matter what it may be.

August 9, 2012 at 5:00 pm

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Profile photo of James James (@ilooklikeawaterbottle) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@amphryde, many people in this world have been where you are and have experienced what you are experiencing. I was once there, and so were many people on this site. Relax, and enjoy the ride, you will come to be a better person.

Let it out, vent!

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Profile photo of yas yas (@yasmine) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@amphryde, Hey Mathieu. I’m in a similar situation at the moment. Don’t start college till…wow…next week already. Personally, instead of wasting my time, I look up things I’m interested in and try to do them. Like I started drawing this portrait, then stopped half way through. It got to me like you’ve described above. But later I just accepted the fact that drawing (or whatever other things i took up) isn’t rly for me.
It could also be that i’m trying it at the wrong time, maybe next time i try drawing i’ll enjoy it more. I try not to take it in a negative way and instead, use that energy to try something new. Or even find blogs about things i enjoy, like HE.
Just keep discovering and trying new things. The difference between me and you though is that I’m in saudi arabia right now, and well, you can’t do much here at all. I’m supposing you’re in a western country, and in that case i’ll try going out and doing things. Go to a class and learn something new within a community it helps when you’re with people, it encourages you. Good luck!

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Profile photo of Mathieu Mathieu (@amphryde) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@ilooklikeawaterbottle, I hope you’re right. I don’t know what to do and it feels like I should know by now and it feels like I’m running out of time to invest in what I truly want to do, which I don’t know what that is.

@yasmine, I guess timing might have something to do with it. I also tried drawing, but mostly because it was something that I used to do all the time, I stopped, and revisited, but I just don’t feel the need to invest enough time into it to be good at it.
You’re right about me living in a western country, I’m in Canada. I’m sad to say that I don’t know much about Saudi Arabia, but I wish you the best in finding what you want to do. I would love to go to a class and learning things, but there are monetary issues that arise, all those classes cost money. I think truly deep down, if I could, I would be a full-time student, and just go out and learn things all the time.

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Profile photo of  Anonymous (@) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@amphryde, Dude, I’ve been in your exact predicament. There’s much I could offer you in the way of advice, but I’m going to remain concise here.

1) Identify your talents.
2) Recognize what you are passionate about.
3) Check to see if you are passionate about any of your talents.
4) Expand your knowledge upon said talent.
5) Actively practice said talent.
6) Brainstorm a future for yourself involving this talent.
7) Actualize this vision by taking tangible steps in the determined direction. (Hardest step.)

Always keep your eyes, ears, and heart open. Inspiration loves reception.

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Profile photo of Mathieu Mathieu (@amphryde) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@optimystic, This has crossed my mind before, but in a much more crude way. I’ll give this a try. Although identifying talents has always been difficult for me, I believe this to be the best option.
Thank you for your words. I’ll do my best.

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Profile photo of James James (@freethynker7) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@amphryde, hey man one thing you need to know is that your not alone! its funny reading that cause i reminded me alot of myself at times. now my life is more busy but i used to be just the like that. its really a form of social/purpose depression. im not a doctor, in fact i just made up that term but its true. you lack enough social contact or enough meaningful purpose in your life. it causes dissonance, cause you tell your self you want to kick back and relax but at the same time you are tired of doing nothing, its a very annoying depressing cycle. all i can tell you is that it won’t be forever, once you have a purpose again it will be like an injection of drugs, endorphins will be flying around and what not. i recommend that set up something that has to be done even if you don’t want to do it. something you have to do everyday. forcing yourself to do even mundane tasks can boost your mood tenfold. try taking 5htp and boost your serotonin. one very important thing is to stay on a schedule. not having a schedule will make me depressed very fast. idk im sure you thought of most of this. just thought i could be a friend and relate. good li

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Profile photo of TheSkaFish TheSkaFish M (@theskafish) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@optimystic, eh, idk about thinking about talents, man. It was this very train of thought that led me into a similar situation for years (inaction out of believing I simply didn’t have the talent to do anything besides an ordinary job, and the resulting lack of confidence/depression).

@amphryde, I’d just say don’t worry about talent. Just think about the things you want to do, and do them with gusto. If you fear a lack of talent like I used to do, just keep working hard and smart at what you want to do, and eventually you’ll gain enough experience to be good.

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Profile photo of Sasho Stoyanov Anonymous (@) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@amphryde, Why don’t you try realizing that you already know what your problem is, so you don’t really have a problem? You’ll be so fucking ashamed of how easy it is to do something you would enjoy, you wouldn’t find words to share it to the next guy. I better have words though, you don’t wanna see someone with your experience wondering what’s missing. Anything specific you would like to share? There’s no wall.

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Profile photo of Mathieu Mathieu (@amphryde) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

@freethynker7, I suppose it would be a lack of purpose. I’m just here existing, not knowing what I should do, what I could do.

@theskafish, Agreed. But the issue is that I’m not sure what I really like to do. It feels more to me like there are so many things that I could do, and I would enjoy the outcome, but I’m not absolutely sure of what exactly I would enjoy the process of doing itself.

@beyond, I think what I’m having trouble with is kind of a self anger. I realize that I have a problem that I would like fixed or that I should be doing something. However, I never do it. I guess I don’t really feel a need to do any of it, but I feel like I should feel a need to do what I think needs to be done. If what I said even makes any sense at all. I don’t know what I could share specifically.

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Profile photo of Matthew Matthew (@matthewalexander) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

wow you are literally just like me with the piano and starting college soon and just searching the web and everything. Im sure there’s a bunch of kids just like us and from what i’ve heard here and from others but at this point i’m guessing the only thing we can do is wait it out. I’m pretty sure a passion will come to us soon and we’ll know when it hits us. Or not i have no idea but what else could we do.

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Profile photo of ashtonbrainwavelove ashtonbrainwavelove (@ashtonbrainwavelove) 2 years, 7 months ago ago

Hey, I do think @freethynker7‘s post is quite good at describing the whole situation you have run into! And again, a lot of people have been through it, including me! I think what is making it worse is the pressure you are putting on yourself to get out of this situation. So, first of all – stop the pressure! You are not running out of time… What does this mean? People are changing directions really late in their lives, so there is never ‘too late’.

I think that another term that could be given to what you are experiencing is something like chronic apathy. I have managed overcoming it by changing places or meeting new people. Honestly, what you need is some fresh energy! And again, don’t get focused on the idea that you HAVE to do something about it. Just try new things and you will see that sooner or later you will stick with one of them. You are very young and all these are phases that you are going through!

Good luck and stay positive!

Best,

– Ashton

http://www.brainwavelove.com

info@brainwavelove.com

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