Moral Conflict

2 years, 11 months ago

So I first off went to state that I am normally a passive person, not much a person can say to me will really make me mad, or truly upset. And this has happened more so sense I have joined HE and have started meditation and reiki practice. I have really just been able to forgive everyone and let go grudges. Life has been so wonderful until now…

It all began when I started taking a lab class to accompany my bio class. I sat down in an empty table soon to be filled up with in a few minutes by all males. I know none of their names so i’ll describe them as such. One seemed very quiet and shy, the other was a foreign man who spoke pretty good English but still needed some work, and the last one was a kid who seems to be a little slower ( and I have nothing against that just stating my observation). And lastly me, seeing that no one was going to step up I took the role of kinda of the leader of the group and all was good for the first lab. It wasnt until the second lab that I found out that the shy kid was one of the biggest assholes ever!
No sooner than the second lab started I started to realize this kid was a straight dick, but not to me to the was his aggression directed towards it was the slower kid. Now I did not find this funny, but very rude and offensive. So i took the kid aside and told him that he should stop because it wasnt nice.( and the fact that the kid did not comprehend that he was being mad fun of). The asshole basically told me to fuck off and he started to to make smart remarks about everything I did and still mad fun of the other slower kid in the process.
Now this has been going on for a few weeks now and my blood is starting to boil!! Now like I said im usually pretty passive but something about this whole thing is really starting to get to me. The last two classes I really held myself back from punching this kid square in the face. Now I know violence is not the answer, but this kid is built like a twig and he walks around like his the man.
Now personally I want to hit him and just teach him a lesson. But at the same time I know that is not normally not me. I have never really wanted to beat someone up so bad in my life. It pains me too think this way sometimes, because I do not want to be that guy who beats other people up. That will make me on the same level as this kid and I don’t want that.
All I am looking for is a little advice maybe. I have brought this up to many people close to me and no one has told me anything besides just dont beat the kid up. Nothing else, and it’s frustrating cause I am not thinking straight. Thanks to any one who reads all of this and any tips on how to get over this or anything at all will be much appreciated.

March 29, 2012 at 2:28 pm

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Profile photo of Klasky Klasky (@klasy) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Do the other members of your group agree with you? If so, have them tell him he’s a dick, preferably while you’re all sitting down, so that he can’t go anywhere and knows what’s what. Twisted but effective :D Psychological pressure FTW

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Profile photo of Shredder Shredder (@shredder) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Why not beat him at his own game? You seem pretty smart. They’re just words; use them against him.

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Profile photo of Matt Matt (@greenthinker) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Are you in college? If there are no assigned lab groups, ask him politely to leave your lab group. It will probably help if you get your lab group’s support too.

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Profile photo of Mark Mark (@swifti) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

@Matt
I am in college so I suppose the option of kicking him out hi there. But the problem is I don’t think i can get the support of of the group because the slower kid would totally support I think if i explained the situation but the asshole of a person wouldn’t take it seriuosly and if he did not leave it would just make things worse. Plus I think the forgien guy is on his side since all they talk about is some girl’s butt the whole time ( kinda of creepy how they go about it to be honest). after cooling down a bit from today’s lab i think I can see a little more clearly now. I believe I can just tough it through and if I just remove myself from the situation, possibly move to another group myself I can take care of this in a non violent way.
@Shredder
I have tried this and it does work…. but only for a little bit and then he is right back at it. Plus by playing his game I feel like I am the exact thing that I hate in him so much.

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Profile photo of Shredder Shredder (@shredder) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

He is causing you a problem and I believe you are smart enough to fix it. If he’s really being as rude as you say, and there is no reason to his rhymes, call him out on it. Make him realize the more he talks the more he looks stupid. I’m sure no one wants to hear what he has to say. He won’t have a choice but to change his tune or stfu.

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Profile photo of Shredder Shredder (@shredder) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

In the end if it is just words he’s using then there doesn’t have to be a problem because you don’t have to pay them much mind.

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Profile photo of Mark Mark (@swifti) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

@shredder
True that I think imma call this kid out on all the shit his talking! And like you said they are just words and plus after a couple more weeks I’ll never see this kid again! Thanks for the input, it’s helped me think things out!

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Profile photo of Brandon P'naantan Pinkney Brandon P’naantan Pinkney (@hlalhabattu) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

what @shredder said, and if it persists next class after you’ve called him out in front of everyone in the group, then your only real (nonviolent) option is to kick him out of the group…if he wants to act like shit, let him be expelled like it

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Profile photo of Sasho Stoyanov Anonymous (@) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

@swifti, Develop a sense of humor. Make fun of yourself with self-irony and how serious you get, because being so serious just contradicts with your “usual” calm behavior, and I didn’t understand what the fuck you just said – that is – without looking like an idiot. Apparently you don’t know how to make fun of him and he doesn’t know how to mock people without hurting them. Or maybe you’re exaggerating and “the slow” kid doesn’t give a fuck. By the way, how do you protect someone if you call them “the slow”? What was “the dick” doing again? Calling people bad names? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

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